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BED and being obese to morbidly obese


TakeAChillPill
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If you have Binge Eating Disorder and have put on a significant amount of weight, this is the thread for you.

I'd like to give a shout out to Winter Rose for making this possible.  She made a little niche for Weight Gain just for people like me.  Thank you kindly dear.  

My weight gain is not all because of my medicine.  I ate and ate like it was my job.  I have trouble controlling the impulse to eat.  Because my meds have made me feel asexual for three decades, food became the thing that filled the void where my sex life used to be.  

I weigh 300 pounds and was at one time about 12 pounds heavier than this.  I am so used to being me that I don't really notice how big I am.  Every once in a while I'll see my body's reflection out of the corner of my eye, perhaps reflected in a store window as I walk alongside it.  It is only during these fleeting accidental encounters that I see my body and how enormous I am. 

If I purposefully look in the mirror it's not the same thing.  I have defense mechanisms that will kick in and make me not see how heavy I am.  
 

I was never a fat kid.  I was always thin.  In fact when I was ages 14-16 I almost became anorexic.  After that passed I realized how much more I could eat if I didn't starve myself and slow down my metabolism.  I could eat truckloads and not gain any weight.  A high metabolism runs in my family.  

I relied on my lucky genes and body chemistry to see me through eating huge quantities of food.  I started slowly gaining though.  There was one year when I was 21 years old that I went on weight watchers and got down to a very slim physique.  It only took me a few months.  From there on, I was going to EAT even though at first I would eat so much that I'd involuntarily vomit perhaps several times a day.  That was a mere brush with bulimia and it did not last very long.  My tummy grew bigger in order to allow me to consume more food.  

By the time my brother got married in 2008 I was already well-over 200 pounds.   I was 27- almost 28.  The most significant weigh gain happened between then and when I turned 31.   I went from the 220's all the way to 300 and even beyond in less than 4 years.  I've stayed at about 300 now for almost 4 years.  

That is more or less a timeline of me and my weight gain.  

I don't know if I have it within me to really change.  

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I'm going to preface this post saying I do not have BED, but I have had enormous weight gain in the past.  My pdoc put me on naltrexone, and it saved me.  It is usually used for addiction, like with cigarettes and alcohol, but in my case it is with food.  I can relate to a lot of what you wrote about in your post.  I am slightly overweight now, but it wasn't like that before the naltrexone.

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I had bulimia in the past and go through periods of binging but mostly I just eat too much, regularly - my weight has started ballooning back up from almost healthy weight, but I stopped running and started eating 5 meals a day plus snacks and yeah.  

I've lost weight on the meds I'm on now so I know it's not the meds.   I have some thyroid stuff but again this is down to me eating too much, maybe the thyroid doesn't help, but I'm still eating too much.  I've been a bit better the last 3 days.  

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I have not been formally diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I gained 70 pounds in a year and a half primarily through binging: eating massive quantities of high-calorie junk to try to make myself feel better, especially to deal with bad anxiety. I had strong impulses at times to make myself vomit but did not follow through on them. I have been heavy before, but I hit my all-time peak weight about six months ago, 246 pounds (I'm 5'5"). My BMI was over 41, which labels me as morbidly obese. I thought that Abilify was at least partially to blame for the weight gain because it had been causing severe fatigue, so I went off it (but stayed on all my other meds) and the fatigue got somewhat better, but not as improved as I was expecting. The weight gain stopped and the binging was much more controllable. But I was so full of anxiety that I couldn't really function any more, certainly not work, and I was just a real mess.

Thanks to advice from my tdoc, I finally recognized that I was neglecting all aspects of my health: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual (spiritual meaning having a purpose to your life, not necessarily having religious beliefs). I was basically making myself miserable because I kept going for short-term pleasure instead of long-term improvements. On May 1st of this year I committed to getting healthy. I don't eat any junk any more...I have completely overhauled how I work to greatly reduce stress and burnout...I have been taking time out to take care of myself on a daily basis. And I have recommitted to my purpose in life.

This all probably sounds really lame, and I'm generally an incredibly sarcastic and cynical person, but it's made a huge difference in my life. So far I have lost 32 pounds. I haven't binged. My fatigue is much better and I exercise every day and enjoy it. I have become, dare I say it, a bit of an optimist. I am happy most of the time and my anxiety is the best it's been in several years. I actually get up at 6 a.m. every day, willingly, instead of sleeping in until 10 or later because I can't stand to be awake and thinking. Some days I even look forward to working.

I don't claim to have all the answers, and god knows I've been overweight pretty much continuously since I was a baby, except for about twelve years ago where I got my weight down to 150 for a year or two. Even then I was borderline overweight. But for me the key has been educating myself about what health really involves, and focusing on permanently changing my lifestyle to achieve better physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. I swear by MyFitnessPal and the community there; my friends there are incredibly supportive and we all help each other out on a daily basis. I also get a lot of support from family and friends. But the most important thing is that I am doing this for myself, and no one else.

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@StormBeforeCalm

Thank you.  I found that to be somewhat inspiring.  I weighed myself this morning and to my surprise i was back up to 307 instead of an even 300.  

I also saw a physical therapist for the first time today to help heal my planter fasciitis. He told me I can't walk aerobically or use my elliptical machine at home until my feet are better.  This means I can only swim or use a recumbent bicycle.  I suppose I will try to get in three days of exercise at the physical therapy place on their recumbent bike.  

I plan to start watching what i eat again and might go back to Weight Watchers with my mother at the end of the summer.  

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@TakeAChillPill: I started walking 15 minutes a day to improve my health at the beginning of May. Within a week I had self-diagnosed plantar fasciitis in my left foot. I ignored the pain and kept walking, but the pain kept getting worse. After about a week of pain, the pain suddenly got much worse, so I went to an orthopedic doctor. Turns out I had both plantar fasciitis AND a stress fracture. I spent almost a month in a walking boot, with my only exercise being stretches, pretty much. Then I spent a month doing more rigorous physical therapy exercises every day, like squats and step-ups. The plantar fasciitis seemed to go away, and the stress fracture didn't bother me any more, but the back of my heel kept getting sore and burning. Last week I was diagnosed with achilles tendinitis, so I'm back in the boot and doing no exercise other than stretches again.

It sucks. It really sucks. I would absolutely love to be doing a daily walk for exercise, but that's just not possible right now. I do my physical therapy exercises every day, and I lose weight almost exclusively because of my food choices and not exercise. I know that aerobically I am a mess; I'll just have to start over with aerobic exercise after my foot is better, and even then, I'll have to ramp up gradually so that I don't restart the plantar fasciitis.

I hope you find the right combo of healthy eating and exercise that works for you. I'm so sorry that you have plantar fasciitis; I know how incredibly painful it can be. Hang in there and keep seeing that physical therapist.

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