Newscientist675 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I'm in the middle of some sort of episode. I cannot get in to see a doctor until next month. What started as hypo mania has transformed in to a cluster fuck of anger and suicidality. I'm being assessed for autism spectrum disorder as well as bipolar and I just can't go on anymore. I'm sick of hurting those around me. I don't deserve anything or anyone.they said to go to a and e if I am struggling but the last time I went there I was hallucinating and manic and was turned away.I don't know what to do anymore, I cannot see a way out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 I'm sorry that you are feeling so bad. It seems like you are in the middle of a nasty episode. The thing about episodes is that they are episodic, i.e. you won't feel so horrible forever even though it feels like it now. And suicide is a permanent fix for temporary pain. I hope that you are able to get in to see a doctor sooner rather than later. You mentioned that you can't see a doctor until next month, but did you make the appointment so that you know for sure that you will see the doctor next month? That is perhaps the most positive step you can take. I'm also wondering if you call your doctor and tell them that it's urgent whether they can fit you in the schedule earlier.Welcome to CB! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newscientist675 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 Hey jt07they have me booked in they said I will just have to wait.i am on olanzapine 15mg already but it just doesn't seem to be curbing things. I feel like a fraud and am not sure whether I am experiencing psychosis or not. Thank u for replying u are kind.i will maybe go to a and e tomorrow, I have heard lithium can make the delusions and tactile hallucinations go away (that bit is awful and makes me feel like my body is not my owni hope I can help others if I get better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Going to A&E sounds tomorrow sounds like a positive plan. I hope they can help you. Lithium helps a lot of people so if they can start you on that, it would be great. It just sounds like olanzapine is not the med for you, but there are many, many, many meds out there that might work and lithium is one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newscientist675 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 Thank you for giving me hope jt07 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 You are welcome. Just remember that the right med or med cocktail can make ALL the difference in the world. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rabbit37 Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Idon't know how long you've been seeing your (pdoc? gdoc?), but can you call and request a med over the phone? I've had to do that before, it's certainly worth a try. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newscientist675 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 Hey rabbit37. It is a psychiatrist that I am seeing. I rang up to tell them how bad it is and they are going to try for me tomorrow. thank you for the kindness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flash Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Glad to hear you're going to see your pdoc tomorrow. I hope a med tweak does the trick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newscientist675 Posted July 15, 2015 Author Share Posted July 15, 2015 Sorry I meant that they are going to try get the wheels in motion. You are all lovely am just going to keep going day by day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twidder Posted July 15, 2015 Share Posted July 15, 2015 Thoughts and prayers are with you Newscientist675. Most of us have been where you are and we have come out of it; you will too! Don't lose hope, no matter what you think you are loved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissaw72 Posted July 16, 2015 Share Posted July 16, 2015 I hope the med tweak works. There is always a way out. Don't give up hope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newscientist675 Posted July 16, 2015 Author Share Posted July 16, 2015 Hey. The care coordinator rang me and has told me that another label is not going to help at the moment and that I will have to wait to see him. She was helpful in part and I managed to rest last night.it seems I am not going to be validated for this pretty nasty experience. I told her that I knew what bipolar is because I have experienced both ends of the spectrum and even mixed episodes but she said this may be a borderline thingstill feeling depressed, I am in the middle of a relationship breakdown.i will have to weather it all and I guess write down my thoughts and feelings because I know I cannot continue without some sort of help with these nasty moods.thank u for your support it really is helping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Level_With_Me Posted July 26, 2015 Share Posted July 26, 2015 This sounds really like a unsettling situation. The place you get treated at doesn't sound like a very good place. Not to sound rude but look into another clinic. Everyone deserves emergency treatment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newscientist675 Posted July 26, 2015 Author Share Posted July 26, 2015 Thank you.i am leaving the bad place. I feel courage and strength.seeing a doctor in a week and a half.will hang on.thank you for your kindness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.