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I want to reach out and talk to someone but they'll automatically think I'm suicidal due to the things it says and I don't want people to be checking up on me all the time.

I understand how you feel, I've had a voice that told me "Do it" a few times when scissors or knives have been in my field of vision or on my mind for whatever reason. The CMHT knew at the time I was having suicidal ideation along with this particular voice. They never once brought up about going inpatient though maybe because I have family around me all the time, maybe that's the difference here, that and never having tried to commit suicide before.

Do yourself a favour though and reach out to your therapist, as long as you're not going to attempt to take your own life, you're actively resisting the voice and you've told the CMHT that much then you shouldn't ever be forced to go inpatient. Don't bottle this stuff up, talk to someone about it, and also give yourself a pat on the back for being so strong, you deserve that much!

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I can empathize with you.  It is very frustrating.  Similar things I've heard also ... except they were said directly to me, cutting me down, telling me things were drugged with PCP and crack, that I was a loser, to kill myself and how, etc.

What helped me was a med adjustment.  The voices still happen, but not as often as they did.  And they are much lighter (I don't hear them yelling at me anymore).

Are you on any meds?

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sorry to hear about your condition dear canyoufixthebroken, actually the voices came exactly to have you feel desperate and to embitter you, to steal your intimacy, your happiness. Do not get discouraged though. You have to fight back by adopting a mentally positive attitude. It might sound devastating, yes but the best way to fight them off is to accept them by moving ahead with your life as if they had not been there in the first place. Keep pursuing your life goals and do not let them get you off your due course, Refrain from ever giving them any attention and instead focus on building your happiness daily by proactively following through your projects. You can do it. you can be that brave

Edited by weblife
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yes but the best way to fight them off is to accept them by moving ahead with your life as if they had not been there in the first place. Keep pursuing your life goals and do not let them get you off your due course, Refrain from ever giving them any attention and instead focus on building your happiness daily by proactively following through your projects. You can do it. you can be that brave

You can't just "move ahead" as if the voice/s hadn't been there.  It is hard to not give the voices attention when that is all you hear.  It isn't that easy.  Maybe some people can, but IMO that isn't the majority.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I wouldn't worry about losing friends; they don't need to know. Your girlfriend sounds like the supportive type especially since she's had first hand experience. If you do decide it might be worth a shot you could talk to the CMHT about how long they'd like you in there for. It might be only a few days, a maybe two weeks at the most, not enough to interfere with your studies when the time comes. You ought to be able to negotiate it.

 

Good luck in whatever you do.

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I haven't taken haldol but I have take a shot-form of med before (prolixin).  There are good and bad about both pill form and shot.

With the pill form, you can wean down off of it if it isn't working. Downside is that you have to remember to take the pill.

With the shot, it stays in you for awhile, and if it isn't working right, you need to wait until it is all out of your system (as opposed to weaning down right away).  The good side is that you don't have to remember to take the pill every day.

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