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putz the psych into psychotic mania


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I'm  a 35 yo, caucasian female with the current diagnoses of bipolar, type 1, with psychotic features, ADHD, methadone-dependency, insomnia, and broad-spectrum anxiety disorder. I might have random learning disabilities, too eccentric to pin down. I live in Manhattan, and have since birth. I like muscle cars (both driving and crashing), building computers, prehistory, paleontology, cryptozoology, photography, artificial intelligence, pharmacology, cartoons, adult swim...

I earn a - pathetic - salary selling art photos, the occasional show or contest or whatever - OR - I build custom computers for people with way too much money to spend. Once in a while, I'll teach photo or computer skills. Before I mangled my car in a wreck, I worked as an EMT-B.

I lost track a long time ago how many ERs, psych wards, medications, ambulance rides, etc., etc. a long, long time ago.

current meds: lithium 900 mg bid, xanax 2 mg bid, zyprexa ODT PRN, tranxene po PM, methadone 230 mg q AM, quetiapene 400 mg bid, methylphenidate 10 mg bid, lyrica PRN, Soma PRN, lorazepam 1 mg tid

 

i feel a little more comfortable after reading more introductory notes. as much as i love the euphoria of pure mania, i'd be lying if i said it didn't scare me. i get violent - esp. w/ hospital staff (especially when it's several to one, and i don't have restraints or a 5/2 of haldol/ativan needle. One time I cracked one orderly in the face, fracturing his cheekbone; another time i broke a security guard's nose. To be honest, I didn't feel bad at all, either time. But it does scare me that I can lose control like that...

 

Edited by bioluminescent
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