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Its been a while since ive even been on this forum. 

Its been even longer since i just spilled my mind out somewhere. 

But im really struggling. I want advice on so many aspects of my life, but i feel as though im just being melodramatic. Im an adult, i should be able to cope. 

I had an opportunity for a job. It was in a field i like, and was basically going to be handed to me if i updated my CV and gave it to them. But i started updting it and then everything exploded and i couldmt write it. I had a full on meltdown and have spent the last 2 days in bed. And now the jobs most likely gone. I needed it, the job im in is crushing me and this would have been my saviour, but no matter how hard i try i cant make myself work for it. 

I keep missing shifts at my current because i am forgetting what day it is. My relationship is strained because i cant focus on anything long enough. 

Im currently without drugs or therapy and i didnt want to go back to it because of previous bad experiences with it all, but i cant deal. 

I just need a restart. Or a time machine. I need someone to run my life for me. 

Maybe this should be a blog instead of a forum thread (so, sorry)  but i dont know where to start getting my life on track and it seems like all the plans i make are lets say 'detrimental' to my health. I just dont know how to cope. 

Does anyone have similar experience to this? How did you kickstart your life again? 

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I think Melissa is right. & perhaps a friend or relative could write to your potential employer on your behalf?? I was terrified of the prospect of hospital, but when I was there it was ok. it sounds like you could use some of the same. try & stay positive. you CAN do it -I take it you have done it before, so there's the proof. 

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Ive never been inpatient before, but to be very honest, it does sound helpful right about now. The only problem i have with it is that i have rent and bills to pay, and my company wont cover me for it. Fun ey?! 

Thanks for the replys, its actually just nice to spew my mind in type, without having to think of the words out loud. 

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Ive never been inpatient before, but to be very honest, it does sound helpful right about now. The only problem i have with it is that i have rent and bills to pay, and my company wont cover me for it. Fun ey?! 

Thanks for the replys, its actually just nice to spew my mind in type, without having to think of the words out loud. 

Most hospitals have free or partial care if you don't make a lot of money.  I think it would be a good idea to contact the hospital and talk to their finance and/or billing departments to see if they offer the free/partial care or not.  If not, I'm pretty sure you could set up a payment plan with them.

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Ive never been inpatient before, but to be very honest, it does sound helpful right about now. The only problem i have with it is that i have rent and bills to pay, and my company wont cover me for it. Fun ey?!

Thanks for the replys, its actually just nice to spew my mind in type, without having to think of the words out loud.

Most hospitals have free or partial care if you don't make a lot of money.  I think it would be a good idea to contact the hospital and talk to their finance and/or billing departments to see if they offer the free/partial care or not.  If not, I'm pretty sure you could set up a payment plan with them.

Luckily for me i live in the UK so we get free care under the NHS and all that shit, so its not paying for the hospital im worried about, its the 'not being paid by my work if I do go into hospital'. Without being paid I cant pay my rent etc so heres my quagmire.

inpatient just seems like a fantasy right now, even though I feel a need for it, I think ill have to try the whole meds thing again first which I was trying to avoid from the last time it went tits up.:/

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Maybe you could think about it like yes, you have rent to pay etc, (and I totally understand this) but what would happen if you lost your job because of something psych going on?  Do you have any vacation or paid leave from your job?  Like if you went IP maybe you could be evaluated and helped, and eventually get back to work, not having to worry if there is a job or not waiting for you.  Does this make sense?

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Well they wouldn't be able to fire me if i went IP, but neither will they pay me. vacation pay is a good thought, i don't know how i glossed over that? my mind is literally all over the place right now. they might let me? i don't know. ill ask. maybe. i don't like talking about my mental health at work. but maybe ill ask thanksyou Melissa

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