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hi all

so 99% of my anxiety and OCD intrusive thoughts/worries are centered around my children. I say 99% because I did have these conditions before I had kids, but things were more generalized, and I was much younger (first child at 19 I'm 36) so I just knew of less to worry about.

anyway, I was in therapy for a few years, but honestly I wasn't getting anything out of it, maybe like just a place to bitch about things but like no real help.

i don't think she was a bad therapist per se, I just think that since my worries and obsessions revolve around my kids, and obviously she can't assure me nothing will happen to them, so I just ended up feeling like it was pointless. Know what I mean?

like I've already tried to just breathe, try to block the thoughts etc, but I know that's just me trying to distract myself, it's not making the thoughts stop, nor is it relief from the worry at all since anything can happen at any time, so how is therapy supposed to help when it isnt all that irrational?

Like, everyone who has had something bad happen to their kids never really thought it would happen to them right? They probably went through life "normally" and didn't get sick with thinking bad stuff was going to happen, so no amount of therapy can convince me things are fine.

so what? I'm stuck like this? I do take Xanax daily and Valium before bed, but I'm not willing to take anything else.

i was on so many different things a few years ago and nothing helped. I just got fat, tired, and wicked moody. I won't take anything that has potential for weight gain.

ok thanks for reading this. I don't know what to do. My kids are 16,5,5 so I have a long time left to worry :(((

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Are you seeing a different therapist now, or did you stop therapy altogether with the last therapist you had?

FWIW, just about all meds can have the potential for weight gain.  Everyone is different though, so some may experience it while others may not.  You won't know unless you try.  So when you say that you won't take anything that has the potential for weight gain, that kind of rules out LOTS/MOST of meds out there ... and you never know ... there may be one that could help you that won't cause you weight gain.

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Hey Mel thanks for the reply

no im not seeing a therapist now. I stopped with the last one.

i tried at least five different meds / med combos. I don't know which exactly caused the gain and the prescriber couldn't isolate it either since a) I was on multiple meds at once and b) like you said all meds are diff and each body reacts differently.

what I'm on now doesn't cause weight gain so it's all I'll take. 

maybe i will try to find another therapist and see if they can help 

I just feel like it's always going to be an issue and I guess if a therapist can just help me deal with the fact it will always be an issue that could be helpful.

thanks again for your reply I appreciate it 

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Have you tried seeing a therapist who specialized in OCD?  The International OCD Foundation has some good resources on finding the right therapist and a provider directory (which might not be much help depending on where you're located).  Intrusive thoughts can be tricky to treat, and not all mental health professionals have the right training.  Unfortunately, you're right that the thoughts probably won't go away--OCD likes tendency to grab on to the things we love the most and magnify our fears in that department--but they don't have to cause you constant anxiety if you can find treatment that works for you.  Have you ever read "Imp of the Mind" by Lee Baer?  I'm sorry that you're dealing with this.  OCD is a nasty little beast.  

Edit: I meant to include the link to the IOCDF website!  https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/treatment/how-to-find-the-right-therapist/

Edited by Rojatta
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Boston is sort of an OCD treatment hub :)  The OCD Institute at McLean in Belmont might be a good resource as you search.  Even if you don't actually pursue treatment there, there are clinicians who see private clients there or they might have recommendations for providers outside the hospital that are near you.  There are also monthly (I think) support groups and lectures on various topics related to OCD at McLean during the school year.  I'm not sure if they have them over the summer too.  Good luck!  

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Thanks again Rojatta

i never thought to find one who specializes

i guess I'm in the right place if I'm going to have OCD

i did notice the author of the book you Rec was from or is currently around the Boston area so I am hopeful that I'll find some assistance

thank you again :)

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I hope you find a good one as well.

I sometimes get caught in worries about natural disasters and live in a place designated to have the next superquake in the next 50-100 years or so. I can't stop it from happening (even though I try sometimes by making sure we have disaster supplies prepared). We could move, but there would be other kinds of natural disasters in other places. 

While not the same as worrying about one's offspring, I do see some similarities. We do the best we can to make sure things are ok. And at some point we have to realize there is just a place where we do not have control.

That's a hard one.

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Thank you Wooster. You've been here awhile, haven't you? I lurked years ago and your name is familiar. 

Anyway, yeah similar thoughts in terms of there really not being anything anyone (therapist or other wise) can tell me to make it ok. 

Things are getting out of my control in some aspects and I know it's causing a flare up in symptoms I just can't stop it.

my little ones start day camp soon and they've never been at something like that before so of course I've considered every single worst case scenario. I'm careful (aware enough) not to let on to my kids that I worry. 

It's just a suck way to live always thinking this shit, but some times are worse than others and this is a definite flare up. 

I will just keep taking the Xanax and trudge through. I will certainly be looking for a therapist who specializes in OCD. 

I know I have issues with control as well, but Im sure that anxiety based as well.

thank you for your input. I wish you well. I hope you're old enough you won't have to worry about 50-100 years from now ;)

Oh and Wooster come to Boston no natural disasters here! If you can stand the 5 month deep freeze we call winter :)

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Have you tried seeing a therapist who specialized in OCD?  The International OCD Foundation has some good resources on finding the right therapist and a provider directory (which might not be much help depending on where you're located).  Intrusive thoughts can be tricky to treat, and not all mental health professionals have the right training.  Unfortunately, you're right that the thoughts probably won't go away--OCD likes tendency to grab on to the things we love the most and magnify our fears in that department--but they don't have to cause you constant anxiety if you can find treatment that works for you.  Have you ever read "Imp of the Mind" by Lee Baer?  I'm sorry that you're dealing with this.  OCD is a nasty little beast.  

Edit: I meant to include the link to the IOCDF website!  https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/treatment/how-to-find-the-right-therapist/

hey Rojatta I just wanted to thank you, I went to that link you provided and I have an appointment with someone local next week.

im hopeful, thanks so much :)

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