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I agree with you.  Also when people walk alone at night by themselves, sometimes they (women) will get attacked (and more), by coming up behind them and just grabbing them.  I know this has happened because every time it does it makes the news here.

I am paranoid of fire and flooding, and the fire hasn't happened, but my apartment has been flooded 5 times, but only once of those was most of the apartment.   The other 4 times was a "smaller" section of it.

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The problem is that we live in a society of fear mongering. Everything is a potential threat and everything needs to be treated with apprehension. A chance of disaster does not mean it will happen. Unfortunately, we all seem so focused on that "will" and not not on the more probable outcome (nothing bad happens at all)

Be sensible about safety, just don't let it rule your life. 

Edited by saintalto
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madmax15 - you are right. There are people out there with bad intentions. Also sometimes bad things happen like melissa is saying, things flood, and accidents happen. It's good to be aware that those things happen in a sense that we can maybe avoid some of the crappy things and take some precautions in our daily life. I've had my share of crap happen to me and I'm sure you all have too. So a little paranoia is justified. It's also true that people with mental health disorders have been shown to be more likely to be the victims of certain crimes :/. I think some really bad people pray on weaker people. I guess I'll share a small story.

Last summer I was escorting a blind woman to an inner city museum. On our way there we took an escalator and she was maybe 3 steps behind me and we were talking. All of a sudden she went quiet. So I turned around and a very haggard man had run up the escalator to her and was grabbing her arm what looked like very tightly. I said, "She is fine and she is with me" and pulled my cellphone out just incase. Maybe 5 seconds later this guy let go of her. We get to the top of the escalator and the guy very drunk sounding tells a police woman that he is "looking for a new wife". That action linked with those thoughts/words was very troublesome indeed for me. Maybe nothing would have happened but it was all bad vibes. I don't know, but I wasn't willing to assume that this strange drunk at mid-day guy had good intentions for my friend.

On our way to the museum we got very lost and some nice people helped us to find our way. We went to the museum and had a great time and didn't let the incident phase us. So there's balance. There are creepy bad people(in this story 1), people happy to help(in this story at least 3), and people who just didn't care we existed (maybe 300 it was a city). If we would have still went to the museum with our 'people are out to get us' mentality it would have totally sucked and we might as well of stayed at home. Instead we stuck together, worked our way through the situation, and had a good time.

It's a difficult balancing act. The advice I just gave via the story is something I am still trying to follow and largely failing. I just figured I'd share it anyways.

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Instead we stuck together, worked our way through the situation, and had a good time.

Thanks for sharing your story.  I think it always helps if people are in pairs (or groups).  ie, if you hadn't been with the woman, who knows what would have happened.  I would have done the same thing if I was in your shoes.  It wouldn't have prevented me from going to the museum because I was with someone.  If I was not with someone in a city where I didn't know the place like the back of my hand, I would have probably left because the whole time all I'd be thinking is 'I can't wait to get home,' and I wouldn't have had a good time.

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@ RTR: scary! Glad you were there.

People really do sometimes have bad intentions, but in that story there was one bad guy, 3 -active- good people, lots of either indifferent or ( more likely! ) scared people.

Note that I said -active- good people.


There's that bystander's effect, and there's freezing in fear, too.

A lot of people freeze when shit goes down.  I have, it's REALLY annoying.  I now actively fight the freeze when it occurs.

...I think the OP is looking for a good heuristic set with which to judge people's intent...but he's seized on ANYONE showing interest in him as a likely threat?

If someone's nice, it feels threatening to him, basically?

...alright, I apologize for butting in, this is not my forum, I am bowing out.  Feel free to disregard my thinks as irrelevant.



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