Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

  • 4 weeks later...

Good, I am going to wait another three months before dating as I have a possible meds change and some therapy coming up which could both make me a bit difficult to live with and not a nice date, lol. There is someone who says that they're interested but they blow hot and cold, so I am leaving them to it, they know where I am if they want me! I find that last one hard to do but I need to guard my heart and not let my guard down totally in BPD style!

Moving sounds great, I wish I had a place of my own. I have much fun imagining my perfect house, where it would be, how I would decorate it, all that kind of thing.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Well, things here are ok, sort of.

Yesterday I told off a woman and her estranged husband for not taking care of their 16 & 14 year old daughters, leaving them alone and the 14 yr old is out and about at night and smoking dope and whatever else. I was so pissed off. Very self-righteous and insulting to the mom.

I am not supposed to do that. she p[honed my boss and told about how I was. Then boss and other b oss had me come in and talk with them. I pretty much was neutral about it and said, yes, I had scolded themĀ  for not taking care that their daughters were safe.

Actually my adrenaline was off the charts.

A woman I worked with earlier in the day had seemed so ok. Five minutes after she left I got a phone call from her Dr.'s office that she was trying to get her xanax filled over there, while she already had filled it! And they wanted to know what was up; I told them to call her husband since she is an addict and he would take care of her. She has three young children. She is psychotic without her med concktail, but taking tons of xanax is not good. Or she is stockpiling to do a suicide and into the hospital again. My heart sank after talking with the pdoc; no wonder she looked good, she was stoned on xanax!

So the upshot is that my "family of origin" issues/problems are triggered big time. About moms not taking care of helpless children, and the moms not seeing imminent danger. The truth of the two moms amplified a bunch due to my history. Thought I dealt with all that with emdr and such.

I'm hoping not to get fired. I'll just have to tell bosses that yes, I over reacted, was self-righteous and made several mistakes, and make whatever amends I can.

I did phone the 1st mom this a.m. and tell her I was sorry not to recognize/give feedback about the many efforts she has made on behalf of her daughter whom I can tell she loves very much and cares for very much. She said, I'll have to call you back, sounding a little taken aback that I called her. She had planned I guess to go and complain to my boss.

So I have to just lay it out to bosses, that I messed up, made amends, won't do it again. Partly the lamictal is too energizing for me...I'm just too "out there." that's my excuse, anyway. I'm embarassed that my crummy issues and I just got carried away. I let myself get carried away. And it's also very strong since my sister's daughter is no doubt deceased, another mom who did not keep her child safe. I hope I don't get fired. But if I do, it will be so. And I'll deal with what comes next.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...