ananke Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 So.. friend did two particularly shitty things tonight. First, she mentions that I'm gay in front of a whole bunch of other friends and my brother (none of whom know I'm bi. She wasn't even accurate about what kind of not-heterosexual I am...). Then she tags me on my old facebook page. The one I was stalked on, which I only keep because there are tons of messages from my ex which I want to keep in case I need them. I have said to my friends repeatedly, don't tag me on facebook. Everyone knows this. I send her a message explaining why I'm pissed. She apologised for outing me, but was angry at me for being mad about being tagged. I think she thought I just didn't want to be associated with alcohol or something? Or that I was worried about my reputation? I'm worried that my ex will start harassing me or my friends again, something I have a lot of experience with. I got fucking PTSD from being stalked! She's angry at me for trying to protect myself! Apparently this isn't a discussion we can have now because she's been drinking. This week has been a boundary-breaking nightmare... how am I meant to believe people are trustworthy when they feel entitled to spread incredibly private personal information about me everywhere? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintalto Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 (edited) I would suggest, with your old Facebook (if you don't delete it outright), to turn off tagging. This way no one can tag you in any picture without you okaying it. I was obsessed with privacy settings when I had Facebook because they kept changing things and adding things seemingly every month or so. I had to keep going to turn off all the new settings to keep on top of my tenuous privacy. Tagging was one of those things I just wanted no part of. If you can, just go into your privacy settings and get rid of anything that you can that would allow you to be tracked by others or to have info sold off to third parties etc.. If I recall correctly, they are very smart about this and put half of these kinds of settings in privacy, and half of them under another, harder to find area so you have to go to two places to really see everything they are doing with your account. Edited September 1, 2015 by saintalto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ananke Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 My old facebook page is a bit of a dilemma. I won't get rid of it because it contains a lot of evidence, but I made my friend log in for me and change the password when shit went down a few years ago. Only now said friend can't remember the password, and although I'm sure I could easily get them to send me a new one, I absolutely cannot log in to that facebook account myself. Just getting the occasional email update sucks. It'd be trigger central. I've done all the data tracking stuff and privacy settings I can find. But my ex is wily and has made false accounts and followed my friends on that (not on facebook as far as I know, but on other social media).My chest is killing me at the moment. I wish I could hurry up and have this panic attack because I can't sleep with the pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintalto Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 When you delete your Facebook, you are given the option to download all the data and history on it. Everything you ever posted, or that people posted to you is archived. You can keep that as evidence without having to have an active account.Your ex sounds terrifying. I'm sorry you are going through that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ananke Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 I have no idea how to do that. To be honest, I think I'd still keep it. Having the words isn't enough. I need to know that they were sent by my ex, written by them. Don't know if that makes sense?It is terrifying. It sucks but what can really be done at this point Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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