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Everyone must always be cool to me.  In other words, I must always get a good vibe from them.  If they show a bad attitude towards me and show scorn and/or detest towards me, then they die.  I don't care who they are and I don't care what situation it is.  Even if it is a situation that others would deem as very minor such as getting in an argument with someone.  As long as they give off a loathsome bad vibe to me through their display of scorn, frown, and detest towards me, then they all die by my hands.  The fact is, I do not put up with any problems.  So not only must people always be cool to me, but this life itself must always be cool to me as well and not give me any problems.  Otherwise, that will make me psychotically enraged.  If my own brain gives me problems of depression and anhedonia (absence of all my pleasant feelings/emotions), then I die.  I will become ruthless, fierce, and take my own life right then and there just as how I would also become ruthless and fierce towards other people who give me problems.  But the moment this life and people no longer give me problems is the moment that everything returns back to normal.  Everything would all immediately return back to a normal good vibe to me once again.  

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Matt, I need to point out to you how incredibly unlikely it is that all of life will be always be cool to you. In fact, it's a total impossibility. So you need to think of some strategy for coping with the almost daily uncoolness of life and the people you'll meet (not all of them by any means, but into any life some uncool people will fall) that does not entail either suicide or homicide. For this I suggest regular and honest visits to a competent therapist, and a rethinking of your med regime.

You are clearly not doing well. Contact your doctors for an improvement in your life.

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Are you familiar with the concepts of "all-or-nothing," or "black-and-white thinking," as well as the concept of splitting in psychology?  These sound like things that may be beneficial for you to research, as ambiguity/ambivalence doesn't seem to be your thing.  

Edited by koa
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Dude, get fucked.

Come and get me.  How much time do I have left to make out my will?  I've been passively suicidal for 25 years.  This could be fun. 

Seriously, I fucked your mom last night.  She overcharged me.

PM me and and I'll send you my address and the exact hours I'll be home.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Velvet Elvis
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Matt, get help. Please. You don't want to ruin your life by doing anything rash. Call your doctor. I know you have said that you have a therapist, so call your therapist too. Reach out before you end up in a very bad place.

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Dude, get fucked.

Come and get me.  How much time do I have left to make out my will?  I've been passively suicidal for 25 years.  This could be fun.

Seriously, I fucked your mom last night.  She overcharged me.

PM me and and I'll send you my address and the exact hours I'll be home.

 

 

 

 

What the fuck?

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Matt, get help. Please. You don't want to ruin your life by doing anything rash. Call your doctor. I know you have said that you have a therapist, so call your therapist too. Reach out before you end up in a very bad place.

I'm not really going to go through with this.  It's just that my good moods are the one and only things that can give my family, my life, and my goals/dreams good meaning to me.  I cannot experience my good moods (pleasant feelings/emotions) since I have a chronic 24/7 absence of all my pleasant feelings/emotions (anhedonia) as well as depression.  I have this highly gifted composing talent due to my autism.  So me being a composer is the absolute grand moment of my life.  The only thing that can give good meaning to that is my good moods.  If I am anhedonic and depressed, then it has no good meaning to me whatsoever.  Since my good moods are the one and only things that can give my life good meaning, then for me to lose them would drive me to a killing psychotic rage.

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Matt, what are you currently being treated for? If you're on meds that are causing your anhedonia, you should talk to your pdoc about tweaking them so that you feel better.

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Matt, what are you currently being treated for? If you're on meds that are causing your anhedonia, you should talk to your pdoc about tweaking them so that you feel better.

I am being treated for my anhedonia and depression.  I was also diagnosed with schizophrenia and am being treated for that, too.  But I can't be too sure at all if I really have schizophrenia or not.  Also, my anhedonia was not caused by any meds.  It was caused by these phobias of mine.  Therefore, if I were to somehow completely rid of these phobias that are a part of my constant 24/7 daily life, then I am really thinking here that would bring my full pleasant feelings/emotions back to me.  So with that being said, is there any place you can go to and have your phobia cured in a session or two?  I heard that phobias are the most easily treatable in the world of mental health.  So that is why I am wondering if there is some "quick cure" for them.  I have, in fact, heard people say that they overcome their phobias in an instant.  So I am also wondering if the same thing will apply to me.

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FWIW, I don't think (IMO) there is a "quick cure" for most things in life. 

The people who "overcame their phobias in an instant" ... could you get more details from them about how they did it?  Maybe that would help you do the same thing.

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FWIW, I don't think (IMO) there is a "quick cure" for most things in life. 

The people who "overcame their phobias in an instant" ... could you get more details from them about how they did it?  Maybe that would help you do the same thing.

Well, you hear things like hypnotherapy.  There are places for hypnotherapy in which people are claimed to have gone in, gone through a session, and had their phobias cured.

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I think the most common form of therapy used for the treatment of phobias is exposure therapy. It's not necessarily quick, but when you've given it time to work, I believe it's quite effective.

Matt, do you see a counselor/therapist who has specialized training dealing with Autistic people?

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Matt despite your threatening post I image that you want healing.  My best advice to you is to be cool and ppl will be cool towards you.  Learn to go with the flow, make this your, mantra and ppl will be "cool" with you...ok.  Best of luck on your healing Matt.

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