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I liked this thread.  I was going to bump it up, but thought I should just start a new one. 

- Positive people piss me off and yet I wish I was one of them.

- I know I do better sober and yet I don't want to be sober.

- My belly is getting to the point where it is starting to fold over on itself.

- I can't help but sleep 12 hours a night.

- My solution to my loneliness is to isolate myself.  (duh)

- I secretly don't want to get better.  I just want it to end. 

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I liked this thread.  I was going to bump it up, but thought I should just start a new one. 

- Positive people piss me off and yet I wish I was one of them.

- I know I do better sober and yet I don't want to be sober.

- My belly is getting to the point where it is starting to fold over on itself.

- I can't help but sleep 12 hours a night.

- My solution to my loneliness is to isolate myself.  (duh)

- I secretly don't want to get better.  I just want it to end.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hmm, okay. my belly folded over on itself at some point in the past that i don't remember. i work now to try to unfold my tum. i was making progress but then i slipped and stopped getting exercise. and the fold grew. and that has become a huge thing for me. not the fold so much as the losing the weight because i want to feel attractive again. i think it is possible for a part of me to acknowledge that because i loathe the weight i've put back on.

i can't sleep well at all at night unless i take my seroquel. positive people mystify me. and i too isolate myself. inside my head. yeah i might seem social when i'm at work, but no way. the sense of isolation i feel inside is absolute.

what is better? i do not truly think that things will get better. i think things will get worse. in some ways the awefulness of the past year could not be improved upon. but i bet other things could be worse. so yeah. go that point.

sorry, what was the question? honest. i forgot. reasons i don't expect betterness?

grouse.

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Positive people piss me off and I am glad I am not one of them.

I am lonely but I can't stand to be around people.

I want to feel better, but I don't know what better is.

I tell others here that things will improve even though I don't believe it.

I just plain suck.

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