I've seen dozens of therapists for 20+ years, it feels totally counter-productive at this point (at least for chronic depression). I always end up feeling worse (before session and after session)....I've read most of the books they suggest, tried all the CBT, DBT, Mindfulness....Longterm therapy is also a huge financial burden.
I'm feeling really done with processing shit, repeating stuff over & over. All the talking and tracking moods makes me much more self-absorbed than I already am. Then nothing really changes!!! Despite my efforts.
Meds are not helping either, so I feel like a hopeless case. Maybe I just stick to the emotionally numbing meds and just accept that this is my life and I can't change?
What are your experiences?
I regret not dropping this tdoc after the 2nd session. There are great therapists and terrible ones....just because they have a PhD and experience, doesn't make them brilliant or amazing. Who's on your bad therapist list? The patronizing, blaming, insensitive ones? Or ones that don't listen, understand, or communicate clearly? They make assumptions, judgements, no clue.
I kept my cool, dignity and respect, despite getting shut down with an earful of patronizing comments (obviously trying to trigger me or chase me out of the clinic, one of the two). Invalid assumptions about me, none of which resonated at all, not true to my experience and dude left me no space to interject. Simply expressing disagreement with him means I'm "oppositional" Hmm. OK.
2nd session was told I have a "lack of commitment and effort" toward my mental health. How insulting, great. Are you f&cking kidding me? 20 years of therapy, loads of self-help, discipline, hospitalizations, med compliant, healthy lifestyle. I've DONE a lot of work. Stuck with all therapists consistently. I keep going and continue to try. WHY ELSE WOULD I PAY AND COME SEE YOU 6 TIMES?
The reply....."(gives exaggerated sigh) Obviously, you've never had any therapists that have challenged you before, they probably let you talk... this is why you haven't recovered. I'm experienced, LOADS of my clients fully recover in 3-6 months" How presumptuous, you know nothing of my previous therapists or me yet, maybe I'm not like "all your clients." 🙄
[Edit : Endnote] The session ended on a most dis-empowering note. He said (with a pity look in eyes) "Maybe you won't and can't get any better, or change, maybe you should give up, you shouldn't even try...." I have never in my life had a therapist encourage me to give up and not try.
In fact, that comment is exactly what pushes a vulnerable client AWAY from seeking help. A client like me, who has struggled with decades of hopelessness. Thanks for nothing insensitive asshat.
Many ways to lose a therapy client. End of Rant.
I wonder if I have too high expectations, am jaded or a hopeless case. But I've only had 1 Therapist in 20+ years of regular therapy that I felt was pretty decent, who helped me progress & feel better (and I've seen at least 15).
Beyond obvious traits like: good listener, observant, empathetic, caring, dedicated, positive, clear communicator, transparent, proactive, validating, non-judgemental, intelligent (and someone who simply just understands & "gets" you.) Nobody's perfect, but..
What other traits, qualities, behaviors make a great therapist? Have you ever had one that totally meets your criteria? I am so sick of settling and trying to find someone who can really help me. I give everyone like 4-5 session trial at least. Maybe I just need to quit altogether, go at it alone and try harder to help myself 😢
How much time do you spend online per day (specifically on Social media, texting, chat boards or forums)? Is the majority of your socializing online (or is it equal to in-person)? Are you "screen addicted"?
With chronic dysthymia and anhedonia, I can't maintain enjoyment in hobbies or concentrate a lot on books. TV holds no interest. I've realized I have little desire to socialize in real life anymore....I just don't enjoy it and I avoid it. Feels like a hassle, I must psych myself up, get dressed, put on a smile, and all of it seems pointless. All people do now anyway is meet up for dinner & drinks (booze), take a few selfies and look at their screens half the time anyway.
So I just scroll endlessly, observe the lives of others, skimming an article here & there (which I'll forget the content in 10 minutes) and passively scan through commentary - for HOURS. Pretty sad, but maybe this is normal nowadays? Seems like a waste of life.
My new therapist recommended another therapist that deals with PTSD and other issues. PTSD because of loss of many family members. I mentioned to her that I can't recall many memories from my past, let alone a few weeks ago like general conversations. I can't even remember the first time holding either of my daughters. My parents fought a lot when I was younger. I know that it happened, even physical fighting, but can't remember in detail. Willing to pay whatever the cost to find out why I am the way that I am including taking expensive Latuda.
Has anyone had a breakthrough with dealing with their bipolar and depression? Anyone ever get some answers from a professional? I'm worried that if I don't tackle these issues now, how can I be a better parent, a better person or even consider marriage? My boyfriend thankfully is very supportive, but doesn't live with me. I'm tired of the days that I wish my life was over when I am truly blessed or times that I feel my life has slipped on by without any progress.