Negative symptoms are wrecking my life

[Hellbent]

My negative symptoms are wrecking my life. Namely, my aversion/apathy to personal grooming and hygiene.

The only times I ever shower are, well, when my boyfriend's in said shower. I've gone two or three months without washing at all, not even my face. At first I thought that this was depression, but mania doesn't change it. I haven't been declared euthymic by a doc since 2013, and I can believe that I have pretty much been solidly affectively symptomatic for two years or so, so I don't know about that, but I've done a little reading and I'm fairly certain that this is a part of my negative symptoms.

When my greasy hair hangs down into my face, I tend to slick it back with wet wipes, or by spitting on my hand. That's the closest thing to washing I ever do. I don't clean or cut my fingernails or toenails, and I sometimes go long periods without eating. I haven't been for a haircut in a while. Last month I went a little bit over the edge - I have a recurring delusion that my hair is a mass of insects - and cut my hair with a knife, but apart from that it's a shaggy mess. I don't use my eczema treatments, so my skin itches constantly, and I sometimes stay awake scratching it all night. Today my jeans got stuck to an eczema wound. That happens often.

Today I went to my GP about what I thought was a Lamictal rash. Turns out that it's a vast fungal infection that spreads all around my neck and collarbones. The GP suspects that it's spreading to my face. The skin on my face is terribly flaky, that's true to say, and I have dreadful acne. I've been told by family that I make entire rooms smell bad. My boyfriend puts up with the miasma, but he tolerates me more than anyone else could. I went to a friend's house recently and she practically begged me to wash.

What do I do? Why can't I get myself to take care of myself? If I'm not careful, I'll probably drop dead of fungi or bacteria, and, however much I may sometimes want to die, I have a boyfriend, a father, and a brother to stay alive for. I really want to try clozapine, as I've heard it helps with negative symptoms, but I don't see my psych until December.

[Southern Discomfort]

I don't think I've had first hand experience with negative symptoms, I might not have even suffered psychosis so I don't know if I can work like this or not. Have you tried creating a time table of your week, set periods of time where you need to do something like taking a shower and try to do it? Might be worth a try.