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If you can still laugh, you're not broken?


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I sort of have a pun addiction so I'd slightly disagree..I smile and make witty comments..but I'm still melancholy. When I'm alone I cry but when I am around others I make shiity adam sandler quality jokes. It's important for me not to look broken (even if it shows) on the outside. Unconscious psychological projections used as coping mechanisms...is a possibility.

I went 200% Freudian there

It's good to laugh though ..I watched filthy frank yesterday on youtube and that was the best laugh I had in months.

Edited by StJimmy9151
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  • 3 weeks later...

When I thought I was being rolled by my SO and felt like things couldn't get any worse I flipped on the idiot box.  Sat with a blank look and watched the movie "Darwin Awards" where a depressed David Arquett tries to impress his slutty wife by bolting a rocket engine on his shit mobile car.  Anyway he blasts off swerves to miss a car and launches into the air yelling "I Finially did SOMETHING!" then poof his car smashes into a mountain...  It took a few seconds then I smiled.  Then I laughed then I started laughing so hard I literally fell on the floor.   Then I pissed my pants and that made me laugh harder.  

It was pretty stupid to get so worked up about his wife that he blows himself up.  For a few minutes I just didn't give a shit and could laugh at him and my own stupid reaction to the crap people do to each other.   Or to quote myself in a very funny song "You fucked up my entire life so why do you have to ruin my day?"   Maybe that doesn't really have anything to do with it but it IS funny dammit.

Edited by HAL9000
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On 11/16/2015, 5:08:01, Cetkat said:

I just had a therapist tell me that as long as I still have a sense of humor, I haven't lost the best of myself to depression.  Do you think that's true?

Yes. Definitely.

When hubs responds to me in my most depressed state and I can eke out a meager laugh, it is always a good thing.

This is what makes depression so insidious. If you have a broken leg you can still enjoy the sunset or a good joke. When you are depressed, even the sun doesn't help sometimes. But I do find that if I can laugh, then all is not lost. 

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On 11/16/2015 at 4:56 PM, StJimmy9151 said:

I sort of have a pun addiction so I'd slightly disagree..I smile and make witty comments..but I'm still melancholy. When I'm alone I cry but when I am around others I make shiity adam sandler quality jokes. It's important for me not to look broken (even if it shows) on the outside. Unconscious psychological projections used as coping mechanisms...is a possibility.

I went 200% Freudian there

It's good to laugh though ..I watched filthy frank yesterday on youtube and that was the best laugh I had in months.

Yeah.  A big insight for me came in a college psychology class that had to do with serial killers.  It was very interesting.. but one day, we had an actual crime scene investigator come and present info and real photos.  They were half homicide/half-suicide.  He made a joke about one of them (one of the suicides) -- not really funny, but a defense mechanism those in his profession learn.  I was the only one in the class who laughed.

... I had the same defense.

I actually did find it funny - in a bad-joke kind of way.

So it does make me wonder..

 

On 12/7/2015 at 2:19 PM, water said:

Yes. Definitely.

When hubs responds to me in my most depressed state and I can eke out a meager laugh, it is always a good thing.

This is what makes depression so insidious. If you have a broken leg you can still enjoy the sunset or a good joke. When you are depressed, even the sun doesn't help sometimes. But I do find that if I can laugh, then all is not lost. 

Thanks for this.  Sometimes I think I've suffered for so long and so much, that even if everything were to go right... it wouldn't help.  Hope is hard after two decades of empty dreams.

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On 12/7/2015 at 1:06 AM, HAL9000 said:

When I thought I was being rolled (more then I was) by my SO and felt close to as bad as I thought was possible watching the movie "Darwin Awards" where that dumb heat ignites his rocket car...  I was really shocked that te let me laugh

 

My favorite quote from that movie:  "too much satan for one hand! \nnn,,nnn/"

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There are a couple of movies that i can drag out and it doesn't matter that I've seen them.   Repo man 'Radiation Radiation Radiation.  Everybody talks about it like its bad!  Everybody should have 6 or 7 chest Xrays everyday!  Then flash to the next scene where the guy in laying on the sidewalk and two guys in radiation suits and waving geiger counters over him.

Or how about Dr Strangelove.   100 dollars in Russian Rubles.  100 dollars in Gold.  One issue nylon stockings, one issue profa lacktics, 1 45 Automatic with 50 rounds a ammunition "Hell a guy could have  a pretty good time in vegas with all this stuff.

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On 11/16/2015 at 4:08 AM, Cetkat said:

I just had a therapist tell me that as long as I still have a sense of humor, I haven't lost the best of myself to depression.  Do you think that's true?

Hm.  I hope that's true for you; I'm not so sure about me.  If someone observes that I've laughed about something in my life, my reply is, "It's either laugh or cry."

I suppose it depends on how bitter the laughter is, how sardonic, how laced with black irony.

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I very vaguely remember depressive periods but I do remember not being able to smile. At one point I was smoking a lot of weed because I felt unable to feel tolerable without it. I'd feel my lips smile and think... wow, this is amazing, why can't I that do by myself anymore? Wish I could still smoke weed now and then but it started to make me psychotic.

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5 hours ago, Cerberus said:

Hm.  I hope that's true for you; I'm not so sure about me.  If someone observes that I've laughed about something in my life, my reply is, "It's either laugh or cry."

I suppose it depends on how bitter the laughter is, how sardonic, how laced with black irony.

I dated a comedian for a while.  Heck I wrote stuff for her.  The material that "could" be laugh or cry are the very best sort of material.  I think its also (like in a band) perfect when you have people who are either totally into you or totally hate you.  Its when you have people going "I guess they are ok."  Or "They kind of suck."   THATS the kiss of death.

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5 hours ago, jt07 said:

Sometimes I just have to laugh at the absurdity of it all.

^This for me too. 

One example is that sometimes I look at the number of meds I am on, and say to myself seriously?  Then when I tell a DR or someone the number of meds I am on out loud, (which includes the epi-pen, B12 shot, and other things that aren't included in my sig) ... so I hear myself saying the actual number (18 of them), I just look at the other person and have no words for it. I might say, "I know ..." and just laugh a little because being on so many meds is crazy.

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I can still laugh and smile, but it's more of a reflex rather than feeling good. On the outside i might seem perfectly normal because i engage in smiling and laughing with others, but i'm still miserable on the inside. A lot of depressed people still have the ability to laugh, it's a tactic many use to hide their depression from others.

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5 hours ago, J04KlM said:

I can still laugh and smile, but it's more of a reflex rather than feeling good. On the outside i might seem perfectly normal because i engage in smiling and laughing with others, but i'm still miserable on the inside. A lot of depressed people still have the ability to laugh, it's a tactic many use to hide their depression from others.

^^That is a really good point.

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On 12/12/2015 at 10:20 PM, Cerberus said:

Hm.  I hope that's true for you; I'm not so sure about me.  If someone observes that I've laughed about something in my life, my reply is, "It's either laugh or cry."

I suppose it depends on how bitter the laughter is, how sardonic, how laced with black irony.

On 12/12/2015 at 4:11 AM, HAL9000 said:

I dated a comedian for a while.  Heck I wrote stuff for her.  The material that "could" be laugh or cry are the very best sort of material.  I think its also (like in a band) perfect when you have people who are either totally into you or totally hate you.  Its when you have people going "I guess they are ok."  Or "They kind of suck."   THATS the kiss of death.

Yeah, it is a nice hope.. but I am unsure if it's actually accurate.  It seems more like wishful thinking to a point.  ..Besides the fact that you haven't lost resilience.  But resilience and living aren't the same thing.  It really is a laugh or cry senario.  Things so fucked up, it's funny - because it's the only reaction you can muster.

I can still laugh at comedians, though what I like most is snark.

 

On 12/12/2015 at 11:48 PM, jt07 said:

Sometimes I just have to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Not sure that says anything about me though.

On 12/12/2015 at 5:32 AM, melissaw72 said:

^This for me too. 

One example is that sometimes I look at the number of meds I am on, and say to myself seriously?  Then when I tell a DR or someone the number of meds I am on out loud, (which includes the epi-pen, B12 shot, and other things that aren't included in my sig) ... so I hear myself saying the actual number (18 of them), I just look at the other person and have no words for it. I might say, "I know ..." and just laugh a little because being on so many meds is crazy.

Yep.  Exactly.  I've so fucked, it's funny.

I really don't even bother listing my failed meds anymore - which at one time was so many at once, I had a hard time recalling them all when asked.  I just say I've tried everything that has any indication at all for depression.  Most pdocs don't even recognize all of them, and the one that did  (the super-smart drug research type) said I couldn't have possibly have given them all a fair shot -- then he got my records.  And that's how he immediately went to last-ditch MAOI mode & discussing his research into TMS reversing gray matter loss (I can't take Lithium anymore).  <-- Interesting note: It shows promise for Alzheimer's treatment; it's one of his future research goals.

It's good to be able to laugh at it... but it feels like; either you laugh and crack a bit - or don't laugh and crack apart.

 

On 12/12/2015 at 1:40 AM, Hopelessly Broken said:

I can "laugh" but it will never change a thing and definitely not the fact that there was never a best part of me. 

No, it certainly changes nothing about the situation.  For me, there's been a long-term deterioration.. over about 20 years, non-remitting.  IMO, constant depression is a form of torture, and it chips away at you.

 

On 12/14/2015 at 3:59 AM, J04KlM said:

I can still laugh and smile, but it's more of a reflex rather than feeling good. On the outside i might seem perfectly normal because i engage in smiling and laughing with others, but i'm still miserable on the inside. A lot of depressed people still have the ability to laugh, it's a tactic many use to hide their depression from others.

On 12/14/2015 at 9:41 AM, melissaw72 said:

^^That is a really good point.

Agreed.  For me it's more of a sectioning of self.  It takes a lot of energy to shove enough into a corner in my mind to enjoy (outwardly) a situation.  It's not fake, but to a certain extent, it's a public facade/display.

 

On 12/15/2015 at 11:26 PM, Gearhead said:

I can always laugh. I can always make other people laugh. For me it's an indicator of some sort of arcane insanity that's just pushing me further and further. 

That's one thing that worries me, and speaks against this really being true.  There's a fine line between appropriate-yet-inappropriate laughter, and just losing it.

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