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I hate my father


Parto
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I sometimes feel terrible for hating my dad, cuz we're all supposed to love our parents and he's not a physically-abusive dad. But I hate him to the point where I might either kill myself or him. 

He's such a self-centered, irrational, arrogant, boring man no one can tolerate being with. Even his sisters (my aunts) have cut cords and are no longer in touch with him. He thinks he's the smartest person in this world (cuz he's an engineer and believe me, he's not that smart at all) and calls himself the king of the world. He thinks everybody's wrong and needs to be corrected by him. 

He enjoys belittling others, for example he tells me "you don't even know that? You can't drive? What do they teach u at the university then! You don't deserve to be called an engineer" (I'm an engineer btw) or telling my mom that her PhD certificate has to be torn into pieces cuz she doesn't wash the dishes right after the meal. 

He has NO sense of humor AT ALL! How could someone be so dense not understanding jokes or metaphors and still calling himself smartest of all times! And when he doesn't get the joke, he thinks I was teasing him and meant the exact same words, then gets angry and makes such a fuss and yells at me.

He tortures my mom by talking ill behind her family. He know I love my uncles , they're fun and loving and I enjoy spending time with them, but he curses or belittles them . He even calls my grandpa "Asshole" which makes me mad as hell!! And if i tell him not to disrespect them , he gets so jealous and says I'm one of them too. Even when I'm playing with my 1-year-old cousin, he gets soooo jealous looks like he wants to kill my cousin! 

There's not a single day passed without me and my dad getting into a fight. Last time he said he had wasted his money for my living costs and that I'm a shameless cat. He prefers a dog over me. (Just because I told him he was not special and there r millions of engineers out there) . He sweared he would make me desperate. How sweet of him! 

I've thought about moving out several times. But it's not possible for me , since I'm still a student getting my Masters' and I don't have time to work and make money. Thanks to him , I have no self confidence at all and I feel insecure all the time. I've become so aggressive and the smallest things make me mad or upset. (I've got shaky hands recently) .I feel so depressed I don't even feel motivated to do anything. 

I don't know what to do. I really need help! 

(I'm 23 btw) 

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You are being mentally abused. I am so sorry. I hope that you are able to move out soon. Being stuck there sounds like a nightmare and being in constant arguments is draining. Is there anyone you can talk to? Do you think you could possibly live with your uncles of anyone else whom you trust?

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  • 5 months later...

Your male parent and mine must be long lost twins Parto. I hate my male parent so much for mentally abusing me for sixty years that I just reported him to the government for welfare fraud even though he's 95 and in a nursing home. I thouroughly enjoyed doing it too even though it will cost me $$$ when he eventually dies which will be...I hope...in ten seconds time.

10...9...8...

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I really can't stand my mother. She has mostly emotionally abused me, but there was some physical abuse, until I hit back. She doesn't mistreat any of my sisters, and my dad and my sisters all agree there is something wrong. I would really like to cut ties, but my sisters wouldn't talk to me, and I wouldn't be able to see my niece anymore. Right now, we live in Salt Lake City, and my parents live in Pittsburgh, and it still feels too close.

She just turned 75, and has some dementia. They don't know if it's progressive yet, but no one on either side of our family has Alzheimer's. Everyone expected me to be a lot more sympathetic to her, but I just can't. It took me until my 30s to realize that the problem lay with her, not me. Now I feel less harried by her, but I still rarely even phone, and email her about twice a month, making sure to CC my sisters, so no controversies are generated.

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