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Feeling guilty for not getting out


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I often get told to give myself praise for how far I've come in such a short period of time. In the last nine months I've gone from being a recluse, not ever talking to people, possibly psychotic and never going anywhere, to being fairly emotionally stable (at least in comparison), no real active psychotic symptoms - if I did even ever have any- , having two peer support groups I try to go to weekly and I don't live close to a town, and a voluntary job I go to once a week, I did want to work more but that couldn't offer me more hours. But still I battle with the thoughts that if I chose to have a day off from groups I'm somehow not helping myself enough. I guess I'm scared that I'll become lazy if I don't do these things weekly and not breaking the cycle of depressive and anxious thoughts fully. But often I just feel too tired to do the other thing, talking to people, making that thirty minute motorbike journey, dealing with anxiety provoking thoughts. 

I guess I just have to throw myself at my interests, distraction seems to work for me.

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