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Mood is stable but still suffering


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Hi

Does anyone here with bipolar have a stable mood (no hypomania/mania or depression) but still suffering? like isolation and having difficulties socializing and going to work, feeling of loneliness and worrying all the time .I thought of making this thread hoping someone feels the same way I do.

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I have this problem too, and My mood has been stable since April or so. I just have so little motivation to do anything, and I don't want to do much besides going online, watching TV, or sleeping. I chalk it up to having little energy. I'm not sure why that is, but I've tried a number of medications, including stimulants, and nothing has helped so far. Anyway, I have trouble socializing, doing anything productive, and I worry all the time. My biggest accomplishment so far this year has been cleaning out the pantry, and I just did that On Thanksgiving day. If anybody finds a solution to this problem, please let me know.

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I'm literally in the same boat as all of you. I have a stable mood for the most part, but  feeling anywhere near motivated is a chronic issue for me. My whole day gets delayed because I can barely rise up in the morning and start my day. I've also tried stimulants to help me overcome this but I always end up with side effects. I take  nonstimulant now and I mean, it does help me in terms of staying awake but as far as staying motivated I am not quite there yet. Ever since having bipolar disorder, I have never been at the most optimum level of productivity. I just haven't been able to carry out a lot of activities with energy and zest. There is so much to do and to get done and I can barely handle most activities anymore. If there is anything that anyone takes or can suggest, please let me know!

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I'm stable right now and have problems with suffering. My attorney and case manager look at me and say you look so good, wonderful, etc. I say thank you very much I feel great. But that is not the case. I have the same problems you folks do, with lack of motivation, little energy, difficulty attending school, and problems socializing. I have very few friends, and I don't get out of the house enough, I feel secure yet trapped in my house. I miss my mom, I feel like I lost some communication skills, and now I'm not on the same level of thought as other people are. I often have poverty of thought, where I'm just blank all the time. It's truly the most concerning symptom. Please excuse the negative post, but you just can't avoid it sometimes.

 

 

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2 minutes ago, TheWorldAtLarge said:

I'm stable right now and have problems with suffering. My attorney and case manager look at me and say you look so good, wonderful, etc. I say thank you very much I feel great. But that is not the case. I have the same problems you folks do, with lack of motivation, little energy, difficulty attending school, and problems socializing. I have very few friends, and I don't get out of the house enough, I feel secure yet trapped in my house. I miss my mom, I feel like I lost some communication skills, and now I'm not on the same level of thought as other people are. I often have poverty of thought, where I'm just blank all the time. It's truly the most concerning symptom. Please excuse the negative post, but you just can't avoid it sometimes.

 

 

I can relate so much! Tdoc says I look ok and am doing what I should be doing. So things must be perfect right?

I have very little motivation or focus, energy could be better, isolating, wanting to stay inside, feel like I can't communicate what's happening to me, feeling negative, very anxious, somewhat sad, etc. But I'm not in a mood episode.

What is poverty of thought? Basically a blank mind? This is a very concerning thing to me as well! I can't get over how people take thoughts out of other people's minds. It's a form of torture for me. The people who should be caring for me medically are the ones responsible. I'm sorry your mind is blank too. It's very hard to live like this. Very hopeless. 

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Headaches make me suicidal. Having normal sexual urges makes me suicidal. Little challenges in life make me suicidal.

I become suicidal very easily.

 

I am stable according to pdoc. I feel I suffer a lot entallly. I am givin g deep thoughts to get inpatient soon.

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I have felt like that for longer than I remember not. It seems each episode I had, and every big hurt in life, such as brothers tragic deaths, divorce from ex, my car crash: I've become less and less motivated with life.

It's really a struggle for me to go out of the house, to do the things I must. When I do I put up a good front, but want to escape, and thinking about leaving, getting back home the moment I get there. I try to socialize on those times, do well for brief period, then want it to end, and I just stop, and drift away.

Other than my immediate family, I'm no longer close to anyone, and even with them, I need just short times of doing something together, then I need to go be alone.

I wish I was different, I tried many times, and for many people to change; but at this point in time I'm just doing the best I can each day. 

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Just feeling better doesn't mean you are entirely better. You can feel better than you did, and still be pretty depressed. I don't know any of you in person, so who am I to say. But a lot of you sound stable but depressed, not just stable.

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Your dilemna sounds a lot like mine. My mood is somewhat stable but I have a lot of "the world is going to end" anxiety and mixed states. The problem is probably along your lines of stable but wondering if it could be better. My concern is always the risk of trying a new med regimen and losing that stability or sticking with the status quo.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My med regimen - 

aderrall 20mg 1x am

lexapro 10mg 1x am

klonopin as needed .5mg

seroquel XR 150mg pm

vitamin d and light box/am

 

pdoc think it may be bi polar or schizoaffective., or who knows. They tell me it's not a "neat" diagnosis and that frustrates me. I want to know what the hell is going on with me. I am ready for the truth. All of you know what's going on with you and I just get oh here's an article on "seasonal affective disorder". 

 

 They say they want me to get off the adderall eventually, my guess would be in February when next Med check is. In mid/end of nov-dec. bad paranoia and delusions. "Ppl working together to help me" Lack of appetite etc. The rest of the year I feel "normal" happy. They just started on me the antipsychotic about a month ago. It has helped.

 

I am so scared to go off the adderall, I have been on it for 10 plus years. I work a full time job and I have been diagnosed with adhd- inattentive type in the past and also depressive disorder recurrent (a year ago or so) They just will titrate me down from the stimulant.. And up the klonopin is what they say. Should I get a second opinion? 

I need the stimulant so I don't fall asleep, am not a complete slob and can stay semi-organized and kind of stay on top things. I also feel my pdoc beats around the bush.... Umm hello should I be on a mood stabilizer? Can't I be on a mood stabilizer and vyvanse/Ritalin/adderall... Or concerta?? Hello I have been on aderall all my life or majority. 

 

Okay I admit I may be difficult and have just been forthcoming with them but they have not made it easy. I think I need to work with a therapist with more experience. I can handle the truth and now just want to know.I just wish I could find a place where I can find an answer. Better than therapists beating around the bush with me. 

 

But im doing much better than a month ago when I felt like an empty person. I didn't even know who I was. 

 

 

Any responses appreciated !!!! 

 

 

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Yes, I feel the same as you, absolutely. Even at those times between episodes, I have had great difficulty with life in general, especially social aspects, motivation, organization etc.
Another aspect is that unhealthy life circumstances such as social isolation, poverty, disability etc. can cause a kind of exogenous depression, I suppose.

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Yep, having the same issues as everyone else here. I haven't found the panacea yet, but a couple thoughts...

- It does sound like you're depressed. If this is stability for you and especially if you're BP 2, you might just naturally exist at the lower end of the spectrum, in a constant default state of mild depression. I do think you can get to a higher level of functioning, but it might not be through medication. 

- You could have social anxiety, as a couple posters have referred to. I definitely do, but also recognize how important it is to get out of the house. If you don't force yourself to, you can get stuck in a rut very fast. Make some kind of plan for at least an hour every week, with a friend or volunteer work or something. Don't cancel on it if you feel bad. I don't know if you're on any anxiety med like Xanax or Klonopin, but if I'm very anxious about going out, I take one and it helps significantly. I've also drank to deal with this before but I really don't recommend that. Alcohol is destabilizing and not worth the eventual fallout.

- Force yourself to exercise. Even if it's gentle and non-strenuous exercise, forcing yourself to get up and move around will be a distraction and make you feel better mentally and physically. 

- Go easy on yourself. Plan a small vacation, find work that you can handle or start looking for a job that would be less stressful if that's a problem. Take some time off if you need to. Often people have this drive to keep going no matter what until they completely burn out, and it's generally looked down on if you're not constantly busy giving 110%. We're not like that. We can't do that. We have to adjust our expectations of ourselves.

Hopefully some of this helps. It's how I try to manage. Also, I recommend reading Julie Fast's "Get it Done When You're Depressed" as well as some of her other work. It has helped me keep my life afloat when I'm struggling. 

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