Why do you/used to self harm?

[The Right Honourable Jimmy]

For me 50% of the time was like playing Russian roulette by cutting my veins and 50% of the time was a suicide attempt. There was a time when I was manic though that I thought I was immortal and I would burn my hand with [something something] to prove to people that I couldn't feel any pain (and I didn't at the time).

Why do you /used to self harm? Share if you feel comfortable and maybe for positivity's sake tell us what are you doing to manage it or what did you do to manage it. Meds are the best thing for me, when my mood is stable Im SI free with a guarantee.

Edited December 4, 2015 by StJimmy9151
Removed names of tools

[WinterRosie]

Hi Jimmy,

I've edited your post so that it fits into the guidelines for posting here. If you want to make further edits so that it makes more sense then you're free to do so - however, please keep our rules in mind.

Also, it's spelled "roulette."

[Crassansass]

I self harm for Other reasons, mostly because I find certain methods calming; whether I'm having a major breakdown or I feel Hypomanic, SH'ing always brings me back to a base point. That does not mean I condone it but the truth is that is what it does for me; be calming.

[saintalto]

In childhood, it just seemed to happen when things were intense be it at home or at school. I turned on myself during or after particularly difficult moments. I didn't know what to do and I wasn't accustomed to being comforted or hugged so I didn't seek that out. I just hurt myself instead.

As an adult, I utilised it to prevent myself from hurting others or hurting myself in irreversible ways. I chose burning because it didn't risk my life. I have no interest in suicide and I will take any measure to prevent it. I would also self harm to counter urges I had to harm other people violently. The long term issue I encountered was infection and extensive the scarring resulting from those infections. It's nasty.

Edited December 4, 2015 by saintalto

[The Right Honourable Jimmy]

1 hour ago, WinterRosie said:

Hi Jimmy,

I've edited your post so that it fits into the guidelines for posting here. If you want to make further edits so that it makes more sense then you're free to do so - however, please keep our rules in mind.

Also, it's spelled "roulette."

ooops sorry ...I'll be more vigilant next time

I tend to be a bit forgetful sorry

[Gone]

for me reasons have changed over time but at first it was to calm myself down and it also made time feel slower. after that it was comforting, then i felt like i had to or something bad would happen. and after that it went back to just being a comforting habit. 

the thing that has helped me is sleep. the more sleep i get the less likely i am to want to SI

[Wooster]

metered doses to help interrupt crazy cycles of intrusive thoughts and body sensations when the past won't stay in the past and nothing else is helping and I have done as much as I can to distract myself and I'm exhausted

certainly not my preferred strategy, but a last resort

[Unknown Dude]

I self-harm because I believe I don't deserve to live, I use it as a form of punishment. The physical pain makes me forget about my emotional and mental suffering. 

[Rabbit37]

My worst SI tendencies are during horrid mixed states. It felt literally like my brain was full of glass shards, and it's the only thing that would quiet it down. Won't go into details. It helped, at the moment, I'm grateful those periods are far and few between.