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I don’t really have a voice narator, as much as a thought narrator

Like I will be talking to my friends, and I will have an uncontrollable thought that they hate me, that I am not cool, and that I am unworthy of their friendship.

The same thing happens on the chat/forums here, I try to go in but, I automatically have uncontrollable thoughts that tell a narative without a voice, it is like I have two thought processes that are running my one body right now. My regular thoughts like what I am typing right now and my other though. I have tried to make a friendship with my other thought, but he/it/she is not looking out for the best in me.

This may be OCD, Schizophrenia or NOS. I have been diagnosed with all 3. I don’t believe it is the end of the world though, cause I know if I ignore this thought process that is not my own I can really do anything I want to do. It is like having a bad parent tell you that you can’t do this or that or that you are a failure in life, kind of like my parents did.

It also doesn’t help that I am semi-smart, and that I am semi-genious, and that I am totally on planet x right now when it comes to things, so I might sound crazy but, gee maybe it is a good gift to have a second opinion on life. 

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I can’t really hear my thoughts, it is all internal. Maybe you guys have a better skill than I at listening to them? Mine are distinct I can tell whether or not I am thinking or when the other person is thinking.

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Wow ... I didn't know anyone else had a second narration going on in their head.  It is both how you explained and also a narrator for when I am not around people, narrating my thoughts and life. 

With the narration of my life and thoughts, the narrator is just about 100% "friend" compared to the one who cuts me down when I am out with people.  It is nice have the "friend" narrator there because when it is narrating my life, it might take me down another path than I would have never gone.  It's like a second opinion.  Sometimes I'm finding myself thinking to it, asking if I should do something or not, for example, and it is like they are giving me the 2 sides to it, so I make a choice based on that. 

It is hard to write about because it comes completely naturally to me, seeing that it has been happening sine the hallucinations started (in 2002).  The hallucinations were at first heard out loud, but over time and on meds, they became quiet so I can think to them now.  It is nice having someone to bounce ideas off of when I need something.

 

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11 hours ago, Dzo said:

I can’t really hear my thoughts, it is all internal. Maybe you guys have a better skill than I at listening to them? Mine are distinct I can tell whether or not I am thinking or when the other person is thinking.

It's all internal for me too.  I hear them inside my head.  If that makes sense.  I think of both of my narrations as me, or I know they are, but I can't control what the mean one says, so how I know it's me I don't know, but I've always thought that.  Once I had a third voice that wasn't me start talking (well, it said one thing) while the other two were fighting.  

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27 minutes ago, jarn said:

It's all internal for me too.  I hear them inside my head.  If that makes sense.

I have quite similar to this. It drives me up the wall I'm already seeing/hearing/experiencing my day. Why do I also need to hear it being narrated? I know why it happens (to tell the others) but it's maddeningly distracting.

I know that that's not helpful for you to figure out the cause at all, but know that you're not alone.

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My pdoc would say something about neurons misfiring (I think...I don't always understand what he's talking about when he gets into how regions of the brain communicate and what goes wrong.  Neurons misfiring I don't think he's ever said actually).  He would say it's common but not normal.  But I never know if by common he means for everyone or if for the patients he sees.  

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One good thing though is my bad thought narrator is usually correct about shady people, and people who want to take advantage of me. I wish there was a way I could get into my head and make peace with it. I will keep you guys updated on it. I have been having dreams about the stuff it says to me, and I wake up thinking, “Gee this is rediculous”. I know in some therapys if you put a name to your voices/thoughts/narratives they can sometimes be tamed. One example of the dream is a classic this person doesn’t want to play with you because you suck, and when you confront them it is of course not their fault because you did something lol. . . ugh . . . at least I got to hang out in an abandoned warehouse type building.

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I too have a thought narrator and it is always negative. I can give a rough discription of what it is like.

When i am feeding the baby I get "you are going to poison the baby. Then I get the secondry thought "who's gonna poison the baby" Then I get a third thought "He's gonna poison the baby" I then have to convince myself that no one is going to poison the baby.

Hope this makes sense

 

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Yea cheesecake I get the exact thing...

Someone is pissing me off, and it tells me/thinks for me/tries to convince me to harm it, and I battle with it inside. .. . . then finally I usually win and life is good… 

But, I guess others wouldn’t understand the struggle lol.

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4 hours ago, Dzo said:

Yea cheesecake I get the exact thing...

Someone is pissing me off, and it tells me/thinks for me/tries to convince me to harm it, and I battle with it inside. .. . . then finally I usually win and life is good… 

But, I guess others wouldn’t understand the struggle lol.

Is it kind of like when you are with someone and your narrator is thinking bad thoughts to you like to harm that person in some way, but in reality you don't want that to happen?  And then when you leave that person all is good (meaning no narrator giving you bad thoughts about them)?

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Yes but I get it all of the time like when I am making a cup of tea I get full comentary about what i am doing. "he's boiling the kettle" "who's boiling the kettle" "i am boiling the kettle" I get this with nearly everything I do and it gets very tiresome and very distracting.

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3 hours ago, cheesecake said:

Yes but I get it all of the time like when I am making a cup of tea I get full comentary about what i am doing. "he's boiling the kettle" "who's boiling the kettle" "i am boiling the kettle" I get this with nearly everything I do and it gets very tiresome and very distracting.

I get it all the time too ... the full commentary.  Everything included.  Sometimes I feel like I am asking myself the questions and then answering them as well.

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I think to myself that I am typing this comment on Crazyboards. As I start typing the words just flow as I try to make sense of the last two comments on the post.

I get thought naration, but it is wierd because there is not many people with thought narration. I must be weird or maybe I am just crazy :o . 

I think it does have its benefits if you see past the negative thoughts, sometimes the thoughts can be pretty humorous.

-D

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