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AirshipSystem

DID without a traumatic root event?

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Hi all! First time posting and I'm new to the site. I have struggled for large stretches of my life with depression, anxiety, self-harm, trichotillomania (chronic hair pulling-out) etc. In the past couple years I've found an amazing therapist and gotten on Zoloft for depression and Buspar for anxiety. I have a wonderful Spouse, a great job (despite a rough boss,) and a stable home with adorable pets. Overall life is pretty good these days. 

I have around 10 alters. Some have come out of nowhere, some have splintered off from other alters over time. They all basically have jobs: protection, regression, self-soothing, order, fun, sex, etc. I have some lost time and amnesia but overall we're all pretty co-conscious these days, sharing experiences and memories. Mostly. 

I think I'm getting to a point in therapy where I am about to figure out some of the root cause of the DID. I know I was sexually assaulted by another kid (a bully/"friend") at least once when very young, but I don't think I was every assaulted by an adult when I was a child. But my parents moved me and my siblings around A LOT. Like 25 times before I was 16. All over the world. Hotels, relatives' homes, friend's apartments, etc.

Could this lack of consistency, home country, and sense of "home" in general ...BE the root cause for my apparent DID? Could this continued and forced reinvention of identity be the cause of my DID? I don't have an official diagnosis yet due to going to a free clinic, because insurance reasons. But my therapist has said, "unofficially," that I do seem to have DID, and we talk about it all the time.

Did any of you who have DID develop it without a "clear childhood trauma?" 

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I have a lot of traumas and it's hard to say that one, two, or six were worse (or the definitive one) than the others. I suspect that DiD can be cumulative for some folks. That while some people (like the author of I am Eve) can split from one event, that for others it takes a few tries before our brains just go "enough!" and start splitting to cope.

As a general rule DiD is highly individual (I know, it's weird since it's characterized by having individuals) since it's the product of not only our unique experiences but the distinctive ways that we had to respond to those events.

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The event that I tie my DID to does not seem that traumatic to me now as I look back on it, but it really must have freaked me out as a kid - something that terrorized me enough to have to create an inner self-helper to shield me.

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Kids interpret "life-theatening" differently than adults do. After all, if a caregiver leaves a toddler alone for the day it could die. If you're 15 (let alone an adult) who is left alone to the day you see this as a good thing! So what terrifies the toddler with a fear of death may not seem especially upsetting to us... but it can be interpreted as such at the time.

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