Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

I want to start taking my meds again but I'm scared


Recommended Posts

For over a year I've had a paranoid delusion ( well the pdoc, mental health nurses and therapist said it was a paranoid delusion) that the pharmacists were poisoning my meds so I stopped taking them. Don't get me wrong I'm not anti meds not by a long shot but now I'm thinking I need to go back on them as I hate having the constant symptoms but I'm scared to start taking them again because of the poison. I can tell myself that they haven't been poisoned but then I start thinking yes they have and everyone is trying to trick you by saying they aren't because they're in on the conspiracy. It didn't used to be like this. I used to take my meds religiously. This never happened when I was on Zyprexa. I don't think they poisoned those ones only my Risperidone. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Background:  I thought my meds were poisoned with cocaine/PCP, and because I "had" virtual drug screens (by the "people" who I was in contact with ... hallucinations)  I didn't take them.  Then awhile later for some reason I just didn't care about the drug tests anymore, and that if there were drugs found during the urine test, that would be a reality check for me that the "people" were real and were actually putting drugs in my meds.  So I started taking the meds again and when I had a real life urine test it came out clean.

My point is that I stopped taking meds because I thought drugs were in them, then said fuck it and started taking the meds again to get a reality check that the hallucinations were real.  But taking the meds again and coming out with a clean test proved to me it wasn't real about the drugs being in my meds.  I'm not saying to get a urine test, just saying what happened with me.

I hope this helps some.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It seems like the switch may have been a while back--but do you remember why you were switched from zyprexa to risperdal? Because it seems like if this problem only started with the risperdal, maybe a solution would be to talk to your psychiatrist about going back on the zyprexa that you trust better. Obviously another solution is to give risperdal a chance (maybe say commit to taking it for X days and seeing how you feel/what your thoughts are?). But if zyprexa isn't causing the scary thoughts, would taking it help solve the problem?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can relate to this so much. Except that usually when I think my meds are poisoned, I also think they contain a kind of mechanism that will kill me if I stop taking them. So taking them poisons me, and stopping taking them poisons me too. It's related to the thought that the medical institution is controlling me. It's such a scary delusion and I'm sorry that you're experiencing it.

Just a thought: if you're afraid of the risperidone, can you ask your doctor to start you on zyprexa again? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...