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Question and a Concern. 18+?


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Is this board 18+? I remember when I first joined I saw something along those lines and younger people in threads were sometimes turned way.

I ask because there is a 13 year old poster active, and I've seen other teens as well, interacting on the board. I don't have a graphic blog and I don't post graphic things on the forum, but this really makes me feel paranoid because do I really want teenagers, some as young as 13, reading what I'm writing here? I feel free here to talk about distressing things that are sometimes nsfw or kids. What audience am I looking at when I post a new thread here now? 

I'm just worried here and wanting to know what's up with the age limit?

Edited by saintalto
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16 is our official lower limit.  If somebody younger than that can convincingly pass themselves off as an adult, it's "don't ask, don't tell."

I passed myself off as 18 on usenet back before the WWW even existed.  If a 30 year old user acts like a 14 year old, we get rid of them.  If a 14 year old user is mature enough to pass for an adult, we're not going to go looking.  

There's a also the very real issue of adults with DID having underage alters.  Their body might be 30, but it's a 13 year old personality posting here.  What are we supposed to do there?

There have been a number of DID users over the years with different accounts for different personalities.  

 

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On December 31, 2015 at 7:17 AM, Velvet Elvis said:

16 is our official lower limit.  If somebody younger than that can convincingly pass themselves off as an adult, it's "don't ask, don't tell."

I passed myself off as 18 on usenet back before the WWW even existed.  If a 30 year old user acts like a 14 year old, we get rid of them.  If a 14 year old user is mature enough to pass for an adult, we're not going to go looking.  

There's a also the very real issue of adults with DID having underage alters.  Their body might be 30, but it's a 13 year old personality posting here.  What are we supposed to do there?

There have been a number of DID users over the years with different accounts for different personalities.  

 

That makes a lot of sense. I think the person Saint is thinking of seems very mature for their age and is behaving and genuinely seeking help. No reason to turn someone away, just to be as cautious with giving advice as we should be to someone older. :)

Edit: I just realized I may not really know who Saint is talking about. I think my point still stands, though- we're all anonymous here, so you never know, I guess. 

Edited by heilmania
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  • 3 weeks later...

Speaking as someone who has been exploited on the internet I find myself suddenly uncomfortable with the idea of youth being in a space targeting mature people.

It's perhaps an illogical emotion and I'll have to think about it more. But, some of my challenges do have to do with sex, my relationship with other adults and trauma. I feel like youth need support. And also, I don't know if necessarily feel comfortable sharing intense things in life are such a space due to the intricate nature and vulnerability inherent with people growing. Perhaps that's counter intuitive with this being a place for different types of vulnerabilities... But it's a thought. I suppose. And I thought I'd share it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Strange, repeating things earlier said doesn't comfort me.

I was voicing concern about a policy and speaking as one who has been irreparably harmed by similar things. I know what I might do and I am ready to do it. I think a mistake  to be soft spoken about such things.

 

I thought this thread a place to share my feelings on it. My intention wasn't to ask what am I to do. But instead to have conversation about the topic at large.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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36 minutes ago, real-dreamer said:

Strange, repeating things earlier said doesn't comfort me.

I was voicing concern about a policy and speaking as one who has been irreparably harmed by similar things. I know what I might do and I am ready to do it. I think a mistake  to be soft spoken about such things.

 

I thought this thread a place to share my feelings on it. My intention wasn't to ask what am I to do. But instead to have conversation about the topic at large.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I believe now a days people or kids in particular lie about there age anyways so how do we really know how old someone is unless we know them personably

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3 hours ago, downanddepressed said:

I believe now a days people or kids in particular lie about there age anyways so how do we really know how old someone is unless we know them personably

So.... certainly that isn't the end all.

 

I get that people lied. I lied about my age all the way into some pretty fucked up shit. I don't know what else to say. Try to make sure spaces are safe? Which I feel like is what people are doing. So... I'unno.

 

Try to be intentional about age and don't simply have it end with, "Kid's'll be kids"

 

 

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1 minute ago, real-dreamer said:

I get that people lied. I lied about my age all the way into some pretty fucked up shit. I don't know what else to say. Try to make sure spaces are safe? Which I feel like is what people are doing. So... I'unno.

 

Try to be intentional about age and don't simply have it end with, "Kid's'll be kids

I understand this but at the end of the day no one really know unless they say it. I feel like If I say something in here I don't care about the age if they are helpful or needing help it is always good to help or get helped

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Yeah...

 

I mean... hrrmph. I'm not saying let's check everyones ID. I'm saying that it would be important for me that people be intentional safe and careful. If that isn't the case I don't know I'd be comfortable.

 

I wasn't looking to exclude anyone. I was trying to communicate the importance of safety and stuff.

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2 minutes ago, real-dreamer said:

I wasn't looking to exclude anyone. I was trying to communicate the importance of safety and stuff

I completely understand that. The more I think about it the more I agree with u about this

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I still feel quite uncomfortable about mingling with kids here. I lied through my teeth when I was a teenager online. This was pretty harmless in a IRC chatroom about Star Wars, but this is a place where people, where adults, share sensitive information targeted at other adults with actual have experience in the big wide world. 

Having teens and kids here is just really disturbing because they are so young, so naive, regardless of their intelligence. If they don't disclose their age, act older, and I probably won't know.. that's not something I can prevent. But I have seen many post by teens talking bout seeing paediatricians and struggles with mom and dad about this that or the other thing. About having trouble at school. Usually this is high school age, but when it comes down to it, it doesn't matter how mature someone is. They are teenagers just out of or perhaps still going through puberty. They are not adults and cannot fully be in guise as such. 

People here share disturbing things about their lives, about their minds. Though I don't really like group therapy myself, such a social situation in real life would never ever include people as young as 13 with adults 2-4 times their age. There are also specialists for kids/teens for good reason. We are all quite vulnerable at that age and it's so easy to be influenced by others who are older than you just so you can be one of the adults. 

I've been thinking on this thread for awhile and I guess this is how I continue to feel. Worried and cautious.

Edited by saintalto
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4 hours ago, real-dreamer said:

Yeah...

 

I mean... hrrmph. I'm not saying let's check everyones ID. I'm saying that it would be important for me that people be intentional safe and careful. If that isn't the case I don't know I'd be comfortable.

 

I wasn't looking to exclude anyone. I was trying to communicate the importance of safety and stuff.

Can you link to a problematic example around these parts? Or is this a general comment about the internet on the whole?

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No, my intention wasn't to report or talk around something I felt ought to be reported. I saw this topic and felt strongly about it. I feel like having a conversation like this now beats having a conversation about this after something happens.

 

I apologize if I've come across sideways or if all of this appears unnecessary and frustrating.

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It's niether unnecessary, frustrating, nor sideways. I just tend to be super solutions-oriented and don't really understand how to best address your concerns. Maybe that isn't what you're looking for and you'd rather vent. Idk.

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