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new years alone


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anyone else watching the twilight zone marathon?

my bf just left for the party i was going to go to but i did not.

i cant go

i just cant

am i the only one on crazy boards who ended up staying home alone?

all my friends are on the east coast

i moved out to the west coast

and i am slowly weening my way away from everyone 

i feel lonley

but pathetic

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Did you ever hear you could be in a room full of laughing people and feel alone??

I am in a house with 4 other people and may as well be a stadium full.. I feel lonely and sad.. That is what we are. I think I was hopeful once or twice in my life for the new year,,, I am not the one to cheer you up .. from me to you  -- lets hope  for the best we can get for the new year DEAL?  Frosty..

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frosty i know how you feel

thats why i have avoided many social scenarios

when i was good at the social scene i had my best friend with me but she is gone

a book that has helped me is paulo coelhos "veronika decides to die" 

it is a book about a girl who is so lonely and feels nothing and decides to kill herself

unsucessful she is admited to the hospital

at the hospital she is cut off from society...... slowly somehow she discovers the preciousness of time and the "now" i once appreciated the now...

i dont know how i lost it

we have to appreciate the moment

for we will never get it back

and we will die one day

and i want to die knowing i had lived

not just alone in my apartment

but the things that matter

relationships with others

but why are they so hard

now i am teary eyed

and i want to die

i could die now, and be okay because up to i was 18 i lived a great life, i will be 23 in june and i feel like i am already dead, because i do not embrace life in the now

i dont know how to get that passion back

but i guess that is a lesson in life

i love to love my boyfriend, but i need friends, i dont have any

and that is eating away at my identity and existence, for you can only spend so much time on your own.

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Did you ever hear you could be in a room full of laughing people and feel alone??

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

or as t.s. eliot said, television is the only way 3 million people can all laugh at the same joke, and still feel lonely.  something along those lines.

yeah, i spent new years eve alone, and it really sucked.  i think i was watching vh1's 'i love the _____'s'  marathon instead, i can't even remember which decade.

the sad thing is i went to notre dame, and i live in phoenix, so there's a ton of people from nd in twon for the fiesta bowl, but i've avoided every single event out of fear and depression.  i couldn't bear the thought of someone asking me what i'm doing, cause its over two and a half years since i graduated and i'm not doing anything.  so that fear keeps me away from interacting with people that might help me.  sigh. 

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the sad thing is i went to notre dame, and i live in phoenix, so there's a ton of people from nd in twon for the fiesta bowl, but i've avoided every single event out of fear and depression.  i couldn't bear the thought of someone asking me what i'm doing, cause its over two and a half years since i graduated and i'm not doing anything.  so that fear keeps me away from interacting with people that might help me.  sigh.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow, you sound just like me dude.  That's my main fear in social situations--being asked "what I'm doing."  I haven't had a job since I became severely depressed, backed out of graduate school and threw my career plans out of the window a couple of years ago.  Have you tried Voc Rehab to get a job?  I signed up with them and find them to be quite helpful.  Of course how helpful they are or whether they will accept you varies greatly from state to state.  What I have found helpful is them, meds that work, and a therapist that comes up with ways for me to gradually face my fears. 

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frosty i know how you feel

thats why i have avoided many social scenarios

when i was good at the social scene i had my best friend with me but she is gone

a book that has helped me is paulo coelhos "veronika decides to die"

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Frosty,

I too was alone,

with

People,

in the room,

more so,

now,that I leave

my home,

to seek

peace.

I hope

We all

Find some

Peace

in this year.

Stasis

BTW,frosty,

gotta get that amour polished,

the squeaking and scrunching

is hard on my ears. ;)

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i spent new years alone. i was fast asleep in the bathtub for the big moment. my seroquel kicked in and i didn't get to bed in time. my family had gone over to my sister's for fun and food but i just can't go to parties. at any time when i'm supposed to be feeling good, i go into a depression.

grouse.

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I spent it alone as well (sort of).  I'd gone to dc to spend the holidays with my fam.  I don't know many people in the city and no one that I wanted to spend time with.  Mostly because everyone else gets drunk and I can't drink any more because of all the meds.  Or at least thats my excuse this time. 

I spent new years watching law and order with my parents downstairs having dinner with thier friends.  I couldn't even manage to stay downstairs for more than 15 minutes at a time

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