SweetFunGirl82 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 hey board to make a long story short my name is AJ err well they are my initials and that is what you will know me by on here! my doctors tell me I'm schizophrenic- with bi polar. I just think I'm a normal girl. I never heard any voices or anything sometimes I CAN hear myself think is that normal or not? othertimes it is totally slient in my head. I'm taking a mood stabilizer depaokote for a mood disorder also Haldol and klonopin for anexity. and a 50mg of squil way to much I know at night in the morning I usually need one or two caffeine pills to wake up more! I was born addicted to caffeine mom was drinking it when she was pregnant with me. I drank the stuff with both my children its my drug of choice! Smiles I am so over protective not to over dose I cannot for the life of me remember what time yesterday morning I took my Depakote if I take it now is it too early I took everything else but Depakote? I feel really lonely because I work from home and don't get out of the house much but church. we goto church on sunday and they serve free coffee I love my church but I want to feel more connected to God and I think that can only come from a personal level anyways I am just looking for a good friend someone I can talk to that also has a bit of depression or possibly someone that just lost their parent. please get back to me as I am really sad I have no one but my hubby and hes just a guy I need at least one girlfriend thanks, AJ ps ive been married 15 years and my hubby is bi polar but he only takes Zoloft is the one that needs to be on some sort of mood stabilizer lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 Hi, AJ, and welcome to CB! We're glad that you joined us. We certainly have a lot of members who suffer from depression, myself included, so you'll be in good company here. I'm sorry that you are feeling depressed. Is your doctor aware that you are feeling depressed? Do you have a therapist you can talk to and confide in to help when things get rough? If you don't have a therapist, I strongly encourage you to try to find one. Anyway welcome again, and I look forward to your posting on the boards! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetFunGirl82 Posted January 3, 2016 Author Share Posted January 3, 2016 thanks for the reply yes I do have a therapist that comes to the house to see me every Friday, my moms funeral was on Friday the 13th talk about having bad luck huh? I work from home when I come throw myself into my work or just chat as a friend online that doenst lea to sex talk. I was a phone sex operator for the past 15 years and that is all guys ever want is to hear me do phone sex I just really want to reach out and not do phone sex anymore but it pays more then any other job ive ever had. I also do customer service and data entry from home. I don't know even with hubby I'm just lonely. feel so alone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern Discomfort Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) I've heard of people hallucinating their own thoughts, as if they can hear it through their ears and it's coming for around them. This can lead to paranoid thoughts like others can hear your thoughts or they're stealing them. It's not the same as hearing your own voice in your head i.e intuition. Like you I don't get out much. Firstly, rarely am I in need of conversing with people and then secondly I get anxious about going places by myself. Since going on medication I have found this strange need to socialise more and I find the amount I currently do isn't sufficient so I can empathise with feeling lonely. Edited January 3, 2016 by Southern Discomfort 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetFunGirl82 Posted January 3, 2016 Author Share Posted January 3, 2016 I added a picture of me and my Mommy back from when I was 12 or 13, the pic was taken in cali its a really old pic but yeah that's just me and my mom. i'll probably have to change it later if I get to sad seeing it, I finally accept her death but she is alive in heaven isn't she I have big questions not one person living on earth has the answers to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 I'm sorry to hear about your mom. That's really tough. I went through it myself not long ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted January 3, 2016 Share Posted January 3, 2016 (edited) Oh, by the way, I forgot, we have a pretty active chat here. Although many topics are discussed, including sex, it is not at the level you are thinking of or are maybe used to. It's designed to help people with real-time peer support. I encourage you to visit the chatroom if you haven't already. Edited January 3, 2016 by jt07 Because English is just too damn hard 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetFunGirl82 Posted January 3, 2016 Author Share Posted January 3, 2016 thanks no I didn't visit the chat room yet but I certainly will now that you told me about it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetFunGirl82 Posted January 3, 2016 Author Share Posted January 3, 2016 I usually don't need others i have a very few close friends but i guess since my mom died 2 years ago i see how short life really is. what can you take with you when you go? nothing really. I hope that she is alive in heaven. i hope there is a god and a heaven in fact i believed in God all my life. but enough about me I'm going to bed will check this board out better in the morning. goodnight all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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