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Mood unstable following accident

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3 weeks ago as I was driving home one night and a dog walked out on to the road in front of me. He was blinded by the car lights and stood in front of me. I could see his eyes but there was no way in the world I could stop. I knew I was going to hit him and the thud still sickens me as I hit him with full force.  

I became hysterical, screaming and crying as I looked for the dog. I found him on the grass on side of road, dead. He was a beautiful black Labrador. I tried to waken him, knowing in my heart he was gone. I went to the nearest house and discovered it was their dog. It was truly an awful situation.

Whilst I am no longer hysterical, a dark cloud hangs over me. I have trouble sleeping, am irritable and lose my temper easily. I am isolating myself a lot and am generally struggling a lot. My head is in a spin and I can't relax. My gp prescribed temazepam shortly after the accident but only gave me 1 week supply. My sleep seems to have got worse over the past few days and at this point I am scared of becoming manic as lack of sleep is a trigger for me.

Not sure what to do as I feel like I am complaining over nothing. On the other hand I don't want to relapse into mania or depression. I have a pdoc appointment in 3 weeks but am thinking of ringing him to see if he can fit me in sooner but don't want to be melodramatic. My mood had already been a bit low before this but this totally threw me in to a spin

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I hit a cat once-there was absolutely nothing I could do, but it still makes my heart hurt every time I think about it. I couldn't even stop, because of the very strange traffic situation, even though I knew which house the cat had come from.

I think you should talk to your tdoc. It will likely help more than getting in early with your pdoc.

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About 13 years ago, I was driving home on a desolate highway, and hit a fox. Didn't see the poor creature til the last second, it was raining, and I had two very young children in the car. Had no ability to stop, back up, and look for it. I felt like crap, still do.

I dunno, pdoc, tdoc, I think just someone that you can talk to.

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

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Thanks everyone for your words of kindness. I still get images of the dog flashing before my eyes and when I do fall asleep I usually dream of the whole thing happening again and jump awake.

Unfortunately I don't have a tdoc. Therapists are fairly thin on the ground, unless I were to go private and I could not afford that. 

However I did contact my pdoc's secretary this evening. He has a cancellation tomorrow so I am going then.

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9 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

That is great there is a cancellation tomorrow with your pdoc!  I hope you are able to talk things out with him.  Do you think he would give you an anti-anxiety med for now (not necessarily forever, just for the time being)?

I saw my pdoc this afternoon. He was great. He was very concerned that I might relapse and wants me to keep a close check on any symptoms and contact him if I feel any worse. I have to take time off work and get plenty of rest and keep away from stimulating situation.  Because my main problem is insomnia he prescribed temazepam 20mg and will see him again next Monday, or before if no improvement.

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12 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I'm glad he really listened to you.  I think it is a good idea to take off work to take care of yourself, getting rest and minimal (or no) stimulating environment.  I hope you start to feel better soon, and that you get some sleep.

Thanks Melissa!

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