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My mom is so insensitive!


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Okay, so today I'm feeling down...it's the new year, it's cold, and I am bored and lonely.  I just wish I could meet a nice guy and that I would be feeling less depressed.  It was just a shitty day.  (I've been having a lot of thes lately.) 

So my mom calls and I am complaining that I am lonely and sad that the boy I've been dating hasn't called me in quite a while and I'm starting to think maybe he's blowing me off.  She proceeds to tell me I wouldn't be so lonely if I had more friends, and "you only have 2 friends from high school" and "hardly any left from college" etc. etc.

She does have a point.  Sometimes I do give up on friendships too easily.  But on the other hand, I was very very depressed in high school and college ...I was sleeping all of the time, I was lonely and quite depressed...things were very hard for me!  So it's not like having lots of friends was a possibility or a priority at that time in my life.  The truth is, I would like to have more friends, but depression makes this very difficult because I'm very preoccupied with my feelings of sadness and low self esteem...these not exactly qualities that draw positive people to you!  So I didn't feel it was at all helpful for her to point out that I don't have enough friends when I'm obviously struggling with depression.

Also, I know people who have a lot of friends, and the truth is that many of their friendships are casual and not that meaningful.  Yes, it might be nice to have someone to go out with or call whenever you're bored and lonely, but I really need some substance and depth to my friendships.  I won't keep a friendship unless there is a real connection there and the person is someone I can count on. 

Another comment she made recently was, "What would you do if your ex came back?!" like it was such a fun and cute comment.  Well, this is someone I dated for over 3 years and haven't gotten over years later.  Why did she bring up such a painful subject in a hurtful way?  Chances are he won't be coming back after all of these years, so why bring it up?? 

It's so upsetting when people say such hurtful things under the guise of being "helpful."  Now I'm probably going to spend all evening feeling bad for being so friendless.  (Which is an exaggeration because I do have some friends, although the phone isn't exaclty ringing off the hook.)

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hey sweets...

parents can be "helpful" in soooo many hurtful ways!!!  and what is even more fucked up is that they probably don't even give it another thought when all is said n done!!! ;)

i know it isn't the same but if you just want someone ta listen...you can p.m. me anytime!!!  i suffer from major depression n panic n agoraphobia so i understand all too well how isolating m.i. can be!!!

i'm here if ya need me!!!

good thoughts ta ya hon!!!

flutterfly xo

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