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I'm really depressed after losing my Mom

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I mean she was legally blind my whole life, so my whole life I spent looking after her; anyways the last few years of her life she spent living with her baby sister who is my aunt who was really into drugs. I don't know what happened to mom if my aunt hurt her somehow by accident being too high on something or if she just died in her sleep like they tell me. that's my problem I can hardly ever sleep I got like 6 hours last night due to hubby snoring and it being freezing in this house. I'm 33, but I feel like a teenager with my husband ive been with since I was 19. I just need girlfriends but am super shy. I'm not shy online just in person. how do I open up to people more? I'm on klonopin maybe  I need to take one of those a caffeine pill and go to the mall when I have money to meet new real life friends. anyone wanna be email buddys let me know. girls only please as I'm married and guys are always just horny well from my experience anyways sorry I used to work in the adult field.



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