Or gay in the mountains, or country-queer, or whatev term happens to catch your fancy. Mostly we just don't discuss it unless we're at a gay bar, a Pride event, with family, or trying to get ourselves killed. I'm one of the latter ones who walks around with emblems shaved into my head (though they're so esoteric no-one knows WTF they mean- a comet for being NONBINARY and a circle for being ACE) and sporting a plaid scarf with a rainbow pattern stripe. A friend wryly inquired if I were TRYING to get the Westboro Baptist Church to show up and picket my individual dwelling? I replied with a poker face that indeed that WAS my aim. Lol. I have been known to rail against the local many tentacled healthcare system here in SWVA (Ballad), but the one GOOD thing that it has done is to (inexplicably) give all patients in ALL of its facilities a surprisingly wide options of gender and sexual identifiers. Knock me over with a feather, you could. AND they insist that their doctors call patients by their preferred pronouns and gender when addressing them in session and writing up reports. So one good thing. But one reason I have for being open and transparent about who and what I am is this: I figure that a lot of people have never MET anyone (that they know of) who is LGBTQ. So if they regularly see someone who is a neighbor, a fellow transit rider, an active community member who does things like help them get their groceries in the car, pay their bus fare if they don't have correct change, shop at the farmer's market, walk my dog...i.e. be a normal (and nice) human being, then MAYBE they'll think twice when they hear FOX NEWS or read a FB post demonizing "the gays" or hate speech about trans folk. They MIGHT stop and think, "Hey, they are talking about K-! And that's not right!" Of course, this has also backfired on me, and I've gotten more careful since the election of Cheeto-Jebus to the WH. But I think it has also made somewhat a difference.
I'm going to see a lawyer tomorrow about disability, and I'm terrified. I don't know what to expect and my anxiety is through the roof. I keep feeling like they are going to laugh at me and think I'm not sick enough. I've had nightmares about it all week, and I keep obsessively thinking about it.
Has anyone else gone through this? What was the meeting like?
Any info or support is welcome.
I really hope this is a good area of the site to put this, sort of a rant, sort of not. But probably, more or less a rant.
Living where I do, it's next to impossible to find a place to rent, a room that is. My boyfriend and I are so limited on funds we wanted to rent a room from someone, so we could start saving for a car and our own place of course. I'm tired of hitting a damn brick wall with everyone though, because it's two of us, and not one a lot of people wanna hike the rent up a couple hundred, not one, not two, but like three, four, maybe possibly more - if you're willing. They wanna charge us BOTH the asking amount, (that'll be 800 for two people. no?) We could get an apartment then, really. Or, today MY favorite, this came out of a lady's mouth,
She asked why I'm on disability, because I disclose that I get SSI and what he does for work so people know we're stable (sort of, he gets commission, and only half, in a small shitty town, but my check is of course stable.) and I told her because I'm mentally ill. I DIDN'T disclose my BPD, just my GAD and depression disorder. She had the balls to tell me, "you sound pretty intelligent for some on disability, I DON'T GET THAT MUCH FROM THOSE WHO ARE."
A fair amount of people with mental illness are highly intelligent - and creative, talented individuals. Even those with autism have high IQs, if I'm not mistaken? Correct me if i'm wrong please. Just because someone has a mental disorder/disability doesn't make them an idiot. Being an idiot, MAKES YOU AN IDIOT. I told her I graduated high school at 16, with honors, not because I was pregnant or at risk, and was going to join the Army but couldn't because I'm mentally ill. I started college at 17 pursuing my teaching degree, and a minor in CPS type social work when I get to university but had to put it on hold from lack of money to pay for it.
Am I common sense smart? Not really. Am I book smart? I would like to think so, really. I did pretty well in school, minus math classes. Everyone has that one subject they suck at, but I excelled in history and english subjects.
I just felt like that was much, she did state she's had roommates who were also on disability, but they were older, so I'm assuming SSDI and not SSI?
*No one* wants someone with a disability to be a - LIABILITY, either, she also said. That and because my boyfriend and I've not been together longer than four months which is slightly understandable, but because I'm disabled. You're shitting me, dude.
We don't want to rent an apartment outright because again, trying to save for a vehicle. I wanna work again, I don't like sitting at home trust me I don't, but it's not easy without a car. so many places want someone with open availability, and with my lack of "stable employment" I need more yays than nays if that makes sense.
Has anyone else dealt with this sort of bullshit? Don't try to relate if you don't get it, seriously. not anyone who was gonna comment, but to that lady. I can't stand people who do that shit, drives me nuts. More than I am. Lol.
I have been working with my mental health clinic with depot injections of my risperdal and Testosterone and an injection of naltrexlone. I have been on these meds for a year now and am actually stable except for thoughts of self harm. I want to start self injecting to build up more T in my system. I also have some small impulses to inject bleach, paint thinner, gas and other stuff with the syringes the pharmacy would provide. I really want to self regulate my T because I feel like I am not in control of anything. I used to skip meds a lot and can't do that either and to be honest I don't like being stable. I am bored even though I know this is going to allow me to date, perhaps marry, travel, work and what not. I also have urges to self harm when I feel empty, bored and alone. I am also trying to control my drinking and I know I need the meds to be injected and am doing well because they are. But the desire to inject more T to feel powerful and strong and horny and they added benefit to inject to self harm ( though in small amounts ) has to deal with control and some sort of substance abuse. Transguys any thoughts?