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I don't think I've intro'ed, but I might have. My brain doesn't always act like I'd like. They tell me I'm intelligent, and I'm inclined to disbelieve.

I'm a long-time internet help searcher, because I hate going out into the world, though I've recently found a t I like very much (been with her about 2 years now, I think, but the time thing went with the memory and the ability to sanely leave the house during daylight hours). I'm, I guess BPII; they don't like to tell me these things. I don't do the meds thing now...tried it for years, but it didn't really agree with me; I hallucinate on most meds. The going theory is that I'm allergic to the 21st century. I guess PTSD is another thing to throw in there, though they've not told me that, either, only discussed it at greater length than would be necessary for my own edification if I wasn't dx'ed.  cut, sometimes, or mostly now just fight the urge to do so. I'm (practically) married to the woman of my dreams. She's OCD, I'm anal-expulsive; it works out great, most of the time.

Hrm, non-craziness...I'm a herper (yes, I play with the snakes...clicks tongue, Hannibal-Lecter-style) and a writer (but I suck) with no self-esteem and a penchance for exaggeration and understatement when it suits. Night Listener...Maupin...I jewel the elephants when it suits. So I don't know what's real, what's not. I actually live in the Matrix. I sleep when it suits; rarely. II work at a job that most disapprove of because it's the only way I feel good about myself. I'm a contradictory mess in every sense. Social skills are not my forte. And that's the sane bit of  me ;) Oh...I'm prone to pithy allusions when my own words fail me.

Otherwise...I'm a 25 year old with the attitude of a child and the mind of a 75 year old. BP, PTSD are my problems, throwing in a mix of (possibly due to PTSD) anxiety issues to round me out.

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I don't think I've intro'ed, but I might have. My brain doesn't always act like I'd like. They tell me I'm intelligent, and I'm inclined to disbelieve.

I'm a long-time internet help searcher, because I hate going out into the world, though I've recently found a t I like very much (been with her about 2 years now, I think, but the time thing went with the memory and the ability to sanely leave the house during daylight hours). I'm, I guess BPII; they don't like to tell me these things. I don't do the meds thing now...tried it for years, but it didn't really agree with me; I hallucinate on most meds. The going theory is that I'm allergic to the 21st century. I guess PTSD is another thing to throw in there, though they've not told me that, either, only discussed it at greater length than would be necessary for my own edification if I wasn't dx'ed.  cut, sometimes, or mostly now just fight the urge to do so. I'm (practically) married to the woman of my dreams. She's OCD, I'm anal-expulsive; it works out great, most of the time.

Hrm, non-craziness...I'm a herper (yes, I play with the snakes...clicks tongue, Hannibal-Lecter-style) and a writer (but I suck) with no self-esteem and a penchance for exaggeration and understatement when it suits. Night Listener...Maupin...I jewel the elephants when it suits. So I don't know what's real, what's not. I actually live in the Matrix. I sleep when it suits; rarely. II work at a job that most disapprove of because it's the only way I feel good about myself. I'm a contradictory mess in every sense. Social skills are not my forte. And that's the sane bit of  me ;) Oh...I'm prone to pithy allusions when my own words fail me.

Otherwise...I'm a 25 year old with the attitude of a child and the mind of a 75 year old. BP, PTSD are my problems, throwing in a mix of (possibly due to PTSD) anxiety issues to round me out.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow! Welcome, you'll fit right here at our little corner of the internet. You will find if you stick around that you share a lot in common with a lot of us. Nothing you said sounds weird to me AT ALL.

I too have sought support forums for various things on the internet, but never found a home for my mental state until I came here. And I have been helped immeasurably.

Stick around, get to know some people.

Suze

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hiya

i have feeling we can relate on a number of levels

keep fighting

keep posting

we like writers who think they are shitty. and nutbars who are not afraid to put voice to the voices or vivid illusions to their hallucinations (or anything mundane) and everything inbetween. i'm not sure anxiety ever rounded me out ;o. more like thinned and strung me out.

so how do you deal with the MI without meds? did paradoxical reactions and/or meds themselves make things worse? like, i mean after you stopped taking em. whats soma them stratergies?

nice to meet you. (i think over on SI board)

will keep eye out for your thread to move to springer, eventually.

pJ

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MI without meds is...interesting. I didn't like the lithium...made me feel like my mind WANTED to cycle, but couldn't, which drove me nuts, control freak that I am. And the Zoloft made me feel like bricks were having lengthy discussions with me. Like pot, but without any benefits. Was on a couple others, occasionally, and never was good with them. Am tempted, sometimes, to crawl into the doc's office and pick some up; have even gone. But have a confounding variable: I'm trying to get pregnant (yes, I'm fully nuts). Doc claims to be able to do pregnant and depressed, or bipolar and not pregnant, but not bipolar pregnant. Teratogens...not as much fun as a gun to the head.

So, I crawl around. I have a REALLY understanding/wonderful partner who helps out much. I have a really understanding work; my immediate boss is VERY ADHD and my overall supervisor is VERY bipolar. Drugs only tone her down. Is rough sometimes; other times, not so bad. Winter is bad. Spring is bad. The rest of the time, I'm pretty much cruising more or less sanely. Helps that I don't go psychotic that often :>

hiya

i have feeling we can relate on a number of levels

keep fighting

keep posting

we like writers who think they are shitty. and nutbars who are not afraid to put voice to the voices or vivid illusions to their hallucinations (or anything mundane) and everything inbetween. i'm not sure anxiety ever rounded me out ;o. more like thinned and strung me out.

so how do you deal with the MI without meds? did paradoxical reactions and/or meds themselves make things worse? like, i mean after you stopped taking em. whats soma them stratergies?

nice to meet you. (i think over on SI board)

will keep eye out for your thread to move to springer, eventually.

pJ

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hrm, non-craziness...I'm a herper (yes, I play with the snakes...clicks tongue, Hannibal-Lecter-style) and a writer (but I suck) with no self-esteem and a penchance for exaggeration and understatement when it suits. Night Listener...Maupin...I jewel the elephants when it suits. So I don't know what's real, what's not. I actually live in the Matrix. I sleep when it suits; rarely. II work at a job that most disapprove of because it's the only way I feel good about myself. I'm a contradictory mess in every sense. Social skills are not my forte. And that's the sane bit of

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