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So, I've sorted through a lot of the 'issues' I've had with how I was thinking before and I think I have a handle on how to live a content life or at least function. I have social anxiety and depression.

I learned how to retrain my way of thinking if that makes sense, so I am hopeful. The thing is, if I have any shade of a doubt about whether I am right or wrong about something than I know the paranoia will just come back later.

Getting to the point. I am occasionally paranoid that people can hear my thoughts. The theory is that the majority of people know about it. maybe everybody can do it, maybe not. Maybe it doesn't happen all of the time, maybe they only hear when they are listening in. They talk about it when they think I can't hear them, or when they think they are being discreet enough that someone as dumb as me won't know what they are talking about. They won't admit to it because it is better if I don't know, like if I do then it will make me feel too self conscious, only make me feel worse and it won't help me any. I do feel like I have evidence of it when I replay some older memories, but I also am rational enough to look for other explanations for the memories, but I don't feel convinced enough that I can let it go. 

I know I should see a doctor, but I don't have medical insurance. so far visiting forums and chatting with people who can relate has helped, so I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on the subject.

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People can read my thoughts but I've thought of a way I can deal with it. I call it the ice -cream strategy. Basically if I notice someone trying to steal the thoughts out of my head I immediately change my thoughts to something really boring like ice - cream flavours. That way if they want to steal such a boring thought I won't be as distressed. Usually works...except when I'm around a lot of people and many of them are trying to steal my thoughts. That's when I get overwhelmed and can't deal with it. 

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Think of your brain as a huge central of everything. Iit has to deal with all kinds of stuff including logic and reason. I think paranoia is your centres of emotions and fantasy is taking over somehow overwhelming the parts dealing with reason and logic. As for mindreading it is ofcourse not possible for most people. Russian and US intelligence agencies has studied this and it is not working very well. That said I've read that on some level 90% of communication is nonverbal, we give away our mood and our intentions with bodylanguage. Its hard to understand the difference for a person who's brains logical parts are disturbed by the parts of emotions and fantasy. For example I thought my dog was doing surveillance on me. It felt very real, and my feelings and intuition convinced my logic and reason it was for real. Clearly the parts of my brain dealing with fantasy and utter imagination was disturbing my parts of logic and reason. So just relax man, kick back, it's all in your imagination. Feels very real, but ofcourse it's not. Let logic and reason rule and you could perhaps get rid of the emotional thought disturbance.

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Actually I think it's similar to those stalkers convinced some moviestar loves them. Its a mind disturbance. Feels very real, but it's not.

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I get this sometimes and when I explained it to my mom she asked me why it mattered because what could I possibly be thinking that would be so bad for other people to know about, ya know? I explained that it felt like a vulnerability thing, like they were intruding on my personal space by capturing my thoughts...she didn't get it. Is it like that for you? That it doesn't matter as much that they know your thoughts themselves but that it is more a feeling of being naked in public? That's what it feels like for me. More an invasion of privacy. Very difficult for me to deal with because I am a very private person to begin with. A lot of my delusions start as feeling an invasion of privacy since it is such a sensitive topic for me. A few months ago there were men working on the roof of my apartment complex and I was sure they were leaking bugs into my apartment that were little bots meant to record me. I was terrified to take a shower or change my clothes until I scoured every corner to make sure there were no bugs. Unfortunately I was hallucinating small bug-like specks that would dart around so I was sure that was really happening. Our mind creates dreams based on the things we are trying to figure out in our life, but a lot of times it's in metaphor...same with psychosis, from what I've found. In psychosis it's like your brain is using the creative metaphor of dreams but you're awake and it continues and builds daily rather than ending when you wake up. If you can't see a psychiatrist then maybe look into Cognitive Behavior Therapy either in self-help books at a library or book store or even online. That can sometimes give you tips on how to retrain your mind. If your thoughts start hindering your functioning in everyday activities like work/school, personal care, social engagement...then please please seek medical treatment. I hope the best for you! Please comment how you've been doing if you see this response -I really care to know and would be happy to keep in contact. Delusional thinking is not something to try dealing with completely alone, ok? :) 

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