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I didn't realize I posted this in the wrong place the first time. oops. I'm not used to forums.

 

So, I've sorted through a lot of the 'issues' I've had with how I was thinking before and I think I have a handle on how to live a content life or at least function. I have social anxiety and depression.

I learned how to retrain my way of thinking if that makes sense, so I am hopeful. The thing is, if I have any shade of a doubt about whether I am right or wrong about something than I know the paranoia will just come back later.

Getting to the point. I am occasionally paranoid that people can hear my thoughts. The theory is that the majority of people know about it. maybe everybody can do it, maybe not. Maybe it doesn't happen all of the time, maybe they only hear when they are listening in. They talk about it when they think I can't hear them, or when they think they are being discreet enough that someone as dumb as me won't know what they are talking about. They won't admit to it because it is better if I don't know, like if I do then it will make me feel too self conscious, only make me feel worse and it won't help me any. I do feel like I have evidence of it when I replay some older memories, but I also am rational enough to look for other explanations for the memories, but I don't feel convinced enough that I can let it go. 

I know I should see a doctor, but I don't have medical insurance. so far visiting forums and chatting with people who can relate has helped, so I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on the subject.

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Hi Megan,

What you are describing sounds like it could be a delusion (false belief about reality, or at least a belief that most people would not endorse given the available evidence). Delusions tend to show up more in psychotic disorders (thought disorders) than in anxiety disorders.

You might find more responses in that forum.

Do you live in the US? If so, you may be eligible for free or very low cost professional assessment and treatment at a community mental health or community health center.

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I just wanted to point out, that thought thing is something I could've written. In my case, it's most certainly a delusion from psychosis. 

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14 hours ago, Wooster said:

Hi Megan,

What you are describing sounds like it could be a delusion (false belief about reality, or at least a belief that most people would not endorse given the available evidence). Delusions tend to show up more in psychotic disorders (thought disorders) than in anxiety disorders.

You might find more responses in that forum.

Do you live in the US? If so, you may be eligible for free or very low cost professional assessment and treatment at a community mental health or community health center.

Thanks, this does help. If it is something as serious as a psychotic disorder, do you know if it is normal to see it this way, like I've always known it is irrational like how the way social anxiety makes me see myself and other people was only an irrational thought pattern.. I'm not sure how to phrase the question actually.. that's why I thought it was just anxiety.

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If you mean, is it possible for it to be a delusion and yet you recognize that it's a problem/not necessarily happening/part of the mental health problems, the answer to that is definitely yes. People have different levels of insight into and awareness of their situation and one level is the "i believe it's happening but I'm worried there might be something wrong about the fact that I believe it's happening."

 

as woo mentioned, there are usually local community mental health clinics or centers that will handle these sorts of issues for people without income or without insurance.

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I feel so confused sometimes. I tried to bring this up with a therapist and she just ignored me. like 'yeah, ok, so you just need confidence..." Half of me feels like people brush me off like that because I'm right and they know it but they just figure it'll be better for me to just forget about it. I didn't tell her everything because I didn't really get a chance to. She just interrupted me and ignored me. It's frustrating, because this still really scares me even though I have more control over my thoughts now. 

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Is there anyway you could get free or low cost psychiatric treatment? I would look on the county level first. If I were having delusions, I would call my pdoc, to be honest.

Other people may have better ideas on how to get low cost care.

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11 hours ago, Megan Lastname said:

I feel so confused sometimes. I tried to bring this up with a therapist and she just ignored me. like 'yeah, ok, so you just need confidence..." Half of me feels like people brush me off like that because I'm right and they know it but they just figure it'll be better for me to just forget about it. I didn't tell her everything because I didn't really get a chance to. She just interrupted me and ignored me. It's frustrating, because this still really scares me even though I have more control over my thoughts now. 

Can you look for another therapist who will treat you with integrity?  It sounds to me that you are miserable with the one your are seeing now. 

Or can you write her a letter, explaining everything you've posted here, and how/why it affects you?  And then make a copy of the letter, and bring in one for your tdoc to read at your next appt.  Is it possible that you both are on a different page and not seeing eye to eye on things?  Maybe she doesn't realize what she is doing.  Not that your thoughts don't count, just another perspective to consider.

Edited by melissaw72

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yeah, you're right (both of you). I was just depressed when I posted that reply. I will have to find a doctor. The therapist I was talking to was someone I had only seen a couple of times

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Can you find a DR/s who will take a sliding scale for payment?

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Maybe. My dad ended up putting me on his insurance recently, so I could probably afford the copay and everything. I'm just not sure I want to go through the same experiences i always had in the past. It's usually just 'everyone feels that way, go out and try things.' Maybe I don't really need it. 

Anyway, thanks

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I'm glad you have insurance now!  I hope things work out for you.

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Megan,

   Sounds like delusions and if your in the U.S. you can aquire obamacare for little to no cost for insurance or just about every state/town has a Family Residency practice who can see you for little to no money and almost 100% of the time a therapist you can talk to :)

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On 5/14/2016 at 0:13 PM, Megan Lastname said:

Maybe. My dad ended up putting me on his insurance recently, so I could probably afford the copay and everything. I'm just not sure I want to go through the same experiences i always had in the past. It's usually just 'everyone feels that way, go out and try things.' Maybe I don't really need it. 

Anyway, thanks

How is it going?  Did you find a pdoc with your insurance?

About not wanting to go through the same experiences you've had in the past, I would at least give (whomever it is) a chance.

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