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Pearly

Is this a bad idea? Am I still vulnerable?

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So I am still talking to someone I came across through a dating app. This is another guy. I told him I have bipolar and he said he's open to being friends. I made a mistake I invited him to my brothers bday party told him it would be an opportunity for him to make frineds. My brother said no after. I want to meet him but wondering if its a bad idea??? I've only just started the meds a week ago.

Edited by Pearly

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So the dating app is a bad idea, at least not to make actual friends. Once you are in a space where you don't introduce yourself strangers by telling them you have bipolar then perhaps. You have a whole heap of interesting things for people to get to know; sure, bipolar is on the list but please, don't make that the definition of who you are.

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I don't know your history with dating apps, but I would say if it is causing you this much worry, then hold off on meeting him.  Once you get used to your new medication you might feel better able to make the decision.  I've found the more caution I exercise when I feel vulnerable and unsure of something the better.

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I don't go on dating apps, but this is similar to that so I will post:

Personally I have a "rule" I go by which is that if I have to think long enough before doing something, then I will either go ahead and get it (if that is what my mind was think about), or not (if what I've been thinking is something I don't want to do).  In the end I go with my gut.

But I wait and think over something for usually 3 days.  And make my decision after that.  Sometimes sleeping on things helps me, (I have a new perspective after I've slept) so I don't make an impulsive decision that I would regret.

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OK, at this point, you are still vulnerable, and I think it's a mistake to start by saying you're bipolar. Why are you doing that, I'd ask yourself. I think it is easier to be a victim if some guys perceive that as a weakness, which it currently is, for you. I've been on dating sites, not apps, but this I know: some are aimed for those looking for love/relationships. Some are aimed for getting sex, and it's usually pretty clear which is which. If you are on one for sex, that's what you'll get. Don't kid yourself that friendship is the goal. The less personal info, like where you live, etc, you give, the safer you'll be. I'm not sure what your goal really is, and I'm not sure if you're clear on that, either. Give the meds more time. Stay off dating sites and apps, especially ones devoted to meeting for sex. There are "safe dating " rules, look into them before you keep giving out personal info and making dates. It's easy to get in over your head. Be careful, slow down. 

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This is a bad idea. Apologize for inviting him without your brother's imput (which you must never do again). Then take the dating app off your phone until you are genuinely stable. Right now you have barely started recovering from your last episode.

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