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So I play cello, and I have for nearly five years. I have played in two solo concerts and several times with an orchestra. My anxiety has been steadily growing worse and I average about one panic attack per week without any stressors but I have a quartet coming up and these freak me out because if I was solo I wouldn't mess anyone else up if I screwed up timing. In an orchestra of twenty or so people, I could sink out of it if I needed to. In a quartet, however, I would screw up the other three players. Even though I play the easiest part, I can't bring myself to even look at the music or else I panic. My mom said I didn't have to do the concert but I had to tell my teacher face to face why. To me, this is nearly as bad as going up in front of all those people because my teacher is amazing and I love her. After my mom said that, I started to panic again, thinking of all the ways it could go wrong. She might not let me be her student as I miss most of the solo concerts. I really scared and this has caused me a sh*t-load of anxiety and panic attacks. What should I say? What should I do? Please help.

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What makes you love your music teacher? There is no way you could confide in her? Someone somewhere has to know what is going on with you.

Also, you sound like someone who would really benefit from CBT, both for anxiety and your catastrophic thinking. I can watch you getting more and more worked up as your post continues, you are freaking yourself out.

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propranolol is a great med for performance anxiety. It helps with the autonomic nervous system arousal of performance anxiety without the same side effects as benzos

and also there are lots of therapy approaches that can help as well.

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1 hour ago, crtclms said:

What makes you love your music teacher? There is no way you could confide in her? Someone somewhere has to know what is going on with you.

Also, you sound like someone who would really benefit from CBT, both for anxiety and your catastrophic thinking. I can watch you getting more and more worked up as your post continues, you are freaking yourself out.

Thank you for your comment. I could tell my teacher but I am so scared she will be disappointed or something. I don't really know what I honestly think the worst that could happen is, my teacher is kind but very stern on what and how she want things. I had a therapist for a while though, after I became to have more severe anxiety but I'm bad at confiding in person to people so it wouldn't end well to try and tell her about this. Thank you once again.

1 hour ago, melissaw72 said:

I would tell someone the truth of what is going on with you.

Are you on any meds that you use as needed to calm your panic attacks, like xanax, ativan, etc?

My parents won't let me take meds as my anxiety is "not bad enough for medication". I mentioned in another comment that I am bad at confiding or just being open with someone in person (except for my friend who has anxiety as well). Thank you for your comment, it means a lot.

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1 hour ago, Wooster said:

propranolol is a great med for performance anxiety. It helps with the autonomic nervous system arousal of performance anxiety without the same side effects as benzos

and also there are lots of therapy approaches that can help as well.

I will keep that in mind. I did have a therapist but I got through each lesson by awkward eye avoiding and whispering half true answers so...yeah. Thank you.

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This might seem weird. However you can also trigger your vagus nerve by sticking your face in a bowl of ice water or some intense exercise like sit ups/push ups/running in place, etc.

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