By Grey Matter
Hello everyone. I find lately I've been getting random moments of panic attacks, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Seemingly caused by the most innocuous things. Just today it was windy and rainy off and on at the dog park where I take my dog scraps. it was seemingly going fine till one of the tent poles started creeking and popping which scared scrapsy to death so we decided to hang back in the parking lot over viewing the lake and I could feel it coming on so I rushed home and end up curling into a ball on the chair trying the relaxation response while repeating words to lift me up, I don't know whether it helped or not I'm kinda still dealing with the fallout. I was just wondering if anyone gets random episodes like that,sorry if it's a dumb post I just don't know much about any of my conditions.
So the new wonder drugs have been doing okay in the way of no side effects. My mood stabilizer seems to be doing its job (though I have done nothing to make my mood turn for the worse), and that's tiding me over until the Paroxetine kicks in I guess. Still can't concentrate worth shit. All I want to do is laze around and read and eat and sleep.
Though I have had bursts of creativity. My passion for drawing and writing is slowly coming back, and that makes me really happy. Haven't been able to bring up the courage to try painting yet, though. I am a perfectionist, and I'm nervous that if I start a painting and it doesn't go exactly right, my mood will turn sour again, and I'll descend back into the current in the ocean of madness that is my brain - anger pulling me one way, frustration pulling the other, sadness trying to suck me under.
Back on track though, the meds are doing pretty well - so far.
My good day recipie:
- Wake up between 5:30 and 6:30.
- Get to bed no later than 10 and not much ealier.
- Get six hours of sleep.
- Leave plenty of time to get ready in the morning. This means I need to start NOT hitting the snooze button. Sigh.
- Take half of my medicine before breakfast.
- Take a shower, **eat breakfast,** really important, get really anxious without it, and get dressed.
- Make sure my backpack or purse is ready for the day.
I think, for me to get ready, the key is to be prepared and not be rushed. When I'm rushed, I'm more anxious and I'm more likely to forget something. I also really have found it best that I take half of my medicine, as this helps me wake up. Then I need to eat and take the other half of my medicine - this helps me digest the first before taking the second.
Now I'm going to mail the care package I made for my friend, yay! I just have to go and send it, which I'm about to do now. Woohoo!
By Rose Tyler
So I am starting a thread for random thoughts because I didn't really see one and felt like I wanted. That are important enough to write down but not important enough to warrant their own thread/blog post!
Tell us about your day! Are you hungry? Are you bored? What are you doing? What are you listening to? What do you want to do? Do you need to get something off your chest? Are sparkly ponies in your yard?
My house smells strange because we haven't taken out the dump and it's 90 degrees out. Can it freaking cool down already?