Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Bipolar and religion/spirituality


Recommended Posts

I've had religious experiences while manic. I thought God was speaking to me. I felt on top of the world. I was to deliver messages to others. I walked around the area where I was currently living at 1 am or later and preached what I thought I needed to say and questioned lots of things to God and was just generally freaking out. I ended up in the ER (won't say how in case they find me) and was clawing at my arms and talking to myself. 

They bandaged my arms and shot me full of haldol and zyprexa zydis. I woke up the next day in the psych ward drowsy as could be.

Religious experiences haven't happened to me to that extent since then - where I wander around in dangerous parts of the city so psychotic talking to God. But I'm on two AAP's nowadays.

But some evil entities that I believe are surrounding me exist (I get messages or signs all the time), warning me the universe will end soon or that people I love will die/leave me.

Oh and I feel my deceased brother's presence around me at times, watching over us. I know that is true. He can't be completely gone forever. He is still out there I know it. I know it with all my being. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 5/25/2016 at 5:06 PM, uncomfortable thoughts said:

.

Agnostic most likely to be non theist inclined by human condition to go to nihilism.

WTF? I have been an atheist since I was a child. And I am not nihilist. At all. I am definitely an Absurdist. Sweeping generalizations about atheists' are ridiculous.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, crtclms said:

WTF? I have been an atheist since I was a child. And I am not nihilist. At all. I am definitely an Absurdist. Sweeping generalizations about atheists' are ridiculous.

Hmmm.

Where did I generalize something about atheism? 

I just said my agnostic tendencies are most like to be non theist because of what I perceive as human condition. 

Oh, and I,

I tend to be a nihilistic. 

I never thought nihilism could be an inconvenient generalized term.

I still believe my human condition sets me to nihilism, if you're non theist and non nihilist, why would you care if I didn't said a non theist would be a nihilist?

I'm not getting this 'wtf' 'ridiculous'.

Edited by uncomfortable thoughts
Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I was manic I thought I was God now I'm medicated and my mood is stable but this idea of being God is still in my head even on Abilify 30 mg and 8mg risperdal!!! i don't know what to do i'm desperate :( clozaril is my last shot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

First off I would like to say I am a religious person. I don't want to debate it with anyone, to each their own I guess. When I am manic I have a TON of religious delusions. Pretty much the whole manic episode is centered around religion. Do I think any of the stuff I experienced when manic is real? I have often wondered about it but pretty much concluded its not real. I often thought God gave me the power to control the weather while manic too and I know that's not real lol. The giant tornado while I was in the hospital once and the freak ice storm while I was in the hospital another time didn't help matters lmao but I don't think any of it was real. I actually felt the need to repent because I felt like I blasphemed God and was very upset about it after all the mania was over with. Anyways that's just my 2 cents

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

I never really considered religion as part of the picture, I guess I'm new here though but awhile ago I started exploring Christianity and became full blown born again bible studying retreat going on Christian for awhile. Now I'm not even sure I'm Christian at all anymore. I lean towards agnostic a bit and am almost bothered by it now, I wonder if my instant obsession with Christianity was actually a religious experience or just another thing that I was extreme about for a short amount of time before I moved on to the next thing I did quite recently have a period of being slightly obsessed with Illuminati things and find myself thinking about God again on occasion. I guess I have to say I am still agnostic because I'm pretty caught up in the I don't even know, do anyone of us know feeling but I hope if there is a God he knows I was hoping he was real the whole time. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I can relate, I seem to be in one of such states right now...where I have been before... I feel actually very uplifted and "clear" in some sense since yesterday, like a lightbulb up there, after some time with dullness and numbness. Yet it is feeling a bit crazy. Definitely my episodes have been religion/spirituality oriented...I have bought into funny beliefs and the agitation and anxiety also feeds it...and ungoundedness... and excessive ruminations over sins/deeds...or demons and angels...feeling demonic or then feeling like a coming angel...these realities swap and they can be scary. But I don't know, I do feel there is something to these experiences and really difficult to differentiate because it's the same thing in a way? I tend to become overly metaphysical. Entities harassing sound familiar to me... hoping for the better ones to share their vibes more... I don't know, in the end I am nothing but clear!! Yet I just want to feel smooth... the thing is, when I get into these modes I feel more energized and vitalized by these "good forces", but also can make me feel terribly messed up and like if I sit in meditation I can become _really_ collapsing yin/yang ,body/mind, yes/no, good/bad, ego/self...incarnation of dualism....in a super physical way that manifests itself as severe anxiety. And feel like I might die suddenly from the metaphysical "divine stress".  Somehow I can feel lighter suddenly and then heavy again, very variable but within a pattern. Somehow I would like to believe in reason, yet at the same time I find the need to be open, I feel that there are different kinds or levels of scientific thinking, whatever works of makes sense, or most of all: feels right and good! After all, human mind is quite limited in understanding the full phenomena, some things we just can't know yet. I always come to the conclusion loop of yes&no in the end. I guess all we need to do is sit back and relax, somehow.

Edited by cottonzilla
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Personally, I think He knows.

 

11 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Personally, I think He knows.

 

Yeah it feels nice to think He knows and if I have faith in anything it is that I suppose. 

Edited by hereagain85
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...