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charlotteshead

Does anyone have most BPD symptoms but totally lack one/several?

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OH YES

i have been diagnosed undiagnosed etc etc 

i was in the Marine Corp for 27 years. I have only been arrested over a social issue for " illegal camping " while protesting

I have been married forever 

the only risky behavior is bargain shopping and I stop at 100 dollars

so yeah but I don't believe in diagnosis anyway 

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I don't think there's any mental illness that requires a criminal record - even ASPD you don't NEED to have one, though some folks do.

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Sorry, I meant that having a criminal record was on the diagnostic criteria, not that it was required. Or rather, repeated actions that could be grounds for arrest, but not necessarily actually arrested.

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6 hours ago, sweetlysinister said:

Right? I've always heard you can't be bipolar if you self harm 

What...??? Who on EARTH would ever say that? That's akin to saying, "You can't have blue eyes if you have red hair." That makes zero sense. What people say boggles my mind. Was this a professional?

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4 hours ago, tryp said:I don't think there's any mental illness that requires a criminal record - even ASPD you don't NEED to have one, though some folks do.

Oh yeah I was told by my therapist this stuff an about the self harm but I call bs I know my self pretty well an multiple doctors have told me I have bpd but the bipolar type two is new but hopefully soon I will be seeing a psychiatrist 

4 hours ago, Bellatrix said:

Sorry, I meant that having a criminal record was on the diagnostic criteria, not that it was required. Or rather, repeated actions that could be grounds for arrest, but not necessarily actually arrested.

Oh I've done things to be arrested for I've just never been caught ha

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I hit all the traits for BPD when I was diagnosed at Homewood. It was the main diagnosis alongside Complex Trauma. However, they stuck to "aggression" because I exhibited traits that fell under that category more often than the other ones. I feel though that I'm personally more "impulsive" than "aggressive" now, mainly because I successfully passed their rehab program and I'm on the right meds. So, I don't know if I still see myself as BPD "aggressive" type anymore. Can't change it on the record but meh, I've got impulsive marked under my ADHD diagnosis so I guess they would still know that I'm impulsive.

Edited by KarateKid

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BPD was mentioned to me in a round about way by a psychiatrist:

"Do you get upset if you have an argument with someone"? 

"No why"?

"Because people who have Borderline Personality Disorder do"

"I don't have Borderline Personality Disorder"

"Borderline is written here in your file"

"Doesn't mean it's right"

Doc waves his hand to dismiss me and shook his head and said yeah yeah whatever and then changed the subject and didn't go into details about what criteria I exhibited. No assessment was ever done on me at least not to my knowledge and no one ever sat down with me and said you have BPD because you have such and such symptoms. I went home and read everything I could about it and I can honestly say that I fit none of the criteria. The only thing I do is self harm but from what I read, people with borderline self harm when they are upset about something that has happened to them or they feel empty or in emotional pain. That is definitely not me. Self harm for me has only ever happened when I was psychotic and having episodes. I have never had thoughts of hurting myself because something had happened, I don't feel empty and I'm not in emotional pain. 

Since then Borderline hasn't been mentioned and I haven't been officially diagnosed with it but I think they seem convinced that I have it due to the questions they ask me. Have you had a fight with a friend? How long do your relationships last? That kind of thing. Which is laughable but also incredibly frustrating because none of the symptoms I've had for nearly 10 years (maybe more) have got anything to do with a silly fight with some friend or whatever other nonsense they want to come up with that never happened.

I have no doubt that there are people who do have it but I think many others are walking around with this highly stigmatised disorder (often by the doctors themselves) who don't have it at all. Personally I think it's a shit diagnosis and they should think carefully about putting a label on someone especially a stigmatised disorder.

 

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I've never had anyone who talked to me about BPD ask me questions about arguments with friends or whatever. That seems pretty strange for them to focus on. And yeah, the stigma the diagnosis carries is beyond ridiculous.

 

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Something to think about: BPD isn't quite so cut and dried as depression - where it's answer a few questions like a k10, and CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE DEPRESSED! BPD has been described to me by the head of the hospital whom I was seeing 1:1 for treatment as simply a label. That label can be applied to all sorts of permutations of mental illness, the most important part being: If we give you this label, we think you have a high risk of suicide (1 in 10, as against the national average of 1 in 10,000 in Australia), and you need more specific treatment and knowledge than what a label of depression can give you.

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On 29/05/2016 at 9:58 PM, Hopelessly Broken said:

^^^^Yeah. The person that diagnosed me was not even a full consultant yet and that's all he based it off, that at the time I used self harm as a coping mechanism and I have a lot of suicide attempts in my past (and to this day still have chronic suicidal thoughts) 

I also used substances and ran away from my ex foster home regularly because it was not safe for me during the time where I was making a big decision in my life besides to die. 

I told them look I see why you are doing this but you have not even asked me why I do those things. He said I know why and I diagnose all trans people with it, especially ones with a traumatic upbringing. 

And ever since it has been nothing but a degrading experience and has only provided people with more of a reason to harass and discriminate me, undermine me and treat me like dirt. 

At the time, without looking into the whys, I had all 9 criteria. Funny how 4 of them left automatically when I began testosterone without even trying. 

But I can't explain that now, because the damage to my already highly fucked up mental health records is done, permanently. 

That is.. Terrifying. The fact that there are so many people like that swimming around with letters after their names and more power than compassion is..

Nng. This is why I lean towards "we should just knock it all on the head". Think we have BP1~2, currently-rapid-cycling, usually-not. But with (undiagnosed, but acknowledged by psychs) PTSD on our plate, along with psychotic symptoms during depressive extremes.. Terrified that if we go try to get a dx, we'll end up lumped with BPD. Trans + Trauma + Suicidal + SH + Psychotic Episodes + Dissociation.. There's too many easy-tickboxes for someone who doesn't know the actual reasoning. And.. BPD is a dead albatross diagnosis that frankly, we're really, really scared of getting lumped with on our record for life.. Just because we met some new shrink who didn't know us, but knew he felt more comfortable dxing personality disorders (as happened with bf, whose Aspergers Syndrome turned into Schizoid PD overnight when he saw a new pdoc).

I feel kinda bad posting here though. I don't.. Think we have BPD? 6 years of psychology appointments & psychologist has never brought up the idea, either. Close friend of 10 years who's pretty clueful doesn't think we do, either. So.. Really, we don't belong here..? But.. The risk if we try to get dx'd in general Mental Health (where we're being moved to) has been gnawing at me so much, and.. The fact so many people ITT share similar fears & similar experiences.. Is both reassuring & disheartening. :S

Tri

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Nobody thinks I do, either. Not even my ignorant sitters. The general understanding for me is that I have a lot of various different PD traits because of 18 years of childhood developmental trauma, and ongoing shit because of being trans, combined with all of that, and that pretty much everyone that would be diagnosed with complex PTSD, if it was actually in the DSM, has PD traits. 

 

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I don't have 

  • impulsive and often dangerous behaviors, such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating
  • Recurring suicidal behaviors or threats or self-harming behavior, such as cutting

I used to binge eat, go on spending sprees and have unsafe sex, and I cut a little. This mostly all went away as I got older

actually I have found that several of the symptoms have lessened as I am in my 30's now.

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My therapist thinks I might have borderline. We just started talking about it today. But I'm not impulsive, like at all. I worry about everything forever before doing anything. So if I am borderline, I guess I'm missing that criteria.

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You can worry about things and still do them anyways to counteract the worry. That is still impulsivity. You can know that it is wrong and harmful, but have no power to stop yourself from doing it. That is what mine is like. 

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Just now, Hopelessly Broken said:

You can worry about things and still do them anyways to counteract the worry. That is still impulsivity. You can know that it is wrong and harmful, but have no power to stop yourself from doing it. That is what mine is like. 

I don't really do that. Well, most of the time. I do some self-harming, but nothing too severe and haven't done any in a while. I don't really binge eat or shop. I don't know. I'm not sure I agree with her theory about me being borderline, but we'll see how things unfold.

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I think the definition for impulsivity is quite vague. I describe impulsivity as engaging in a behaviour that has no emotional benefits, in order to block out something distressing, or to falsely meet a need that isn't being met by more rational means, whilst simultaneously feeling a lack of control to stop the behaviour, even if you are aware of the consequences and long term negative effects of it. Because the need is more than the concern for self at the time of engagement. 

If that makes any sense. 

 

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4 hours ago, Hopelessly Broken said:

I think the definition for impulsivity is quite vague. I describe impulsivity as engaging in a behaviour that has no emotional benefits, in order to block out something distressing, or to falsely meet a need that isn't being met by more rational means, whilst simultaneously feeling a lack of control to stop the behaviour, even if you are aware of the consequences and long term negative effects of it. Because the need is more than the concern for self at the time of engagement. 

If that makes any sense. 

 

And that's similar to what it's like for me.

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Once... on my medical records, I saw it was written 'Possible borderline vs schizoid  personality disorder'

I wonder how, if they are opposite disorders, or almost.

 

I don't have any... criteria.

 

When I SH in the past I was euphoric or psychotic and think it's funny really fun to bleed.

When I was suicidal I was depressed, not void, not feeling abandoned.

Not void feeling, just nothingness or dissociated. and I like it.

actually I don't feel abandoned, I am afraid people will become violent towards me.

i am socially isolated an barely talk, but when I write I tend to use metaphors if I am high, a lot. -hyperbole-

I rarely do dangerous things.

I think everything too much before doing anything, If I do something stupid it's because I lack of common sense, but I can control myself.

 

Yeah, I am a 'false' borderline, borderline only if the professional who sees me is an idiot. Like the psychologic who wrote those possible diagnosis aftet talking only twice with me.

 

Onca

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Over the course of my life I can identify external symptoms that defiantly appear as BPD. And I have been described by others in the same manor. I have never had all 9. The total number would be 8 and this would be cumulative not concurrent. And right now much of this behavior is old and not current.

2.5 years ago I had a DX of PTSD with 2 traits each of BPD & APD. Right now I am working with a T dealing with dissociating problems as well as in the process of being evaluated for ASP, I have dyslexia and the thinking is ASP was missed as it was not a known thing at the time.

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I'm not diagnosed borderline, but I for sure have borderline traits (and I'm gonna be evaluated for it). But I do know that for BPD, you only need to meet 5/9 of the criteria. I also, however, know that some symptoms are required for certain diagnoses (meaning, you have to meet at least x of y criteria on this list, but you for sure have to meet criteria 2 and 6 or something). I don't know if BPD is like that at all, but if you meet 5/9 then you can be diagnosed, even if you're missing some of the most common ones.

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