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Two steps forward three steps back it all goes slack

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I was doing well. Really well but now my ''visitors'' are back. They're in my head and they are dead. I see them vividly. They scream. They whisper. They keep me up all night. They like to control my thoughts and make me think things I don't want to. Like hurting myself. I want to pull them out of me. I don't know how to. 

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11 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I'm sorry the voices are back.  I think you need to contact your pdoc ASAP.  Maybe you need a med tweak? 

If you feel like you might hurt yourself or others, please go to the ER ASAP.

I just want to second this.

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6 minutes ago, dazed and confused said:

Pharmacists are poisoning my meds. I refuse to go anywhere near the hospital because I've been badly treated by the pdocs there. I don't trust them.

Dazed, this part about pharmacists poisoning your meds sounds like a delusion to me, but if you feel unsafe at that pharmacy, there are others around, I'm sure. 

If you can't go to that same hospital, is there another you could try? Or maybe a private pdoc? Either way, I really think you should try to see SOMEONE to get yourself back on your meds and stable. 

It sucks hearing you talk like this. Know that you have support here, good people who won't tell you mean things like the voices.  Please take care of yourself, and try your best not to listen to those asshole voices until you can get them under control. <3

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There are always other options . Different hospitals different doctors and different pharmacist . There are ways of being treated that help with your safety like an advocate for you being with you at all times or a nurse being present during every exam.most hospitals have patient advocates . You can also give someone you love your durable medical power of attorney which means when dr's want to do something that you can't or don't want then the person you trust can 90% of the time make the decision . I would also like to throw out there treatment centers and local health departments and clinics . This durable medical power of attorney doesn't give that person any other aspect of your life other than speaking for you on medical decisions not on financial or legal or anything else

while filling prescription you can also take them to the pharmacy with your durable medical person and they can watch as prescriptions are filled and confirm that they are being taken out of the normal bottle that everyone else uses. You can also do this at a different pharmacy 


i agree it seems like fear is really a big part of your decision making process right now and that normally doesn't have good results. Maybe it's time for you to do some grounding work and realize where you are who you are with what does it smell or taste like what does the chair feel like etc etc and get to the point where you can take control back over these voices if only for a minute 

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