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It's just cereal


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It's just cereal. It's a whole bowl. And too much milk. It's just cereal. But it's chocolate. And you just stepped on the scale and the number is going to be higher now. It's just cereal. It's barely has any calories. You need calories. I feel so full though. Milk sloshing around. It's been down at least 5 min. There's some calories. IT'S JUST FUCKING CEREAL. 

 

This is the very real war that plays in my head every time I eat.

 

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4 hours ago, Sapphireburst said:

I just wish it wasn't over every little thing I ate. 

It really sucks to be in this frame of mind that you are in.  I've been there, and it was hard to get out of.  I'm trying to think back to how I handled it. 

FWIW ... It was a slow process, and I think what I remember happening was that my hip had broken, and after the surgery the food thoughts lessened.  Had 2 surgeries after that in the next 2 years, and by then the thoughts had slowed down.  Point being that I had something else huge to focus on getting better (my hip), and after awhile I was mainly re-focused on other things.

Any chance you can sleep now?  That might take your mind off of it temporarily, or at least enough your mind won't be swarming you with the thoughts you have.  When you wake up, they might be calmed down.

Are you in therapy? Have a psychiatrist (pdoc)?

 

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 I have had both for years. The new Pdoc I'm with is very sensitive to my weight issues. He's very conscious about what he gives me for medication. 

For a long time I denied that I even had an ED. Even now we all (Drs, therapist, family, group program...) refer to it as my "eating or food issues." And it seems that everyone wants to ignore it. Then again, so do I. 

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