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-sigh- I've not been well the last three weeks an I hit a all time low today ,yesterday I cut again an was numb and depressed all day forced my self to work came out angry tired to jump out of my husbands car we got into a screaming match I got out of the car to chain smoke which I never do an screamed at him to leave me alone over an over which he didn't he drove off for a bit maybe an hour then  finally I  got back into the car was going to go to the hospital at this point I'm screaming an punching the car in anger having a total meltdown an he drove me around till I could breath again , I feel so tired an dispointed in my self I haven't been this way since last May spoke to my doctor she wants me on 200 of serquoel which I'm not sure it will work but I'm gonna give it th old college try .... 

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