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Sras

Seems like it never ends

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I'm glad I can hide behind my computer to have conversations with people so they can't see me crying.

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I know the feeling and it sucks :(  

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Hey, Sras, new t this site and the diagnosis, as they pegged me for a variety of other disorders in 15 years before concluding long-term PTSD, but right no, and in the past few months, the place you're at is also where I m. I'll never dig out of it either, I think. I've thought for the past two days that I'm sure I don't want to anymore. I'm shut up tight in my house, all windows and doors locked and/or blocked, and shuddering at the prospect of having to go food shopping because it means there are other humans involved. I'm als a little pissed that I'm so afraid of them and that the lies and conditions of my abusers who are still able to control me and my home to some extent matter more to everyone in my town including my own lawyer who just scolded me for finally getting angry abut the abuse. I can't do anything but cry, have panic attacks, get angry, cry more and look up ways people used to actually complete suicide because I just don't care anymore. I suppose this might just make things worse, so I'm sorry if it did. Was only trying to convey I know the feeling you've got now.

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