Controlling obsessive thoughts

[crazy_cat_lady]

I've been told I appear to be going through a "mixed" episode, or dysphoric depression. Could be, could be. Anyway, I am having a lot of trouble controlling obsessive thoughts about what are probably insignificant things.

Right now: I made a post on Facebook that a few people took offence to. It was fairly minor -- I expressed frustration that drugs were being used in a park near my house and that I kept encountering needles, broken crack pipes, and broken liquor bottles; I was then told I should find somewhere else to walk my dog because I don't know the circumstances of the people who do those drugs, and they have basically have a right to do whatever the fuck they want. Normally I wouldn't really care, because those individuals are the kind of people who try to find something offensive in everything, so that they can use the world as their soap box. So I was slammed and berated in the comments section, but others expressed support, and hey, that's social media, right? People have a right to express their opinions, no matter how condescending and self-righteous they are. I engaged in a logical debate, but eventually cut it off because it was just too much work and I was going to start making some "ad hominem" attacks that I'd rather avoid. One of them unfriended me, which seems like a huge over-reaction to just disagreeing with an opinion that matters so little in the grand scheme of things.

Anyway, even though it's just a matter of opinion, I can't stop obsessing over what others said that I disagreed with, and keep checking the post even though I turned off notifications so that I wouldn't keep checking the post! I think this is just a symptom of dysphoric depression - I become fixated on something and just obsess and obsess and let it ruin two days, when I know logically that it's just not worth it. I consider them hyper-sensitive, but I get easily upset and hurt when someone disagrees with me. It's so fucking frustrating and I can't make it stop!!!!!!

How do you deal with obsessive thoughts and the urge to tell everyone just exactly what you think of them? Mixed episodes are the worst. (And I'll also probably be checking here obsessively for responses... ugh!)

Edited June 9, 2016 by crazy_cat_lady

[TakeAChillPill]

Hi!

I can relate to some of this- well, the old me can relate.  I seem to be pretty stable now and have been for several years.

I frequent Facebook multiple times a day and for hours a day.  I know all too well how shitty it can be.  People who are supposed to be my "friends" disrespecting me because I always make statuses about trying to lose weight when i then turn around and do absolutely nothing until I'm back at square one.  Understandably, I must be a frustrating person to deal with.  There has also been a plethora of people who just randomly mock and fat shame me when I am in a group with ADULTS who have no life.    

I just want you to know that a lot of people on Facebook are shameless idiots and cowards.  They use Facebook as a platform to make themselves feel better by making other people feel worse.  

You expressed a fairly innocent opinion.  it wasn't about politics or religion, or any one of those topics that set people off.  You should be glad that person unfriended you because honestly, who needs shallow people like that for friends?  Just rest assured that most people would side with you.  The people starting an argument were just being internet trolls and have nothing better to do than drive you crazy.  

I can empathize with how you feel.  I am no stranger to being intense and obsessive.  Are you keeping in touch whit your psychiatrist?  Maybe you need  slight med tweak.  Who knows.  

[aura]

In my experience, no amount of logic can change the opinion of someone who wants to start trouble on facebook. That's why I don't have facebook anymore.

As for the obsessive thoughts, try limiting the amount of time you are obsessing. Tell yourself: I can obsess for 15 minutes, then I have to stop and do something else. It's a CBT technique that really works for me. 

[philosophin]

I can relate to obsessively ruminating over negative social interactions, and having people just piss me off in general.  I can't tell you how many times I've deactivated my FB account because I got upset at a lack of response when I tried to post about something serious.

What you describe does sound like how I was when I was in a nasty mixed episode (induced by Chantix, but that's another story).  I am a very nice, reserved person normally, but when a Scientologist approached me as I was passing it irritated me so much I turned to him and said "FUCK Scientology."  Or just every little thing that would normally be slightly annoying fully enrages me.  It's not a fun headspace to be in at all; I basically felt like it made me act like a raging bitch.  I hope you are getting med help to quash it!

I agree with the suggestion that you should set a time limit for how long you allowed yourself to obsess over the FB thing, then distract yourself or do something else fun or productive.  Eventually, the obsessions should fade, provided you are doing med tweaks to quash the mixed episode.

Edited June 15, 2016 by philosophin

[melissaw72]

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I can relate to obsessively ruminating over negative social interactions

^^THIS happens every day to me.  I can definitely empathize with you on that. 

(And I would have said pretty much the exact same thing that you did to the Scientology person). 

 

About OPs main question:

Quote

How do you deal with obsessive thoughts and the urge to tell everyone just exactly what you think of them?

I haven't found a way to deal with having the ruminating thoughts going away yet.  Nothing has helped me get rid of them.  I can not stop the memories from surfacing.  I wish I could find a solution to it all, making them stop, or at least lessening them.  

I don't really have the problem of the urge to tell everyone what I think of them. 

Look forward to others posting here; maybe they have other ideas on how to help.

 

[Laftaf]

I get what you're saying about the ruminating and anger since it isomething that I deal with also. I was watching a youtube video once, and the person mentioned, that you can't stop the thoughts because everyone's mind is so rich and complex. So basically, we would need to put a distance between us and the thoughts. He used the analogy of traffic. (traffic would be the "bad" thoughts)

He said that in real life, when you are sitting in bad traffic, you feel it. You don't like it. you are thinking about it, cursing it, and just not happy about it at all.

But  in real life when you are out of the bad traffic,  like, if you were looking down at the bad traffic on the freeways from a skyscraper, or on the television, your thoughts are usually, just like " Oh look, there's bad traffic, Oh well, I'm glad I'm not in it, I'm just looking at it etc........

So basically, you have a "distance" from the bad traffic. When you are looking at "traffic" on the t.v. or up high in a hot air balloon, you are able to look at it objectively without a problem.

So basically, when rumination hits, the goal is to create a "distance" from the thoughts so that you can just be like "oh ok, no problem."

I hope I explained that well enough.

[melissaw72]

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So basically, when rumination hits, the goal is to create a "distance" from the thoughts so that you can just be like "oh ok, no problem."

 

Thanks for this post ... I find it really helpful.

[Laftaf]

2 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Thanks for this post ... I find it really helpful.

Ohhh, thanks   I wasn't sure I explained it well enough. I just like the way the guy had explained it . I tend to keep thinking about things for many years in fact. I have never liked the term monkey mind.... I dunno, I just felt that term wasn't for me. So when that guy was saying how it has taken thousands of years for the mind to evolve and become as rich and complex as it iis now, so why would we want to "stop" it.

It just made me feel like he was treating the mind with a nice respect and that sometimes we identify too much with a certain thought(s) so I loved the traffic analogy he used. When I am in traffic, yes I sure do identify too much with it. LOL But when I am out of traffic, and  looking at it from  a window up in my apartment, I do actually, tend to see the tiny cars  zooming past like little ants....... So what he was saying about creating a distance from my obsessive thoughts really made sense to me.

But I know that it is easier said than done. LOL