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The longer I have delusions, the harder they are to get rid of?


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I used to better recognize delusions as delusions even if I felt well. I'm finding it harder to differentiate between false ideas and reality and the ideas are stronger. Obviously I still question the ideas since I'm posting here, but I feel like I'm slipping. Is this typical after being sick a long time? It is getting worse even though I take my meds. 

Edited by Dusk
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For me this rings true. I am getting strong death messages tonight. I have been better but been worse. I don't see my tdoc next week but I try to argue to her that they are all real. She tries to "fact check" me. It doesn't help but you may find it helpful. Do you currently see a tdoc? I hope you can feel better 

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To answer the title of your thread:

Quote

The longer I have delusions, the harder they are to get rid of?

IMO, only if you are not on meds.  At least for me that is true.

4 hours ago, Dusk said:

I used to better recognize delusions as delusions even if I felt well. I'm finding it harder to differentiate between false ideas and reality and the ideas are stronger. Obviously I still question the ideas since I'm posting here, but I feel like I'm slipping. Is this typical after being sick a long time? It is getting worse even though I take my meds. 

I know you have a great tdoc from what you wrote earlier on in this thread, but do you have a pdoc also who prescribes your meds?  I think this would be a good time to get in touch with your pdoc also, to get this all under control before it gets worse.  It sounds like your meds aren't helping much.  Maybe a med change?  Or tweak?

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I do have a pdoc, also a great doctor like my tdoc. He's been switching my meds a lot lately. I have a complicated way of metabolizing meds apparently, and he's trying to find the best way to go about it. I feel lost.

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2 hours ago, Dusk said:

I do have a pdoc, also a great doctor like my tdoc. He's been switching my meds a lot lately. I have a complicated way of metabolizing meds apparently, and he's trying to find the best way to go about it. I feel lost.

I'm sorry you feel so lost.  I've been there too.

Is pdoc switching more than one med at a time?  If so, it might be hard to figure out which med is doing what, and if any, are causing side effects (good or bad).

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Hmmm.

For me,

If I don't know it's a delusion and I spent a bunch of time believing in it is harder to get rid off than a delusion that 'pop-out' of an episode just a single time.

I think it's because when I'm delusional for a while I surround myself or become immerse on it.

Those tough delusions that I spent a bunch of time untreated believing in, those, sticks around in another forms even after I get better.

They can become dualistic and draining but aren't delusions, they fit more properly in 'magical thinking', 'obsessions' or 'fantasies'.

 

Hmmm.

For me,

If I don't know it's a delusion and I spent a bunch of time believing in it is harder to get rid off than a delusion that 'pop-out' of an episode just a single time.

I think it's because when I'm delusional for a while I surround myself or become immerse on it.

Those tough delusions that I spent a bunch of time untreated believing in, those, sticks around in another forms even after I get better.

They can become dualistic and draining but aren't delusions, they fit more properly in 'magical thinking', 'obsessions' or 'fantasies'.

 

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  • 1 month later...

I hope you're in a better place than when you started this thread, dusk. I'm thinking of you and wishing you well regardless xx

 

to your question: I have a lot of thoughts. 

 

1. I've taken medication and still had delusions worsen. I know because I've been told that it's not improving at times when I've tried to get discharged because I'm well now, etc. 

 

2. Maybe the meds aren't at a therapeutic level?

 

3. So, based on title alone, yes. The longer I've struggled with something believing it true the harder it's been to accept it as delusional and set aside the urges to act on those thoughts/within that framework. 

To that point, the hardest thing for me to believe is that I'm mentally ill and need to take medications. My first break was after a couple of years (if estimate) of hearing voices tell me about the Them and their plot to discredit me and formaldehyde me so as to render me unkillable. Years and years later, all the shit I've done and been through and all the time inpatient and in orograns and all the meds and therapy and whatnot... I'm more stable than I've been in years and overall functioning decently...my voices are almost all gone, I'm communicating coherently, leaving me house, able to use technology... And yet every day I stare at the pills in my hand and debate what is and isn't fact and whether consensus reality is all part of the coverup. 

Every

Day

Every

Dose

my psychiatrist was quite frank that it may well be a struggle always and points to how it's the most fundamental of my destructive thought patterns. It's singly caused me more discontinuation a and consequences than side effects or any other symptoms. And yet, every single time, I have to talk myself out of it and into swallowing. The only difference in a sense between well and unwell is that I'm able to debate it. Not that it's resolved or I "see" how "delusional" it is. Because I don't. But I am being compliant. One day at a time and so forth. One time at a time. 

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