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can't figure out how to describe this issue i'm having


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i would really appreciate it if someone can help me figure out how i can describe this symptom to my doctor when i see him next week. basically, i have an extremely difficult time communicating clearly. my words don't come out quite the way i intend them to do, which leads to people misinterpreting what i say. then when i see that they've misinterpreted something i find myself at a loss to explain myself, so i just give up. this is more of a problem in speech but also happens to some extent in writing no matter how much time i have to form ideas. also as i mentioned in a previous post my affect somtimes doesn't match up with how i'm actually feeling. so there seems to be this disconnect between myself and my thoughts and feelings that leads me to feel extremely disconnected socially.. it seems to make me more irritable, and extremely agitated because i might personalize others nonverbal reactions of what i see as rejection. then i might just shut down because i don't have the energy to explain myself, i don't even like the way i sound when i give a simple reply like yes or no... it's very isolating, not physically but emotionally, i guess... that's as best as i can describe it. if i were to show this to my doctor i suspect he wouldn't quite understand what i'm trying to say., maybe someone can help me put it into clearer terms. i'm sorry i just can't think clearly. i have been going through SSRI withdrawal and my mind is just shot... i can't tell if it's disorganized thoughts due to psychosis or just clouded thoughts due to the withdrawal.

Edited by y1gFwo
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Once again you are describing something that *could* be related to negative symptoms or it might not be. I have similar problems and I've never had psychosis. The only person whose opinion counts here is your pdoc. If I were you I'd write all these things out and take it with you to your pdoc in case you have trouble communicating. If you don't want to write it all out again, you can print out what you've written here. That goes for this thread and your other thread.

SSRI withdrawal can cause a bunch of problems so I can't discount that as the source of a lot of your problems.

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Sorry for asking, but for some reason, I recall reading that you are autistic? If yes, that can and often does cause a lot of communication problems because autistic people don't communicate the same way as neurotypical people- we often use more concrete and literal language, and our voices don't change tone or inflection as much. 

I don't want to hijack your thread at all, just putting it out there because I though I had read that you're autistic, and I have a challenging time with communication because of it, often. 

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Hopelessly Broken: i'm not autistic, but i do have aspie traits. that's coming from my therapist.

jt07: i just wanted to be sure that i was being clear enough in explaining the issue, but okay, i'll stop asking :)

 

1 hour ago, y1gFwo said:

 

Edited by y1gFwo
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2 hours ago, jt07 said:

Once again you are describing something that *could* be related to negative symptoms or it might not be. I have similar problems and I've never had psychosis. The only person whose opinion counts here is your pdoc. If I were you I'd write all these things out and take it with you to your pdoc in case you have trouble communicating. If you don't want to write it all out again, you can print out what you've written here. That goes for this thread and your other thread.

SSRI withdrawal can cause a bunch of problems so I can't discount that as the source of a lot of your problems.

^^ I was just going to say this.

What meds are you on?  (sorry if I missed it).

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19 minutes ago, iwishididnthaveanhedonia said:

what  are aspie traits if you dont mind me asking?

pretty sure it means that there's some of the characteristics of asperger's (like intermittent eye contact, flat emotions, obsessiveness, verbose speech) but not enough to be diagnosed.

HopelesslyBroken: i think aspger's and high functioning autism are the same thing, but either way my therapist said that i dont have enough symptoms to warrant diagnosis of aspger's or autism, so i don't really bother with it, i just consider them personality quirks. but they do complicate the MI part.

melissaw72: right now i'm not taking any meds. last med i was on was lexapro which was tapered 12 days ago. with permission from thearpist and pdoc. reason being they wanted to get a better idea of what the underlying problem is so they can better address it..

 

Edited by y1gFwo
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What about PDD-NOS or learning disorders, or other neurological issues like ADHD that make your brain different to neurotypical people? 

Actually, not sure about PDD-NOS, I think that might only be a childhood diagnosis? Just putting it out there that there are more ways than just being autistic that make it challenging to understand yourself, the world, to communicate, self regulate, be in tune with physiological signals.... All of which complicate treating mental illnesses, that from what I have read about you, would be worth looking into. 

If not interested, then that's fine. I will shut up. 

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4 hours ago, y1gFwo said:

last med i was on was lexapro which was tapered 12 days ago. with permission from thearpist and pdoc. reason being they wanted to get a better idea of what the underlying problem is so they can better address it..

 

When I tapered Lexapro it wasn't until the very very last day the med went thru my body that I had major side effects.

It felt like someone thru my brain off a cliff. Some of what is going on now for you might be the effect of stopping Lexapro.  Often a pdoc will give another med to limit the side effects of quitting Lex.

My depression also came back full force no ands no buts no apologies. It was a hideous experience. 

But everyone is different.  I imagine lexapro was not working for you which is why you stopped? - in addition to the no med idea.

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i have some questions if you don't mind me asking; 1. are you taking any meds right now after stopping Lexapro? 2. did the brain fog ever go away or did you have to replace the Lexapro with something else? right now that's the main thing i'm struggling with along with anxiety 3. what kind of meds would a psychiatrist prescribe that would limit the side effects? my pdoc prescribed prozac but i became much more agitated, angry, violent when i was put on that.  SSRIs don't seem to agree with me.

also fwiw, my therapist said that the problem described in the initial post is more about me exaggerating my inability to communicate, since no one has actually told me that my communication is poor. that i'm blowing it out of proportion and being too self-critical and that it's a judgment rather than a fact. he did however acknowledge the possbility that i'm genuinely disconnected, but that given what he knows about me he's betting it's the former..

for some reason i don't buy that. just because the poor communication is not unambiguous doesn't mean it's not a real issue. perhaps there just haven't' been enough real world situations that make the brain fog more obvious to an outside observer.

5 hours ago, y1gFwo said:

 

Edited by y1gFwo
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39 minutes ago, y1gFwo said:

i have some questions if you don't mind me asking; 1. are you taking any meds right now after stopping Lexapro? 2. did the brain fog ever go away or did you have to replace the Lexapro with something else? right now that's the main thing i'm struggling with along with anxiety 3. what kind of meds would a psychiatrist prescribe that would limit the side effects? my pdoc prescribed prozac but i became much more agitated, angry, violent when i was put on that.  SSRIs don't seem to agree with me.

also fwiw, my therapist said that the problem described in the initial post is more about me exaggerating my inability to communicate, since no one has actually told me that my communication is poor. that i'm blowing it out of proportion and being too self-critical and that it's a judgment rather than a fact. he did however acknowledge the possbility that i'm genuinely disconnected, but that given what he knows about me he's betting it's the former..

for some reason i don't buy that. just because the poor communication is not unambiguous doesn't mean it's not a real issue. perhaps there just haven't' been enough real world situations that make the brain fog more obvious to an outside observer.

I am taking meds. I went back on Lexapro and continued to take Aplenzin.

The brain fog went away. Yes!! Sorry I didn't include that part.  I do believe it would have gone away even if I did not go back on Lexapro.

Prozac? That seems strange. I think Zoloft, or a mild benzo or propanolol. I am not a doctor and do not know for sure. 

The last bit makes sense to me. Even if the therapist THINKS he knows what is going on with you, there may be miles and miles of deep water underneath. But that is your job to get it out to him.  How long have you been in therapy?

Want to be clear: You have both a tdoc (talk therapist) ANd pdoc (psychiatrist), right?

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yes, i've been in treatment altogether for over seven years, hence the need by my therapist and psychiatrist to find out what the real issue is by doing a med wash.  but i've only been seeing my current therapist for less than a year, and my current psychiatrist for maybe over four years

Edited by y1gFwo
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That's good you see both. I wanted to be sure. 

Do you feel safe with the therapist? Is it a good fit?

It can take a while to find someone although I believe timing is everything. I found the right person around the time I was really ready to do some hard work.

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Yeah it's definitely a good fit, i feel much more relaxed than with other therapists in the past who were very patronizing. Because of  my social anxiety people for some reason seem to assume that i need to be treated "gently" when that actually makes me more anxious

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That's great!  I tended to talk rings around the therapist which made them think everything was alright when in reality we were barely touching the surface. I found a man which somehow made all the difference in the world for me. I think because my critical voice is my mother so I can be more suspicious of women.

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that's understandable. personally i dont have any idea as to the causes of my issues, but i'm told it doesn't matter because knowing the cause wouldn't really change anything. and i guess that makes sense

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