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So I'm going to court in two days over some criminal charges that I have from last year, since then my life has changed dramatically. I've got two court appearances, one in two days and i don't have a date for the other one, for this one it should go well but i'm extremely anxious and stressed about it, does anyone have any advice on how to deal with anxiety and stress related to this?

The second date which i don't know yet will hopefully go well but there is about a 1% chance that I'll be sent to youth detention, its very very unlikely but that 1% chance is making my anxiety living hell.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated,

Thanks

Asho

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Heya Asho --

That sounds incredibly stressful, so it's not like your crazy for being an anxious wreck. But I will say, generally, what's done is done. The only option you have is to ride through the proceedings. I know it's easier said than done, but there's no point in crying over the possibility of spilling your milk. ;)

That being said, I have dabbled in the criminal justice system, and my friends and I have had, well, a fair share of run-ins with the law for a myriad of reasons. All of our lives changed dramatically after the fact and during ongoing legal consequences. Unfortunately, as the word suggests, these are indeed the consequences for our actions. But, all of them (who have reformed) have all returned to a life of normalcy. It was not the end like it so painfully feels like, it's just a shitty bump in the road. Also, very, very few were ever incarcerated, so with your estimate of a 1% chance, I have all the confidence in the world you'll be spared youth detention. And even if (and I mean, the tiniest of ifs) it happens, you'll still get over the bump and continue down the road.

I know easing anxiety is hard, if not impossible. I was a complete wreck the following year of my DWI, but listen to the facts, the rationality, the probability, and hopefully you find solace in that. I know my little, "oh it passes!" story may not do much, but I hope it's done a little.

I wish you the best of luck.

--Alice

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Asho, do you have a lawyer? If you have a lawyer and no prior record then it is very, very, very likely that you will walk out unscathed (maybe some fines).

 

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22 hours ago, Go Ask Alice said:

Heya Asho --

That sounds incredibly stressful, so it's not like your crazy for being an anxious wreck. But I will say, generally, what's done is done. The only option you have is to ride through the proceedings. I know it's easier said than done, but there's no point in crying over the possibility of spilling your milk. ;)

That being said, I have dabbled in the criminal justice system, and my friends and I have had, well, a fair share of run-ins with the law for a myriad of reasons. All of our lives changed dramatically after the fact and during ongoing legal consequences. Unfortunately, as the word suggests, these are indeed the consequences for our actions. But, all of them (who have reformed) have all returned to a life of normalcy. It was not the end like it so painfully feels like, it's just a shitty bump in the road. Also, very, very few were ever incarcerated, so with your estimate of a 1% chance, I have all the confidence in the world you'll be spared youth detention. And even if (and I mean, the tiniest of ifs) it happens, you'll still get over the bump and continue down the road.

I know easing anxiety is hard, if not impossible. I was a complete wreck the following year of my DWI, but listen to the facts, the rationality, the probability, and hopefully you find solace in that. I know my little, "oh it passes!" story may not do much, but I hope it's done a little.

I wish you the best of luck.

--Alice

Thanks Alice :), I'm ready to accept any consequences and move on with life

18 hours ago, jt07 said:

Asho, do you have a lawyer? If you have a lawyer and no prior record then it is very, very, very likely that you will walk out unscathed (maybe some fines).

 

Yeah i have legal aid provided for me which is really good, I don't have a record so i really hope so

18 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Have you tried propranolol for the anxiety?  It is a beta blocker but works well for anxiety.

I would like to try it however my pdoc won't let me be on more than one drug at a time which sucks, hopefully i can get another pdoc soon but we'll see, I do have a couple of clonidine tablets left over from when i was taking it so im gonna take a quarter tonight and see if that would help, obviously dont want to look stoned in front of the judge or anything so I wont take it tomorrow if that happens, just thought it might help with tremor and sweating and everything, not sure though, Propranolol definitely sounds like a good idea though :) 

 

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1 hour ago, Asho2345 said:

I would like to try it however my pdoc won't let me be on more than one drug at a time which sucks, hopefully i can get another pdoc soon but we'll see, I do have a couple of clonidine tablets left over from when i was taking it so im gonna take a quarter tonight and see if that would help, obviously dont want to look stoned in front of the judge or anything so I wont take it tomorrow if that happens, just thought it might help with tremor and sweating and everything, not sure though, Propranolol definitely sounds like a good idea though :) 

 

Asho in your sig it says that you are on some meds.  Just saying that because you mentioned that your pdoc only allows one med at a time?

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11 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Asho in your sig it says that you are on some meds.  Just saying that because you mentioned that your pdoc only allows one med at a time?

Any meds apart from seroquel are from gdoc or over the counter (loratadine and promethazine)

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Has it happened already?  I can't tell between time stamps but it looks like it might have based on your geographic location.  If so, I hope it went better than anticipated and that the worst was avoided.

As much as it may suck to be ungodly anxious in front of a judge, it may also be seen as the fact that you're uncomfortable with it all (rather than immune to it) and have had an impact such that larger things aren't necessary.  Obviously not a guarantee--and if you have a way of limiting the anxiety, I'd choose that over a theoretical possibility that it could help you--but if you're stuck with it as is, I can't really see a way that it would get perceived poorly. 

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Thanks for all the support guys :) I really appreciate it!

10 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

Can your gdoc help you out with prescribing the propranolol?  Even temporarily?

I might ask him about it in my next appointment 

8 hours ago, dancesintherain said:

Has it happened already?  I can't tell between time stamps but it looks like it might have based on your geographic location.  If so, I hope it went better than anticipated and that the worst was avoided.

As much as it may suck to be ungodly anxious in front of a judge, it may also be seen as the fact that you're uncomfortable with it all (rather than immune to it) and have had an impact such that larger things aren't necessary.  Obviously not a guarantee--and if you have a way of limiting the anxiety, I'd choose that over a theoretical possibility that it could help you--but if you're stuck with it as is, I can't really see a way that it would get perceived poorly. 

yeah it happened today, basically all that happened was it all got moved to a different date so nothings finalised to I'll having this all hanging over my shoulder till at least 29th September, not good for my stress levels!

7 hours ago, jt07 said:

Good luck in court, Asho.

Thanks Jt!

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Quote

yeah it happened today, basically all that happened was it all got moved to a different date so nothings finalised to I'll having this all hanging over my shoulder till at least 29th September, not good for my stress levels!

That sucks that you now have to wait until the end of September!  I can empathize with the long waits ... they stress me out too!

I hope you can get something to help with the anxiety and stress.

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2 minutes ago, melissaw72 said:

That sucks that you now have to wait until the end of September!  I can empathize with the long waits ... they stress me out too!

It sucks extra because I think the stress is causing my mood swings and anxiety and basically everything tbh to be worse, and either adhd or depressions cognitive symptoms are making everything miserable

sorry just kinda venting, long waits are the worst hey! especially the not knowing whats gonna happen part!

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21 minutes ago, Asho2345 said:

It sucks extra because I think the stress is causing my mood swings and anxiety and basically everything tbh to be worse, and either adhd or depressions cognitive symptoms are making everything miserable

sorry just kinda venting, long waits are the worst hey! especially the not knowing whats gonna happen part!

I agree with you that the stress could be causing your mood swings and anxiety, and everything else.  I understand completely how it can be miserable.

Yes!  Long waits are the worst.  Even just a month for me stresses me out. 

Keep posting though.  Hopefully it will take your mind off things, even if just a little.

Vent all you want!

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Asho, try to forget about it until the end of September. That's a long way off so don't let it ruin your life. I'm sorry it wasn't resolved today, but that's just the way courts work. It's the same here. 

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12 hours ago, melissaw72 said:

I agree with you that the stress could be causing your mood swings and anxiety, and everything else.  I understand completely how it can be miserable.

Yes!  Long waits are the worst.  Even just a month for me stresses me out. 

Keep posting though.  Hopefully it will take your mind off things, even if just a little.

Vent all you want!

Thanks, I'll definitely keep posting, so glad I found CB!

 

7 hours ago, jt07 said:

Asho, try to forget about it until the end of September. That's a long way off so don't let it ruin your life. I'm sorry it wasn't resolved today, but that's just the way courts work. It's the same here. 

I'll try to but you know how it is with anxiety, it likes to remind me every minute of every day

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Did your lawyer comment at all on the continuance?  I'm only asking because sometimes it's a good sign (it could mean that they see things are going well and hope that if you improve three more months, they'll make it go away for example).  Not that it makes it easier to tolerate completely, but maybe a little bit.

there are also the "court is administratively crappy and can't manage a calendar and so everything always gets pushed back" version.  That's not something to rejoice about, but it's at least not a bad thing, just a state of the court.

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8 hours ago, dancesintherain said:

Did your lawyer comment at all on the continuance?  I'm only asking because sometimes it's a good sign (it could mean that they see things are going well and hope that if you improve three more months, they'll make it go away for example).  Not that it makes it easier to tolerate completely, but maybe a little bit.

there are also the "court is administratively crappy and can't manage a calendar and so everything always gets pushed back" version.  That's not something to rejoice about, but it's at least not a bad thing, just a state of the court.

I'm not sure tbh, I think its just the court taking its time to process which sucks but not much i can do really

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17 hours ago, jt07 said:

Asho, try to forget about it until the end of September. That's a long way off so don't let it ruin your life. I'm sorry it wasn't resolved today, but that's just the way courts work. It's the same here. 

I agree with jt. I once even had a friend who got so many continuances, they dropped the case altogether for lack of interest, evidence, and time.

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