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do you ever feel normal again?


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I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety Jan 2015 then bipolar Nov 2015. I'm on quetiapine now and in general I'm doing pretty ok (definitely so much better than when I was majorly depressed!) but I don't feel the same as I did before all this started. I feel sort of fragile or volatile, like I could very easily cry or get angry or get carried away. I don't know if this is a sign that my meds/lifestyle still need adjusting or if I just need more time or if it's unrealistic for me to expect to feel 'normal' ever again. What are other people's experiences?

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7 hours ago, fix said:

I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety Jan 2015 then bipolar Nov 2015. I'm on quetiapine now and in general I'm doing pretty ok (definitely so much better than when I was majorly depressed!) but I don't feel the same as I did before all this started. I feel sort of fragile or volatile, like I could very easily cry or get angry or get carried away. I don't know if this is a sign that my meds/lifestyle still need adjusting or if I just need more time or if it's unrealistic for me to expect to feel 'normal' ever again. What are other people's experiences?

I think you need to let your psychiatrist (pdoc) know about what you wrote (in bold) above.  You might need a med tweak or med/s adjusted another way ... but I'd see what your pdoc has to say about that first.

The word "normal" I think has a different meaning for each person.  In general though, IME, I don't remember what it is like not being on meds (been on some sort of med since 1991).  Normal for me is that the hallucinations are gone, voices gone/minimal, delusions are pretty much gone.  For me that is my now "normal."  Other people might have different ways they feel normal though.

Welcome to CB!

Edited by melissaw72
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If normal means stable, then I feel normal. If normal means feeling like I did before I got sick, then no. A lot has happened and I am a different person because of all the experiences I had and I now have chronic anxiety which I didn't have before so I feel different. But I can say that I am satisfied with my life as it is right now.

I also think it would be a good idea to talk to your doctor about feeling fragile or volatile. It may be that could be improved.

Edited by wadjet
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I feel normal right now. But try me again tomorrow. 

In other words... there will be good days, weeks, months, years.... and bad days, weeks, months, years. It's a chronic illness and meds work better for some people than others. 

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Thanks for the feedback everyone. I guess I am still having trouble working out what is 'ok' to be feeling like and what I should talk to a doctor about. Hopefully this is something I will get better at with time! I have an appointment scheduled next month so I'm going to monitor my mood closely til then and talk it over with my doctor.

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35 minutes ago, fix said:

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I guess I am still having trouble working out what is 'ok' to be feeling like and what I should talk to a doctor about. Hopefully this is something I will get better at with time! I have an appointment scheduled next month so I'm going to monitor my mood closely til then and talk it over with my doctor.

I think you should tell your DR everything.  Say everything as it is/was, and let your DR figure it all out.  That might take some stress off of you, to leave the working things out to your DR.

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Fragile/vulnerable/etc is definitely something to be comfortable raising.  I don't know you to say if it's something a med change would help or not, but I think it frequently can be.  Sometimes it's more a sign that you've reached a stable point but aren't yet confident about it/don't really trust that the bottom won't fall out yet.  I tend to think of that as more of a therapy thing, but sometimes it's both.  I'm not really sure that post-diagnosis I've ever felt like my pre-diagnosis self, but my pre-diagnosis self actually wasn't all that happy either and probably was dealing with an undiagnosed depression instead of a diagnosed one.  So I'm not really the best person to answer that question.  

I think Melissa put it well--disclose what's going on (and honestly if things are vastly different in a month, it's still worth it to say how things are at this point so your doctor knows the change) and leave the working out what's okay and what's not to your doctor.  It may be that your doctor asks if you want to change anything (mine does occasionally, though he'll also make a recommendation regardless).  But if you feel like you're not able to make that call, that's perfectly fine. 

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6 hours ago, dancesintherain said:

Sometimes it's more a sign that you've reached a stable point but aren't yet confident about it/don't really trust that the bottom won't fall out yet.

I think that's a really good way of phrasing how I feel!

Thanks, this thread has been very helpful!

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