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I have been having a conversation on 'random thoughts' about the guy in the green shirt who I think was watching me through my window the other day.  And I think it would be more appropriate for a new post now.

Here is link it started on, on page 82:

Ok, so here is an update

Let's refer to this guy as "R".  I went for a walk to the store this morning.  Left around 7 AM.  As I was walking, I saw R's car drive by me.  Then he turned around somewhere and when he drove back the opposite way so the driver's side was facing me, he slowed down to give me a 'thumbs up' for me that I had started walking again.  So I thought it was over, he'd go home ... but no, it wasn't ... he had turned around again, so I was walking and his car snuck up on me from the back, he pulled over to the side (no traffic) asking if I was doing ok (meaning that could i make it home or not) ...which was nice I guess (?).  After that he stopped.

The ONLY way he could have known when I left was if he was looking out his window (which faces the front of the building).  Idk why he would be looking out his window at the particular time I left, unless it was a coincidence, because this was the first time that I walked in the direction that I did today.  It wasn't like I had a pattern so he could predict anything.  And it scared the shit out of me when he pulled up right behind me.  I had an ipod on, but the volume was at a very low level today because I was thinking about other things as I was walking to the store.  And I didn't hear/see him until he was up close and personal.

I haven't told anyone here ... no one ... that I was going for a walk today, so it couldn't be from word-of-mouth.

I don't know what to make of this ... any ideas?

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I don't have a Psychotic Disorder but I know paranoia all to well. I hope I am not overstepping my boundary here, and if I am please let me know. 

Reading your posts I can understand why you felt/feel intimidated. But I wanted to share my thoughts on how there also seems to be some miscommunication going on, and maybe add a different perspective.

45 minutes ago, melissaw72 said:

Let's refer to this guy as "R".  I went for a walk to the store this morning.  Left around 7 AM.  As I was walking, I saw R's car drive by me.  Then he turned around somewhere and when he drove back the opposite way so the driver's side was facing me, he slowed down to give me a 'thumbs up' for me that I had started walking again.  So I thought it was over, he'd go home ... but no, it wasn't ... he had turned around again, so I was walking and his car snuck up on me from the back, he pulled over to the side (no traffic) asking if I was doing ok (meaning that could i make it home or not) ...which was nice I guess (?).  After that he stopped.

The ONLY way he could have known when I left was if he was looking out his window (which faces the front of the building).  Idk why he would be looking out his window at the particular time I left, unless it was a coincidence, because this was the first time that I walked in the direction that I did today.  It wasn't like I had a pattern so he could predict anything.  And it scared the shit out of me when he pulled up right behind me.  I had an ipod on, but the volume was at a very low level today because I was thinking about other things as I was walking to the store.  And I didn't hear/see him until he was up close and personal.

I haven't told anyone here ... no one ... that I was going for a walk today, so it couldn't be from word-of-mouth.

I don't know what to make of this ... any ideas?

Do you think there is a possibility that his thumbs up was him asking if were okay? Myself, and a few people I know, will give a thumbs up as signal to another person to return a thumbs up (saying yes, we're okay) or return a thumbs down (saying, no we're not). If this was his intention, and you didn't reciprocate, do you think he drove back around and pulled over because you didn't answer and was worried?

There is also the possibility that The Green Shirt Guy was already driving from/to somewhere when he saw you walking. You said you've never taken that direction before and you didn't tell anyone you were going for a walk. If I saw someone I knew (even casually) doing something non-characteristic I would also be concerned.

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Pretty much but I could swear there is someone who parks strategically so that if he was close enough he could see right in to my apartment.  Fortunately there is a distance.  But anyway, a few days ago I saw him drive in, back into the spot again where he could see in my window if he was close enough.  He was wearing a bright green shirt so it was obvious seeing him.  I didn't think anything of it until about 15 minutes later I glanced out the window just because (no reason) and I saw him still in his SUV.  And I know he was still there because I could see the green shirt, and I'm thinking why is he just sitting there looking up (as if he was looking at me) and then down.

Ok so then I'm thinking, does he have a sort of camera (or something like that) that is like some sort of telescope so he can see right in my apartment?  So I didn't do anything for a few minutes, but then decided to flip him the bird, just to see if there was a reaction in some way.

Well about a minute later he steps out of his car, fixes his pants, then leans in the car (to do/get something).  And then a few minutes later walks into the building.

But I swear, there was some type of camera-like thing that allowed him to look right into my window. (I forget the word I am thinking of ... a telescope-like thing allowing him to see distance).   And since that, when I flipped him off, I have not seen his SUV in that spot since.  I don't see this as coincidence.   (and this guy is not the one who molested me).

You live in an apartment complex, correct? When I lived in apartments I would park in the same spot every day even if I the spaces in the complex weren't assigned. Usually because it was closer to the door of the complex/my own door, further away from other cars, or even near grass (all depending on the complex). 

Also many times I will sit in my car after I parked to text or do other phones things. And with texting, "facebooking", or other apps. looking up and down again comes with the territory. Also if I remember correctly does the The Green Shirt Man live above you? It is possible he was looking into his own window at/for someone?

- - - -

Of course people who creep exist, no doubt. But I also know when you have the thought process that tends to take a thought and run with it, the end thought can be misleading. IMO this sounds all too familiar when I'm paranoid. 

In a situation where I feel suspicious and/or persecuted in any way it helps me to try to focus on what I see/hear/feel without attaching thoughts/feelings to them. It's basically reality checking in-time/in-situation. Of course this can be more difficult if a delusion takes a hold or if hallucinations are attached to it. If you believe that is a possibility, I would suggest talking to your doctor about this in more depth. 

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Sloane gave a good answer, and I agree with her analysis of the situation. I really can't add anything to it.

I just want to say, melissa, that if I were in your shoes I'd be freaked out too. I'm from the country where the nearest neighbor is a minimum half-mile away. When I moved to the city for college and work, I was constantly paranoid that people were watching me. I always kept the blinds shut even during the day. I just could not get used to people walking around outside my window. So, yeah, if someone actually were watching me, I would freak.

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Sloane, you are welcome to post anytime  :)

I don't think his 'thumbs up' could have been just an ok, because he turned around once again, and:

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he had turned around again, so I was walking and his car snuck up on me from the back, he pulled over to the side (no traffic) asking if I was doing ok (meaning that could i make it home or not) ...which was nice I guess (?).  After that he stopped.

It didn't stop with the thumbs up (he had slowed down to do that and I said thank you) ... he went by me again after that, then pulled his car to the side of the road that I was on, right behind me.  I verbally acknowledged him then, too.  That final time he said asked if I was ok and I said I was doing fine.  It was then he finally left and went back to the apartment complex.  From facial and body language (from the chest up) the thumbs up was not just for a thumbs up.  It seemed to me to be like it was 'our own secret' (don't know how else to describe it).  And then he stopped again, even though I verbally said 'thank you' to him before the time before.  It was 3 separate times he rolled down the window of his car.

He wasn't headed anywhere (I'm guessing, though I think this is true) because after the 3rd time, he rolled his window up and headed back down to the apartment complex. I didn't see him drive into the parking lot, but I am guessing he did because his partner? wife? mother? usually goes with him to do stuff (they live together).  It was only him this time.

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You said you've never taken that direction before and you didn't tell anyone you were going for a walk. If I saw someone I knew (even casually) doing something non-characteristic I would also be concerned.

Right ... for the past 1-2 years I haven't been able to walk there.  Today was the first time I gave it a try.  And when he stopped, before the time he gave me the thumb's up, (he stopped a total of 3 times) he looked over and I said 'hi', and he wasn't moving so I just went on walking.  And he still turned around 2 more times.  The only time he could have been concerned (IF he was) was the 3rd time.  But there was absolutely no concern in his voice. 

Oh ... I forgot to mention that the total turn-a-round time for all this happening was within a 10 minute time frame (and that is a generous time frame.  It only takes about 8-10 minutes to walk to the store, and I wasn't near the store yet.  I could see it, but from a distance.

Yes, I do live in an apartment complex.  He hasn't parked in that spot ever since I flipped him off.  Whatever he was doing in his car, he stopped 30 seconds after that.  Was that a coincidence? or not?  And he hasn't parked there since.  The spot was vacant too.  It is a big parking lot so it wasn't like he had to squeeze into one place

The green shirt man does not live directly above me ... I mean he does, but he lives on the 3rd floor facing the front of the building; I face the back of the building on the first floor.

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But I also know when you have the thought process that tends to take a thought and run with it, the end thought can be misleading.

^^I'm not sure what you mean ... do you mean that what I say is paranoid-like? Actually I think I figured it out ... do you mean like I see something that is creepy (or whatever), then think s/he must be doing this or that, so

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by melissaw72
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Sorry ... my computer did something and I almost lost everything I wrote.

Anyway, do you mean like I see something that is creepy (or whatever), then think s/he must be doing this or that, so I become paranoid-like?  And run with an idea based on what I'd seen?  Maybe I do that, but almost every time I have reasons why I am thinking how I do ... it is based on stuff that happens outside of that scenario.  So it wasn't just the thing that happened that I base my thoughts on ... it actually makes sense of other things that have happened ... ie encounters of people in the hall, laundry room, coincidental seeing me all the time (almost like they are showing up every time I am outside.  

Like with the guy who molested me in this building ... I KNOW for a fact now that every time I was outside it was no coincidence that he'd be showing up, maybe driving in from something.  And I know this because my mom has made numerous remarks how she used to see him all the time when she came to pick me up, or I was outside waiting or whatever.  And she said she hasn't seen him anywhere (she's made this comment way more than one time too).  She even asked me if he still lived here.  That is how odd the situation was.  Now compared to this, the green shirt guy seems to be following in his footsteps, just not to the extent the other guy did.  At least not now.

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In a situation where I feel suspicious and/or persecuted in any way it helps me to try to focus on what I see/hear/feel without attaching thoughts/feelings to them. It's basically reality checking in-time/in-situation. Of course this can be more difficult if a delusion takes a hold or if hallucinations are attached to it. If you believe that is a possibility, I would suggest talking to your doctor about this in more depth. 

I dont tend to attach thoughts and feelings to the person.  I just say it as I see it.  It is definitely not a hallucination or a delusion taking hold (about all of this) ... I know the difference now.  And this is IRL.

Thanks for posting your thoughts :)

Edited by melissaw72
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21 minutes ago, Laftaf said:

I am sorry this situation is making you unsettled. I do hope it won't keep you from your activities and other good things that you have going on. 

Thanks.  At this point, it won't keep me from doing things I have going on (I am usually in my apartment a lot).  I'll still walk and stuff, but if he consistently shows up everywhere I am, that is when I am not sure what I will do.

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42 minutes ago, Bellatrix said:

@melissaw72 In your position I'd be creeper out and worried by that guy's behavior. Creeped out grr autocorrect.

Anyway I hope he leaves you be and stops being creepy.

Thank you.  Me too.  I didn't go out today to take a rest.  But, I do plan on going out tomorrow AM sometime.  Hopefully he'll leave me alone.

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13 hours ago, Bellatrix said:

Best of wishes for tomorrow.

Thanks.  I did go out walking this morning, around 7:15 AM,  and there was a lot of traffic so I couldn't see his car if he was going to follow me.  And I didn't meet in the main hall where he could have been.

One thing I didn't add ... when he was looping back around the 3 times he did, it was 6:45 AM on a Saturday morning.  Idk his sleep schedule or anything, but it seemed odd to me that he was awake enough to rush down and follow me when walking.  He didn't stop anywhere (i wasn't sure but now I know) because at that time none of the stores were open yet.

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It happened again ... I noticed the green guy coming in to the lot to park.  I saw him back in to the spot, and he wasn't in my view range (I looked out after he backed in to make sure, and there he couldn't see me).  Then ... he pulls out of the spot he was in to re-park, and when he did, it was directly in my view. 

At that moment I closed my shade and curtains. 

The past day or so, I have had my shade up but curtains closed because I wanted to keep the heat out, so wherever he parked he could not see in.

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9 hours ago, Laftaf said:

hopefully the high temps won't let him stay out in his car for too long, and he'll end up inside his own apartment after  a bit.

 

 hope you stay cool, and comfortable in all this,:) 

Good point about the high heat.  Hadn't thought of that.

So far now that I can pick up on some sort of his routine I can avoid him, except when he gets into his car and drives around a few times.

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UPDATE:

Every damn day this guy parks within site so that if he was looking at me, he has a perfect view.  Whether he is or not watching me from his car, it still is creeping me out.  Same spot (or in general, there are probably 3 spots with a view into my window), and he backs in.  Others back in to the spots too, but after putting everything together in my head, it is all adding up.  Of course I could be wrong, but this is high instinct I am going on.  After he made 3 loops back and forth last Saturday, that got to me.

Anyway, he continues to find the right spot to look in my window, if he is.  And I was just thinking how if he was sitting in the heat, he could run the car with the A/C on.

I told pdoc about this in detail, and I asked if it was paranoia or not, and he didn't think it was.  Pdoc was trying to figure out something to write in a nice way to his ?wife about how the guy she lives with, was (doing whatever).  Then he stopped because he really didn't know how to say it.

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Warning in advance that this is a long description without much of a solution...

The whole figuring out if things are related or coincidence can be so hard sometimes.  I just had one last night that was work-related.  I have a new family I'm working with who has absolutely awful housing conditions including three which impact the entire building that had been existing for a while without any investigation into how to fix it or development of a plan.  (We can't handle an entire group of residents but it seems like someone might be considering it and has a meeting scheduled for Monday.)  I had my first in-person meeting with the family yesterday morning and a colleague came with me so she could personally observe as many of the issues as possible (and to confirm what we could see).  She was taking pictures in the basement where there are three separate issues reported. The building management happened to see this happening but didn't say anything.  My clients have interacted with them multiple times in the last month, so it's not likely that they would have been unsure of who they were, even if they weren't sure who was taking the photographs exactly in the places of the reported issues.

at around 8 pm, my clients sent me an email update that management had sent to the building that stated what steps they had taken to investigate the three issues and what their timing was for the next steps.  Prior to this, multiple people had asked multiple times both for them to investigate and to provide any info as a result.   One of the issues in their explanation specifically referred to an issue in my clients apartment as the most recent of a particular type and gave a false explanation as to why it wasn't actually a problem, which had previously been concerned by two inspectors (the actual answer).  No other apartments were mentioned.  Their names weren't given, but their apartment number was given very clearly.

my reaction and initial thoughts, though my clients didn't suggest it, was that it was way too convenient that this explanation happened to come out relatively late at night on the exact day we were there (we arrived at 10, so they would have had plenty of time).  I sent an update to a colleague and then after I sent it was immediately concerned she would think I was paranoid (not literally--she doesn't know the mental health staff) and assuming motives where there weren't any and it was a coincidence.  Her answer was a surprise as a result.  She agreed that it was way too convenient, but suggested that perhaps they had heard through the grapevine (like a tenant who didn't want to risk losing housing) that there was the meeting scheduled for Monday because that had been scheduled for much longer (I got the new case on Thursday so it hadn't even been 24 hours).

in reality, we don't know and likely won't ever know whether either of the concerns are true.  There are some reasons why mine is plausible and there are more reasons why hers is.  But there's also the possibility that it's a complete coincidence.  They had known about the issues for close to three weeks and not done anything, so maybe it just happened to be the same day.  And my clients apartment was the last one to have that particular issue, so in theory it could have been only mentioned for that reason.  She and I both think it's less likely to be random, but in the long run what I had to do was figure out how to handle it regardless of knowing if it was a coincidence or not.

so...that's a really long example and you've probably guessed my main point.  You have a situation where it could be a strange coincidence or where it isn't.  You've asked for other opinions and your pdoc and one person here suggest it isn't one and two people here suggested it is (I'm not voting either way!).  But in the long run, it doesn't really matter if it is or isn't.  I can completely get why you would be particularly aware and vigilant because of having it turn into a major issue before...and I'm not suggesting whether it is or isn't warranted (or more that it's warranted but not necessarily accurate).  I can say that I have the same behavior with respect to parking lots as Sloane and because mine is a small enough lot to tell, it seems everyone in my condo place do the same thing.  I would also if it's a much bigger lot take the spot that is much more convenient to where I live instead of some of try ones that are further away.  That said, I really think it's one where you can't really know. 

Where you are left regardless is what kind of steps you want to take.  I'm glad that right now the solution isn't to permanently stay in your apartment, because that could turn into a bad way to live pretty quickly.  Are there other safety steps you can think of if it is better to assume that it is something rather than its not?  The first that comes to mind but I don't know if applicable would be trying as much to stay out in public areas where either people are around or where the potential is for people to be around because it seems less likely to be a problem. It also might be a situation where as more time passes either things keep happening or they stop.  

Edited by dancesintherain
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Can you try and introduce yourself, the next time you see him, by his truck? Something like, " Oh, hey there, I thought I noticed you outside the window the other day, so it's nice to put a name to the face.'  all cheery like. Or  maybe, " I notice you out by the window, the other day, it seemed so hot, and I felt bad for anybody that has to be outside for so long....... with that sympathetic smile on your face. 

  Maybe then he'll know that you are aware of him looking into the window....... Just a thought I am putting out there.

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