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I am 34-yr old guy from Europe. I have really strange symptoms, and tried many conventional and alternative strategies. I was wondering if this sounds familiar to anyone... it seems neurological, yet psychological, yet physiological... had really bad anxiety since my late teens, and sympathic nervous system overactivity and nervousness, then it became OCD, personality disorders (schizoid or inhibited) and after jamming with these for several years it turned into ''bipolar'', etc very variable patterns...hypothyroid stuff... now I have became more paranoid and super self-conscious, and feel nobody will ever get it or understand my reality... I have quite fixed patterns in my personality and kind of autistic, and unpredictable moods, severe irritability especially after walking or becoming too tired. Chronic tinnitus, coma-like episodes from time to time, low blood pressure, brain fog, dementic memory and inability to think, cognitive issues, or feel dull or then superemotional.  I have been seeking answers from top to bottom and find only theories and beliefs and nothing concrete, unknown cause, idiopathic....and this makes me feel loopy too, shrinks are out of it and I feel my current shrink thinks I am just Munchausen or something psychosomatic... isit lyme, isit thyroid, isit some nervous degeneration, am I crazy,.. feels my mind is scattered after all this limbo lol! Tried maaany meds too, therapy doesn't just click because it does not work on nerve level...like the adrenaline axis. acupuncture and tranquilizers do help a bit. But I am worried I slip into schizophrenia or something, because things are quite chaotic, and worry too much. Sleeping well helps a bit, but yeah I take cocktails for sleep, and trying not to get dependent too much on anything like quetiapine, zolpidem, and other sedating antipsychotics or mirtazapine (as low doses as possible). But sleep is too precious. I find it difficult to handle relationships because I want distance and get scared of them and then all that thought reading or 'seeing', or having no vibration at all., or feel they know what I think, or I am not like this ...sometimes even felt possessed by demons lol! Does this sound familiar to anyone? :) there would be tons of text to write and thisnwas just the tip...

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Well, I been treated as chronic depression, bipolar stuff and anxiety, but then all they can say is something like "unspecified somatoform disorder" and shrink does not say anything nowadays, because I think I look like peacock with all these colorful syndromes. Neurologist cannot find anything neurologically abnormal either in basic tests. Yet says neuroscience development is still in baby's shoes...and that we don't know enough... Somehow that does not help at all in practical sense. I have kind of lost faith in docs, and feel like it's a bit of a joke in my case, since they are clueless and "unspecified"..Or not having time to dig deeper, since that costs alot, and it is easy to dismiss with the all-embracing categories. If therapy did work it would, but it does not curenthe nervous system. But I keep looking around. :)

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Well, we're kind of bio-social-psychological creatures. 

I don't think you can isolate one aspect of this and get along with.

I'm working on multiple diagnoses right now but I'm not focusing on the diagnoses more as in my symptoms.

For me, this 'very self aware' isn't always used as something good and I can focus and obsess and be blind sided, if it makes sense.

I think this 'self awareness' has something to do with my OCD, but I'm figuring those stuff out...

I was used to mania, psychoses and depression now I would have to see more what OCD adds up to it...

 

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Hey Cottonzilla.

I was wondering if you ever had a strong MRI of your brain in order to rule out or confirm something neurological going amiss.  i think sometimes CAT scans don't catch certain things.  I've had the strong MRI because I was thinking some of my problems were due to brain damage but come to find out I don't have any.  

In your spare time you can research epilepsy which can cause these things called absence seizures where you might look okay but have no idea whats going on around you.

Anyways, those are just a couple of ideas.  

What kinds of meds have you been on?  There may or may not be a class of meds you haven't tried yet that might help you out so don't give up just yet!

Sometimes you can advocate for yourself within reason of course.  

Good luck.  

 

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I can only address the limited issue of how much an "unspecified disorder" can suck.  Mine is of the GI variety, but it's been all sorts of colorful fun doing assorted tests to rule out various awful things.  I've come to land on it not being any of the really awful stuff, which is good news, but not having any clue why it's happening is pretty bad. 

That said--to some degree the focus can really be on how to handle whatever symptoms crop up, even if the actual cause is unknown.  That's all I've really been able to do on the GI stuff in the long run, but strangely it got better that way and may actually be resolving itself soon.  My ideopathic hypersomnia isn't resolving itself though (which is just a fancy way of saying unspecified disorder that causes unusual fatigue and tiredness).  I've tossed a variety of meds at it and ran a variety of tests to rule out things and it's similarly good in that it's not being causes by something like cancer or a brain tumor, but it's still not fixing itself regardless of what's causing it.  So who knows.  Apparently my body has decided to teach me anatomy and physiology now that I'm an adult since I didn't take it in college.  It'll just rotate through all the various systems until it runs out.  Currently have covered endocrinology, psychiatry and psychology, neurology for three different reasons, and gastroenterology off the top of my head.  Only about 8 more to go. 

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Quote

I'm working on multiple diagnoses right now but I'm not focusing on the diagnoses more as in my symptoms.

(UT)  This is what I do also ... focus on the symptoms, not as much the diagnoses.

Quote

That said--to some degree the focus can really be on how to handle whatever symptoms crop up, even if the actual cause is unknown. 

(Dances)  I agree with this.

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Thank you so much everyone for taking out the time to write to me! I was just writing a longish text and it just disappeared somewhere...so here we go again!

I was in MRI some years back (two tesla machine) and it was normal. If I could afford I would try fMRI. I was deep into alternative treatments but it made me a bit paranoid and even got manic episode from energy healing etc because I tend to take things too strongly in and being too open to everything, and being like mouldwax.
..and right now have felt that being slightly "off" and not too much in touch with "real self" has been easier, because going too much in those "selves" becomes nutty.
There have been times I been fighting all meds away, demonizing them etc, but then end up taking. I have tried many, many of them in the past, severeal ADs, APs, mood stabilizers, sedatives... now on low-doses of vortioxetine, quetiapine, ziprasidone, Inderal, Synthroid, Ativan... and some others as needed...plus my vitamins etc...


I am slightly worried of going psychotic... I do have some components that seem to correlate with "psychotic patterns" like thought-reading, telepathy, forecasting etc, but I don't say they are necessarily psychotic, depends who defines it. But that they send me loopy easily. I have quite schizoid traits nowadays, and emotions are very difficult because I feel them way too strongly and they just knock me out. And have big issues saying NO, that's why I withdraw from people because I get loopy...need lots of space.

Now I have developed false beliefs about my shrink and think he hates me and wants me out...because I feel he is frustrated that I don't benefit from his methods, or even that I think he thinks I am making this all up, or being Munchausen or something.

I do agree that we are a whole, like said above, and cannot be divided into areas, or lockers...still I do it despite of knowing this, my mind feels full of lockers and categories that I really didn't want to have, trying to make sense of everything in some way, but I have also went manic from indulging too much into "spirituality" and lose all the ground...still trying to come down. Sometimes feel like having different versions of me and not knowing which one I am. I find it very strange that I get panic attacks etc from stretching or movement... or changes of consicousness and personality changes from exertion (walking)... my symptoms closely mimic Chronic Fatigue Syndrome too. Sensory sensitivity. Seems I have many overlapping issues. I'll try to focus more on health instead of disease...

I also have been having GI/IBS issues, varyingly..found slight help from edible green clay and taking probiotics as sauerkraut...lots of sauerkraut!! But it can be quite unpredictable... I can relate to the rotating in different body parts...

Thank you everyone for your good replies!! :)

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I also have been having GI/IBS issues, varyingly..found slight help from edible green clay and taking probiotics as sauerkraut...lots of sauerkraut!! But it can be quite unpredictable... I can relate to the rotating in different body parts...

Have you seen a GI DR about this?  They can be extremely helpful.  I have IBS also so I can relate to what you said about it being unpredictable.

Does you psychiatrist (pdoc) know about everything you posted about in above post?  I think it would be a good idea so pdoc can help you.  If pdoc doesn't know how you are doing and thinking, it will be harder for pdoc to treat you.

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Hi melissaw72, I did see one GI doc (and other non-GI) and he gave me trimebutine and recommended a colonoscopy, haven't done that yet. Also trying to address food allergies is difficult because one moment dairy goes and other moment it doesn't, or wheat... Sometimes I am convinced I have inflammatory bowel, but sometimes it works better.

My pdoc..I been trying to explain things to him but I always "feel" his internal grin that I am making this up or just being hypochondriac (it might not even exist, I am not sure... been going there for years) ..so don't really feel like talking about physical symptoms, because it focuses only on the mind and kind of neglects the physiological/functional aspect in an overriding way, but maybe I overfocus on them. I have considered changing docs, but then I feel it's not easy to find that good one here that I can afford. 

I am feeling a bit paranoid about writing these on the internet, do you think it's OK? ... lol...maybe it's part of my suspiciousness. :dunce:

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3 hours ago, cottonzilla said:

 

I am feeling a bit paranoid about writing these on the internet, do you think it's OK? ... lol...maybe it's part of my suspiciousness. :dunce:

IIRC, I don't know if this a secure sight (you can google it), but I have heard from someone here on CB awhile ago that if someone (Idk who, maybe law enforcement and people like that) comes looking for the (whatever ... posts/blogs, etc), they have to be turned over. 

You'd have to ask VE though for specifics on what he has to do if law enforcement does ask for it.

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Although I wouldn't assume it, my guess is that even if US or state law requires something along those lines, the living in Europe piece would make things a lot more secure because that would be one hell of a reach to get someone willing to sign off on an international request for...I just don't see anyone taking the time or money, though I could be wrong.  I believe the EU has fairly decent protections for people asking to get into its members records but it may be less helpful for going out of the county.  I honestly don't know either way on the US front because I'd assume they'd have to track down a subpoena to actually get things, but Internet security laws are a whole messy area I don't touch.

beyond that--I don't know of any issues that have happened regardless of how much emotional angst people are disclosing.  There is the option of creating a private (invitation only) blog, but that's hard to do when you are new and don't know who you'd ideally want to invite.  I wouldn't saying questioning it all amounts to paranoia necessarily, but it does seem like a problem is a fairly unlikely situation to occur.

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If you want, since you have tried several meds, you can list them on your signature as not working, and then another list of what you are currently taking. That way, we can see what you have tried, and can maybe tell you similar experiences. It can be helpful.

There is someplace in your profile where you can check that you don't want to be indexed on google. But if people search for your specific topic, it might show up. If you are worried that you are too identifiable with your current user name, you can ask one of the Admins if you can change it.

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I had a friend once with mystery migraines. She went to every sort of doctor you can imagine, and every naturopathic type of treatment possible, until one night I had a dream that she went to see a nutritionist with the same first name as her. A month later she made an appt with a nutritionist (yes with the same first name as her) and that gal determined the cause of her ailment was diet. She put her on a very specific diet, and within 2 months no more migrianes. My moral of the story here, is that maybe it's not psychological maybe it could be nutritional. I would see a dietician and find out what your blood tests reveal about your diet and find some relief that way. On the other hand, it could be a combo of psycho and physio and then it'd be really hard to determine the cause but keep on fighting, you might also like a forum that used to be called wrongdiagnosis.com, a lot of people on there posted all their weird symptoms and some people were able to provide insight. It's re-directing to a newly named website but is the exact same thing. Might help.

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4 hours ago, crtclms said:

If you want, since you have tried several meds, you can list them on your signature as not working, and then another list of what you are currently taking. That way, we can see what you have tried, and can maybe tell you similar experiences. It can be helpful.

There is someplace in your profile where you can check that you don't want to be indexed on google. But if people search for your specific topic, it might show up. If you are worried that you are too identifiable with your current user name, you can ask one of the Admins if you can change it.

Do you know where exactly?  I would really like to not be indexed on google as much as possible.  I looked on "profile" and "account settings" and could not find a place to do this.

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2Spirals, yesterday (I think it was) my friend just suggested me a nutritional professional who has same name as my friend. I also watched Cat People movie and had a black panther visiting my dream this morning, and it ate a pig (it felt brutal to watch), but then it came and pushed me with it's head like I was a friend. At the same time I was talking to this nutritionist when the panther was visiting. Maybe I should try! I do believe diet is important and I have been trying things like paleo-diet and some other low-carb diets etc...and nutritional supplements have been good too...and I believe thyroid has big influence on things...

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