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I don't know if I am schizo but I have been dg schizoid in the past though... but do have some traits that could be early schizophrenia...like thought-reading, telepathy, forecasting, "knowing" too much what others think, or false clairvoyance or being hypersensitive to everything in general.

What I was going to ask or write here is about coincidence-type thinking...like I see something and link it in my mind ...like this morning I was talking to a friend about how cumin seeds give me memories from the past, and just after talking about it I find a cumin seed in my bed (probably came from my socks), and I kinda link it in my mind in a funny way as a synchronicity or whatever it should be called...these happen quite often, once I got a thought in my mind about a specific "travel lottery ticket" that echoed in some way in my mind and then the woman who was in front of me bought just that kind of ticket. But in general, I focus too much on these "coincidences" and often can't shake them off, and start to link them irrationally... and even believe them. Last year I was occasionally convinced I will die and be reborn as a baby who was going to be born soon to someone I know. Well, I didn't yet!

I became too involved in spiritual issues and that also shoot me off the roof with my eccentric beliefs... And it has taken lots of time to come down and shake it off. And my brain is kind of in a very hyper mode and when it's been worst it can feel like I am possessed because of the "evil thoughts", but I feel it is alot of the hyperactivity excitability of the brain and nervous system that melts things up there like fusing everything together. I do have very strong cognitive deficits like in memory and thinking.

Or when I was going to visit a friend in another city, each time (2-3 times) I went the train was late for 1-2 hours due to technical problems and I was sure it was because of me or that I am somehow causing these with some electrical thing in my energy field. Or that I caused (real) earthquakes in places that I visited.

Anyone can relate? :dunce:

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I have relate.  Kind of like predicting the future, but not.  Personally, telling anyone about these coincidences, they would not believe me if I told them.  They'd say something like it is just a coincidence, which I know for me something of it has to be real somehow.  Too many coincidences happening make them questionable to others, but I think some part of it has to be real.

If this makes sense.

 

I can't think of any specifics at the moment that have happened, but what you wrote is something I can relate to.

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This is to some degree a very lazy response, but I'm on my phone without a great copy and paste option...I just talked about something kind of similar on Melissa's green shirt guy post actually.  It's not completely the same idea--hers has safety issues if it's not a coincidence, so there's w need to do something as opposed to just making a mental note and then reality-checking.  But my example in the response is closer.

sorry for the lazy approach, but it seemed possibly related enough to mention it.

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I can relate. I have dreams about the predicting future all the time, places I haven't even visited before appear in my dreams and later on I visit them for the first time in real life. I also get signals like that through the TV. Oh, but I can mostly relate to this part:

13 hours ago, cottonzilla said:

Last year I was occasionally convinced I will die and be reborn as a baby who was going to be born soon to someone I know. Well, I didn't yet!

Earlier this year I thought that if I end my own life, that I will be reborn as 10 years old! I occasionally still think this, but it's mostly linked to my previous belief that one who has sinned must be reborn in their purest form -- a child.

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Thanks for replying!! The ramble did go on again... here we go:

For me it feels there is a certain pattern or eyeglass I watch the world through, and funnily often in a way too pre-termined way. Often I find myself spinning the time faster and faster and I see myself when I am old, and it is happening now. But feels time goes faster at the moment, one year feels just some months. I like watch myself from the outside, but cannot change my patterns or beliefs, they just are, they are kind of crystallized into this, like a stamp. I can only paint it out in my paintings. But I feel I am a broken record, having a certain song to play, and always feel the same way, a pattern.

I think antipsychotics kind of tire you a bit to care less about the coincidences, or sedate, or bring you to a more random world where things are not so linked up. But I am sure some would not call this psychosis either, because it all depends on which kind of people you ask, their world views...yet from a common viewpoint it surely is. Sometimes I wonder if I should walk that path of symbolism and linked-up things, it is so appealing yet crazy. But then it goes too astral so I have to come down to reality from the dream worlds. I feel the connections also tend to increase with anxiety and fight & flight response is part of them. I have found it really hard to snap out of this all, so I paint the patterns then as an expression.

It has happened that in odd states I have almost seen another astral world on top of this ordinary world...alienish stuff. It's a bit loopy that one... or that some are trying to influence me telepathically or trying to change my thoughts or make me "crazy"...or losing the self.."ego loss" anyone? Isit part of psychosis to have that? Or becoming too much one with the surroundings, funny links from body - that often causes derealization and panicky feeling.

I have felt cursed for some years now, and very occupied with sins etc...I am trying to stay "scientific" and free thinker, but sometimes I feel controlled by some funny patterns...and had a long bout of "spirituality" over-indulgence that also flew over the cuckoo's nest with all the saints and demons and meditations that made me manic and make crazy choices... My thinking has become really simplistic like a two-bit computer and have kind of lost my "smartness", versatility... feels like mild dementia. People don't believe me because I still can somehow adapt and find a way to express myself.

I am actually really happy I found this forum, because I have been off all forums for a long long time and lost touch with people...

Thanks for reading my rambles! :))

 

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