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Okay, I admit, I've had a few glasses of wine, so I'm a bit on a rant here.  But because of my fatigue this week we did not have sex; even though I intimated that we might have sex on Monday evening; but I was really too tired and it didn't work out.  Well, anyway, we've not "connected" all week, and I know it is because of his/our missed opportunity. 

Why, and I'm not being facetious or condescending here, is sex SO necessary for men????  I do like sex, but it is not the most important thing here for me.

What is the difference between men and women and this issue??????

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Okay, I admit, I've had a few glasses of wine, so I'm a bit on a rant here.  But because of my fatigue this week we did not have sex; even though I intimated that we might have sex on Monday evening; but I was really too tired and it didn't work out.  Well, anyway, we've not "connected" all week, and I know it is because of his/our missed opportunity. 

Why, and I'm not being facetious or condescending here, is sex SO necessary for men????  I do like sex, but it is not the most important thing here for me.

What is the difference between men and women and this issue??????

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This outta be good!

I like sex as much or more than any man I've been with. It's usually me whining. Is it okay for us chicks to chime in?

I guess I just did!

Hugs,

Suze

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I was wondering the same thing as saturine...why just guys?

Sex is defiantely necessary for me.  It feels good, it takes my mind off all my crap, it is a way to lose myself in someone else, I can connect, I feel like I exist etc.  I absolutely cannot handle being rejected sexually so I guess I understand more where your DH is coming from. Sorry ;)

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From a scientific standpoint, there is likely more within-group differences than between-group differences in regard to libido.  In English: while men want sex more on average, individual differences are more meaningful and what matters more is your differing libido with your husband, not gender differences.  This explains why a few ladies have chimed in to disagree with your albeit correct generalisation.

From a biological standpoint, men are better off spreading as much seed as possible, thus a sex drive detached from feelings of love and attraction exists.  Women, on the other hand, are not wanting to carry any old bonehead's baby and it is in their best interests to be more discerning and attach lust to feelings of love.  Men and women have different evolutionary imperatives regarding sex.

From a sociological standpoint, women are more repressed sexually, for example, by their parents who see their sons' dating as natural and their daughters' dating as justification for owning a shotgun.  We live in a strange society where it's wrong to talk about sex and where actual adults continue to refer to the hoo-ha and wee-wee as opposed to penis and vagina.  Even vagina is a misnomer, as the real sexy part is the clitoris.  Society makes sex taboo and girls who break that taboo are sluts, whores, unclean, sinners, etc.  Horny men are champions, studs, role models, etc.  We're all repressed, but women get the brunt of it.

Research has shown that sex drive increases with more sex.  Thus, if you give in to your SO and enjoy the sex to start, your difference in libido will greatly shrink.  The problem is, would you enjoy it?  I'd say that the interesting question to accompany why your SO wants sex so much, is why you want sex so little.  Not to be accusatory; it is merely the other side of the coin.

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.....and for those of us who are exercise-phobic, sex is the ONLY reason in the world to get sweaty!

olga

sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex sex

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Now if anyone can understand why I like to be in a colder climate.  Anyone?

I find it has the best Nurological connection with the beauty a woman can have and is willing to offer that aesthectical beauty as much as we like tasting food. 

Maybe if one got to eat and taste gormet food and get the sense of the nutrition of the food fullfilling the hunger and noticed the nutritional need to gain that energy from food.  I think sex to me gives me that contentment and energy when I would think of the outlook one gets with this world.  And since I've had to live with Celibacy the last 40 years unto my childhood.  I'm 51 years old now and never been intimate.  So I have been pondering this more about myself and the lack of understanding from others in this world.

I wonder why people like competing and sports.  What I have gained from self gratifications and finding feminism so attractive, as smelling and admiring the colorful ostenations of flowers.  Seems to me a lot more to gain from sex, then the other pleasures people seem to think is important.  And perhaps the chemistry and biology plays a factor to how much we get the senses for sex and finding fullfilment for it, or the way our senses get numbed and murdered from sex.  Then most people allow the elusive life of sex and isn't important to others.

I think sex is like a choice for us.  If we seek its chemistry, it will give us more aesthetical pleasures this world can offer of life.  If we choose to let culture and the world murder it.  That's not my choice.

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Society makes sex taboo and girls who break that taboo are sluts, whores, unclean, sinners, etc.  Horny men are champions, studs, role models, etc.  We're all repressed, but women get the brunt of it.
Huzzah to women breaking taboos! I saw through that sham a long time ago, bring it on boys!

B)

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...Great sex, that wild crazy, primitive I want it now, I need it, insane desire to get your rocks off, get your FREAK ON,HONEY with passion and real real true love... does and will always take first place over anything. Just when the stars are just right. In that case males and females are on the same need level. I WOULD BET THE HOUSE. YES YES YES.... Romance. AHH now that is the best. Mix in with the above. OHHH BABY. To have the right set up. Then just go crazy. Yummy, Yummy, Yummy.. I could eat you alive.. jump all over you sex...
while catching that *perfect* wave, all at the same time, nirvana.

B)

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...Great sex, that wild crazy, primitive I want it now, I need it, insane desire to get your rocks off, get your FREAK ON,HONEY with passion and real real true love... does and will always take first place over anything. Just when the stars are just right. In that case males and females are on the same need level. I WOULD BET THE HOUSE. YES YES YES.... Romance. AHH now that is the best. Mix in with the above. OHHH BABY. To have the right set up. Then just go crazy. Yummy, Yummy, Yummy.. I could eat you alive.. jump all over you sex...
while catching that *perfect* wave, all at the same time, nirvana.

B)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Now we are on the same page!!!!!  We were never not...so :ninja:

Can one ever get too much good luvin'? That is not a real question BTW!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

The word is "rhetorical" oh horny one... ;)   :)   :P
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Sex for me is the ultimate bonding agent between man and woman.I met a gal two years ago that told me that she did not beleive in premarital sex. OK for the kids I thought, nope she meant herself. Now she was at least 47 with 4 kids. I told her, while I respect your attitude, I can not see myself in a committed relationship and not being intimate. It is so important for that bonding.

gals-- have you ever really had LOVE made to you and with you? Passion of love not sex. Having someone that knew what you needed and wanted almost before you did? Having someone look deep into your eyes?  Someone who whispers I love you during the act? Someone who afterwards, just laid there gently, almost like a feather, slowly touch your entire body? Run his fingers all over you?

A man that placed your pleasures before his? Having multiple "O's", knocking your socks off?

That is the bonding, the passion of love.

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It's weird, when it comes to sex, I'm all man. Hehehe. I can NEVER get enough, in spite of all the libido-numbing meds I'm on. I just wish men could want it as much as I do, which most of them sadly don't...

So, speaking from a sex-addicts perspective: Why is sex so important?

Wow, tough question really. It makes you feel damn good, especially afterwards. It releases endorphins (right?), just as when you work out. Being a bit exercise-phobic myself, just like Olga here, it gets you sweaty and feeling good without much trouble at all. No going to the gym with a heavy bag and looking at people on anabolics when you are skinny as a twig.

It's also a good way to keep you occupied during boring lectures. And by that I mean sex fantasies, not actually having sex. Lol.

And let's not the forget the intimate bonding experience it CAN be. It isn't always, I know...

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It's weird, when it comes to sex, I'm all man. Hehehe. I can NEVER get enough, in spite of all the libido-numbing meds I'm on. I just wish men could want it as much as I do, which most of them sadly don't...

So, speaking from a sex-addicts perspective: Why is sex so important?

Wow, tough question really. It makes you feel damn good, especially afterwards. It releases endorphins (right?), just as when you work out. Being a bit exercise-phobic myself, just like Olga here, it gets you sweaty and feeling good without much trouble at all. No going to the gym with a heavy bag and looking at people on anabolics when you are skinny as a twig.

It's also a good way to keep you occupied during boring lectures. And by that I mean sex fantasies, not actually having sex. Lol.

And let's not the forget the intimate bonding experience it CAN be. It isn't always, I know...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Helena and I are on the same page.  I could have it a few times a day as long as I wasn't too sore.  When I've been in relationships it starts off like that been then once your inlove and content the sex tends to dwindle.  And my beautiful self will be turned down by my boyfriend.  Not b/c he doesn't enjoy it.... believe me we've had the best sex either one of us has had in our lives.  Its the most intimate connection I've every had and if I could choose how to die it would certainly be that way. 

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;) I find it important.  Didn't anyone see my Post earlier in this Thread?  But this world, society is annoying me, because I'm not having this work out in my life.  If nobody cares.  Maybe I should be dead?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Nimbus, I read your post, but I didn't quite know what to make of it. You say you are a 51 year old virgin? Why are you celibate? Help us out here with some more information and maybe we can give you some feedback and support!

Suze

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Helena and I are on the same page.  I could have it a few times a day as long as I wasn't too sore.  When I've been in relationships it starts off like that been then once your inlove and content the sex tends to dwindle.  And my beautiful self will be turned down by my boyfriend.  Not b/c he doesn't enjoy it.... believe me we've had the best sex either one of us has had in our lives.  Its the most intimate connection I've every had and if I could choose how to die it would certainly be that way.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

This is why it sucks to not have a bf... ;)

And forget about suggestions re auto-erotica, boring, boring, boring. Can do that and whip up some dinner at the same time. It's the connection. As Scott Peck calls it in the Road Less Traveled, the co-mingling of souls with the dissolution of ego boundaries. A fancy way of saying all of what we've been saying. I'm not a sex addict, so I don't just go out and find anyone to bang for the thrill of it. Having the soul connection, the trust, with someone AND the sexual compatibility, likes/dislikes, levels of libido, etc. does seem to be, not rare, but certainly out of reach for many of us.

And then when you are in that long-term relationship with all the hassles and responsibilities, problems, kids, sex is used as a weapon, so often. But I can also relate to just being to pooped to party at the end of the night. I'm a morning sex girl. That goes to the compatibility issue too. Some people just aren't into morning sex, but to me that's THE ONLY thing worth waking up early or earlier than usual to do. Fuck the treadmill.  B)

I guess what I'm saying is, after my threadjacking posts about how much I do love sex, and I do, I can also remember those long-term relationships where sex was a drag. I think my problem is I see them as synonymous. I'm a serial monogamist.

Suze

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