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I just hate confrontation. My mother says that when I was little anyone could look at me the wrong way and I would burst into tears.

Seriously, I keep the tears inside now but things have barely changed. I mean, every one in a while I can shake things off but mostly even something that remotely sounds like a rebuke has me sitting at my desk, immobilized and ruminating over what the person said. And I have a bad feeling that I'm not good enough and I'm not doing well enough at my job. 

I have a lot of run-ins with this particular coworker and I'm always confused whether it's that she truly is rude or if I misinterpret things, mostly because I value other's opinions over my own and ppl have always called me too sensitive or told me that I've misinterpreted them. But I'm not sure. I've taken some online tests and it says I'm above average on reading people. 

I either handle confrontation by letting people do whatever they want to me, apologizing to them, blowing up and getting angry, sometimes I try to be assertive but always feels uncomfortable, or just endure it.

Does anyone else have trouble trusting themselves? How do you know how to react to a situation?

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Does anyone else have trouble trusting themselves? How do you know how to react to a situation?

Unless it is in writing where I can edit it, I also have a terrible time with confrontation/situation.  Usually, the person who is confronting me with a situation ... I let them say what they want to, and then nod my head and walk away.  Then like 15 minutes later I'm thinking, "Crap, I should have said (this or that)"  ... like the thoughts come as an after effect of the argument. 

After that, sometimes I'll make a comment or something afterwards explaining my side of things and whether I agree/disagree with stuff they said.  I'd say "I had to think about what you said about the day before." (I usually only do this with my pdoc since I don't interact with many others IRL). (I used to IRL talk to others though).  Once in awhile if I am fired up I somehow am able to have a confrontation with someone and get my point across.

 

One thing I keep in mind all the time though, is that I am careful what I say to people (including when put in an uncomfortable situation) ... I watch the things that I say because I'm 'on medication,' so if it is a he-said, she-said, I will usually not be believed because my "medication might be a little off.  Unless if they don't know about the meds.  But I've found myself in this situation before, and because of that I watch what I say to people because I don't want it used against me in the long-run.  This is just what happens to me though. YMMV

 

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